"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Want your Ex back? Can't move on? Read this.

expos

Master Don Juan
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I see all these posts about guys thinking about reaching out to your exes…Should I call her? Should I text her? Should I talk to her friend? Should I try to make her jealous?

The answer you’ll likely find from all of the veterans here is a resounding NO and NO CONTACT.

Look, we’ve all been there. All broken up about a some woman who dumped us, treated us like garbage, cheated on us, etc. So let’s break this down in a way that hopefully you can understand. I suggest you bookmark this thread whenever you are feeling REALLY down about your ex.

1. You are depressed and you are wondering how she could behave in such a way.

Don’t worry, she’s ALWAYS been this way. She was a brat and a b!tch before you even knew her. If you were to contact their exes, they would all give the you same horrible story. You were just the latest sucker fooled by her pretty mask. You were in love and you looked past her flaws. Don’t worry, it’s happens to every guy, even the most alpha of them all.

What you need to realize that people RARELY change. Your aunt Doris is still the same annoying person you knew as a child. Your little brother is still same kid you went on vacations with in your youth. Your grandfather is still the same great guy you remember as a child. Your mother who nagged you at age 15 is still the mother who will nag you at age 50.

Most people do not change. Bad women RARELY take personal inventory in order to change. If you were to get back with her, it would be the same crap the second time around. Guaranteed.

2. You are upset that she has moved on to someone new.

Oh, you mean the next victim? Look, at one point YOU were the NEXT boyfriend. I will guarantee you that her ex-boyfriend probably eyed you up on social media when he discovered she was dating you. Some women go through guys like toilet paper and move on fast because they can’t stand to be by themselves. They will date ANYONE in order to avoid being alone. It hurts to be discarded or replaced because your ego takes a hit.

You should never feel as if your replacement is better than you. Your replacement is not perfect. If you were to follow him around all day without him knowing about it, you’d see he is very human and flawed in some way.

He may make more money than you, might be better looking than you, or have something you don't, but you two are on equal footing because you dated the same woman. What is guaranteed is that if she found problems with you, she’ll find problems with him too. The new guy will not be excluded from her lousy behavior no matter how great he appears to be. Athletes, millionaires, humanitarians, musicians, actors - all the people we love to admire – go through breakups, fights, divorces, and deal with the same thing the average man goes through. No one is exempt.

The best thing you can do is to move on and find someone new. Don’t worry, she’ll think about her replacement as much you think about the dude who is with her now. Women have ego’s too - HUGE ones at that - and are deeply insecure. You can bet that she’ll be checking out your new girl too, and wondering what your new girl has that she doesn’t.

3. You are only hurt because of your emotional investment to her.

You worked your tail off in the relationship. Through the good and bad, you stuck by her. She gave you almost nothing in return. The harder you worked, the more she took – and as a result – you were in emotional debt which is a VERY bad thing. It’s much like a lemon car. You put in all this effort to keep it running, paint it when you scratch it, maintenance it when you need to, and make the payments to keep it in your possession – but all it does is BREAK DOWN on you again, and again, and again.

But you don’t care, because you LOVE it.

This isn’t good for your wallet, nor is a woman who continues to destroy your mental health. Eventually, you get to the place where discarding the women (and the car) is your only option.

Cut the emotional ties (and your losses) to something that FAILS you. Watch your mental health improve dramatically.

4. You are uncomfortable with what the future holds for you and you are afraid of change.

Why are you feeling this way? This is a blessing in disguise! All the great things in life come through change and progress. Getting yourself involved with a new hobby, a new woman, and a new life is the best way to grow. If you are afraid of change than you must love monotony...and for the life of me I can’t find ANYONE who wants to do the same thing over and over again.

What a boring, disappointing world it would be if nobody ever changed. What a boring, disappointing world it would be if you decided to stay with a woman or never move on from someone who wasn’t right for YOU.

All of that great music, great movies, and all of those wonderful books that you love would NEVER be written if an artist decided to be complacent, not experiment, and never decided to venture outside of their comfort zone. After that breakup, you should celebrate the opportunity to be the person you were destined to be and really see what the world has to offer YOU.

5. You are worried that you’ll never find another woman like her.

Completely false. I can go to your local mall on a busy day and find 15 to 20 different women who are better looking than your ex, and probably nicer people too. Your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife wasn’t that great…and she probably never was. She wasn’t as hot as you think she was. She wasn’t as smart or as cool as your mind has made her out to be. She was just your best option at the time. If you were to get some unbiased opinions on her, you’d find yourself shocked with the responses.

By letting her go, you are affording yourself the opportunity to date someone better and more compatible with you. That person does exist. You do have options and you don’t even know it.

Stop tripping over something you tripped over 100 yards back. Venture forward and move on and complete the race.

Best,
Expos
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

GS750

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Great post. All great points. Repped
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

9Volt

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expos said:
I see all these posts about guys thinking about reaching out to your exes…Should I call her? Should I text her? Should I talk to her friend? Should I try to make her jealous?

