War of the LTR

[DavenJuan]

Lets see if I can lay my thoughts down properly and project what I mean to get across here.

I have been in 2 LTRs prior to my current one. The thing that bothers me the most is I really look back and cant think of what i learned from both of those time consuming commitments. If I cant take away any learning experiences then how do you grow? But moving to the present, i am in a LTR and my girlfriend currently of almost 1 year is more beautiful than the previous two combined. But with all relationships comes the portion where thigns get a bit shakey. And to avoid how my other LTRs have ended up, i want to step back and look at what I may be doing right and wrong.

My current gf is starting to complain all the time that i drink to much, smoke to much, dont do anything and she does everything. Now i didnt pay much attention to this at first, but its starting to get a bit repititous.

She does things that irritate the hell out of me. One day shes affectionate. The next day I may try to show some affection and she doesnt respond. Shes one of those girls that others would consider a B**ch.

Besided her beauty, and the fact that shes amazing in bed, theres alot that i dont get from her. If i had a long day at work and ask for a backrub, she comes up with some excuse. but i can rub her down for 1 hour and get tired, and shes ready to complain. I do things that i regret, like let her get to me emotionally and i start to argue back with her over the stupidest things.

I am not saying my relationship is horrible. We never argue about Large things or honesty or trust, but she knows how to get to me with the little stuff. She knows what buttons to push and jumps up and down on them when she finds them.

??

 

[joekerr31]

i'll tell you exactly what your problem is. and i expect you to send me 100 bucks for this analysis

you want to know what your problem is? your picking the wrong women to get in to an LTR with. i mean, from yoru description this woman is anything but LTR material. if other people consider her a 'b*tch" and she nags you and doesn't give as much as she gets, WTF are you doing with her?

i'll tell you exactly why you are with her. you are a guy who gets on a train and then never gets off (btw, 95% of the men out there do the same thing).

in the beginning she was hot, the two of you clicked, instant chemistry, hot sex - fan f*cking tastic. then a few months go by, you're now boyfriend girlfriend, your now in a routine of seeing / talking with each other on the evenings and weekends.

at this stage you haven't even stopped to think about whether this woman possess traits that you are looking for. suddenly you're now 6 months down the road and deeply into the routine: work sex sleep work sex sleep. you figure 'this ain't so bad. no need to get off this train.'

the only problem is that the train was never going to a destination you wanted. you boarded the train without knowing where the train was going. you wanted to go to california so that you could relax on the beach, but if you had looked you'd have noticed that the train was always going to seattle.

so suddenly you end up in seattle and go 'WTF this ain't Cali!" no sh*t sherlock, cali it is not.

so here is what you need to do. you need to get out of this relationship. you don't want a b*tch, she IS a b*tch, so you are wasting your time.

if what you want is a woman who will give you a back rub after a hard day, who is affectionate to you on a daily basis, etc. then GO FIND HER.

that is NOT this chic.

and from now on, when you get on a train, find out where it is going!

and you know, maybe you have to go from an hb10 to an hb8 in order to get the things in a woman that you want. thats not so bad. because having an hb10 who doesn't possess the qualities that you are looking for is never going to work.

anyway, the main point i wanted to make here is that your problem is that you do not assses the women in your life early on for their long term compatibility with you. in other words you don't bother to check where the train is heading, you get on and blindly assume its going to where you want. she's hot, you click, you have sex, done. well, that's not good enough. you have to start assessing women based on their long term potential - beleive it or not there are women out there who will give you a back rub after a hard day. there are some really good women out there, but you aren't going to find them while you're living with a b*tch.

the problem with your LTRs doesn't creep up after 2 years, its there from the very beginning, you just don't notice it until you wind up Seattle instead of Cali.

 

[Someone Much cooler]

I beg to differ, maybe she think this of you. maybe she is only with you cause she hasn't found anyone better, maybe she thinks your worthless and lazy.