wanted to be alone w/ this girl, but she brings a group w/o telling me

[xectxny19x]

Fellas! Pathetic chump(that's what I feel like right now) here, & I need your opinions please. You all can be brutally honest w/ me & say whatever. I probably deserve it. Damn! I hate one-itis.

Here's the story: There was a concert this weekend. The girl(girl1) I like wanted me to go w/ her & a couple of other people. Anyway, I only want her alone & said I didn't want to make plans. Later on, I check up w/ her again & seem she didn't have plans w/ anyone for this event. When I got there, *surprise surprise,* she was w/ a girl friend of hers. I was upset as hell, b/c I wanted to spend some alone time w/ her. Let's call her friend girl2 for less confusion. Anyway, I acted cool & started paying all my attention to girl2. Then, we meet up w/ more of her friends. Girls galore here, but yeah, I'm pathetic, & there's only this one girl I like.

When we all get to the club after the concert, 1 guy & 8 girls(there was this one HB10 in the group...damn!! I'll refer to her as girl 8, b/c she was the last girl I met). Yes. I know I should have been in heaven, but I was too into girl1. So I paid A LOT of attention to these other girls & ignored girl1. It was a gut instinct to do. I thought it was completely disrespectful of girl1 not to mention we were meeting up w/ other people. I barely looked at her & practically had my back turned to her while I focused my attention on these other girls. I was even playfully talking to the bartender who kept looking at me & smiling. Almost EVERY girl who walked by our table kept looking at us, b/c there was a lot of laughing going on.

The problem is fellas...I was doing all this being friendly & funny sh*t, & it seems the girls liked it...but I didn't even want to impress any one of them. I was just plain upset & was just thinking f*ck this...might as well have fun. The girls kept saying how secretive & mysterious I was, b/c I wouldn't talk to them about myself. I did talk about myself but didn't do the whole interview type answers like where I live, what I study, where I work, etc.... I kept it light & thought these girls need to earn getting info. like that from me. Every time some girl would try to spotlight me & get me to talk personal stuff, I'd just make a *I'm not going to tell you* face.

After a while, I just left, b/c conversation was becoming lackluster. I hate to say this – but girls can be hott, but it was boring. [Note: maybe I should learn some better listening/paying attention skills, b/c hearing about where the girls came from, what they were studying, & their pets was boring as hell! I was(I think) the only one trying to make the convo. funny & exciting.] So I checked my watch in front of girl1 & said my farewells to everyone. I didn't want anyone's number or e-mail. Actually, I told them to get my contact info. from girl1 if they wanted it.

During this whole episode, girl1 kept really close to me. We sat at the club together. I picked the seat first, & she followed me. When we were walking, she was walking next to me. Am I too analyzing things? She barely said a word as I was talking to these other girls. I kept wondering why she was so quiet but was too upset to even joke about how quiet she was.

Fellas! What do you think of all this? Was what I did just stupid on my part? Yeah. Flame me if you want. It will probably be good for me at this point. I really need your input. Any ideas of what I should do next? Thanks in advance.

 

[rocky_mtn]

Anyway, I only want her alone

Yep, thats what we all WANT, but maybe she is nervous, needed her wingwomen for protection or back up, or was seeing if you are friend-worthy and able to hang in her social group.

Always pay attention to your girl1, talk to the other girls as if they are part of your crew, but don't dis your first mate. Her girlfriends will play a big part of whether you can drop your anchor with girl1. As you chat it up with the other girls, turn to your girl1 and ask if she's ever been apart of that and keep a chunk of your attention on her. As the captain, you need to satisfy all your crew, they all serve different functions, so you need to treat them all differently, but don't treat any of them poorly, otherwise you won't have a smooth voyage.

Its a tough chore handling 8 at once. As far as the interview goes, don't seem to mysterious. Here's your chance to impress them all at once. We don't talk to women for intellectual stimulation, if you are bored, its you that needs to create the excitement. Women who are there to just entertain you charge by the hour and aren't DJ material. Create excitement and they won't want to leave. Think of the craziest thing you have done that you can repeat in mixed company, but don't say anything. When they ask about work, tell them that you do allright and can pay the bills, but don't want to bore them with work stuff, you're out to have a wild and crazy time. Speaking of crazy whats the craziest thing you have ever done (saying this to girl6 or whoever) then make them go around the circle telling their crazy stories, you will get a ton of laughs and get some of them embarassed and get some good converstion mileage out of it. Add some booze and the stories get juicy. When it comes to you share your story, just don't make it gross, criminal or a turn off. This is just an example work it to fit your personality and style. But see that now you are the conductor of the conversation, you are giving everybody a chance to say something and its all light hearted. If one of the girls doesn't have a story of says she has never done anything crazy, play it up like "hey, stick around with us (not you since you've got girl1) and you'll have some stories to tell" If girl1 says this, then use "me" instead of "us".


Don't become one of the girls when you are the only guy with the girls. This is a typical AFC mistake. Be the man that is there with his girl and her friends. Her friends will be slightly jealous of her becuase she's got the guy with her. Also don't act or show that you are upset, nervous or bored, another AFC mistake.

Don't get disappointed with girl1 for tossing that loop at you. Women change their minds all the time or give guys a surprise to see how they will handle it. If you act flustered they will play you. If you act cool and triumph in the situation they will want you.

Now go out and show those women a good time.

READ the DJ BIBLE if you haven't already!!!

 

[t00dumb]

wonderful response :woo:

 

[xectxny19x]

Yep, thats what we all WANT, but maybe she is nervous, needed her wingwomen for protection or back up, or was seeing if you are friend-worthy and able to hang in her social group.

**snipped**

READ the DJ BIBLE if you haven't already!!!

Hey man! Thanks for that insight. Yeah. I've read the DJ bible & tend to be a follower of anti-dump. From what I understand from AD, at the first sign of inconsistent behavior, I should just walk...protect my heart. That's what I learned, but what you say makes a lot of sense, too.

Now that I kind of dissed girl1, what should I do now? I was thinking of just walking away, but I do like her a lot, too. She actually e-mailed apologizing about if she did anything to upset me. I didn't even think it would show, b/c I was still being the fun guy but just ignoring her.

Nah...everyone in the group was still laughing on a high, when I left. It was just boring to *me.*

Any follow-up insight & advice would be great! Thanks!!