The answer you’ll likely find from all of the veterans here is a resounding NO and NO CONTACT.

Look, we’ve all been there. All broken up about a some woman who dumped us, treated us like garbage, cheated on us, etc. So let’s break this down in a way that hopefully you can understand. I suggest you bookmark this thread whenever you are feeling REALLY down about your ex.

1. You are depressed and you are wondering how she could behave in such a way.

Don’t worry, she’s ALWAYS been this way. She was a brat and a b!tch before you even knew her. If you were to contact their exes, they would all give the you same horrible story. You were just the latest sucker fooled by her pretty mask. You were in love and you looked past her flaws. Don’t worry, it’s happens to every guy, even the most alpha of them all.

What you need to realize that people RARELY change. Your aunt Doris is still the same annoying person you knew as a child. Your little brother is still same kid you went on vacations with in your youth. Your grandfather is still the same great guy you remember as a child. Your mother who nagged you at age 15 is still the mother who will nag you at age 50.

Most people do not change. Bad women RARELY take personal inventory in order to change. If you were to get back with her, it would be the same crap the second time around. Guaranteed.

2. You are upset that she has moved on to someone new.

Oh, you mean the next victim? Look, at one point YOU were the NEXT boyfriend. I will guarantee you that her ex-boyfriend probably eyed you up on social media when he discovered she was dating you. Some women go through guys like toilet paper and move on fast because they can’t stand to be by themselves. They will date ANYONE in order to avoid being alone. It hurts to be discarded or replaced because your ego takes a hit.

You should never feel as if your replacement is better than you. Your replacement is not perfect. If you were to follow him around all day without him knowing about it, you’d see he is very human and flawed in some way.

He may make more money than you, might be better looking than you, or have something you don't, but you two are on equal footing because you dated the same woman. What is guaranteed is that if she found problems with you, she’ll find problems with him too. The new guy will not be excluded from her lousy behavior no matter how great he appears to be. Athletes, millionaires, humanitarians, musicians, actors - all the people we love to admire – go through breakups, fights, divorces, and deal with the same thing the average man goes through. No one is exempt.

The best thing you can do is to move on and find someone new. Don’t worry, she’ll think about her replacement as much you think about the dude who is with her now. Women have ego’s too - HUGE ones at that - and are deeply insecure. You can bet that she’ll be checking out your new girl too, and wondering what your new girl has that she doesn’t.

3. You are only hurt because of your emotional investment to her.

You worked your tail off in the relationship. Through the good and bad, you stuck by her. She gave you almost nothing in return. The harder you worked, the more she took – and as a result – you were in emotional debt which is a VERY bad thing. It’s much like a lemon car. You put in all this effort to keep it running, paint it when you scratch it, maintenance it when you need to, and make the payments to keep it in your possession – but all it does is BREAK DOWN on you again, and again, and again.

But you don’t care, because you LOVE it.

This isn’t good for your wallet, nor is a woman who continues to destroy your mental health. Eventually, you get to the place where discarding the women (and the car) is your only option.

Cut the emotional ties (and your losses) to something that FAILS you. Watch your mental health improve dramatically.

4. You are uncomfortable with what the future holds for you and you are afraid of change.

Why are you feeling this way? This is a blessing in disguise! All the great things in life come through change and progress. Getting yourself involved with a new hobby, a new woman, and a new life is the best way to grow. If you are afraid of change than you must love monotony...and for the life of me I can’t find ANYONE who wants to do the same thing over and over again.

What a boring, disappointing world it would be if nobody ever changed. What a boring, disappointing world it would be if you decided to stay with a woman or never move on from someone who wasn’t right for YOU.

All of that great music, great movies, and all of those wonderful books that you love would NEVER be written if an artist decided to be complacent, not experiment, and never decided to venture outside of their comfort zone. After that breakup, you should celebrate the opportunity to be the person you were destined to be and really see what the world has to offer YOU.

5. You are worried that you’ll never find another woman like her.

Completely false. I can go to your local mall on a busy day and find 15 to 20 different women who are better looking than your ex, and probably nicer people too. Your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife wasn’t that great…and she probably never was. She wasn’t as hot as you think she was. She wasn’t as smart or as cool as your mind has made her out to be. She was just your best option at the time. If you were to get some unbiased opinions on her, you’d find yourself shocked with the responses.

By letting her go, you are affording yourself the opportunity to date someone better and more compatible with you. That person does exist. You do have options and you don’t even know it.

Stop tripping over something you tripped over 100 yards back. Venture forward and move on and complete the race.

Best,
Expos
Excellent POSITIVE post. :up: Should be stickied or in the DJ Bible.
 

Lozboss

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Thanks for this OP.

I myself am currently trying to emotionally disinvest. All the above is true.
 

salinechow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to expos again."

These are not just words people...they are truths. Believe them as such.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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