Want to share something with those who are struggling

[dannyegg4575]

First of, I want to say that it wasn't an easy thing for me. When I invest my emotions into someone, I pour my whole heart into it. I come to a realization that sometimes, you just have to take that chance and be willing to take the hit should things not work out. Life has an amazing way of letting you know you need improvements.

Anyway, this post is about how my AFC day changed. I hope that those who had a relationship and have broken up can find some sort of comfort in knowing that you're not alone. Quite lengthly, but I assure you, you'll like it

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11 years ago, I fell in love with a very wonderful woman. This woman literally changed my whole life. But those were my AFC days. I wanted so much to be a provider for her that I forgot to have fun and forgot to be a real man. I was a complete chode. Anyway, we did push through and got married 6 years later only to end up in a divorce two years from that because she couldn't stand it anymore. She got quiet and didn't say a word about her wanting to end the relationship and I thought that things are finally working out. It was then that I realized, I lost her. I can't go back to her anymore because there is no longer any feelings within for me to take her back. The big day came and I got the bomb. I cried my heart out for this woman. For weeks, I couldn't eat, couldn't do anything but started decaying in my own room. My sister and brothers tried to comfort me and I wouldn't listen.

But then, something happened.

I had an epiphany. this epiphany changed my whole life. It is a realization that everything in life is an illusion. I was a wreck I told you. The epiphany hit me that day I drove to a friend's house passing by this street that no healthy individual would consider walking and the revelation hit me like a rock. This street is filled of beggars and drug addicts. The street reeks of vomits and cheap alcohol. I looked into my rear-view mirror, with my unshaven mustache, untrimmed hair and the bags under my eyes. I looked at the person in the alley poking himself with second hand cocaine needle and I looked at the face in the mirror. There really isn't much of a difference. the only difference is I haven't numbed myself from the world. I quickly drove home and looked straight in the mirror and made one big laugh in the mirror. Because I couldn't believe it was happening. the reason I laughed was because I was the cause of my own misery! I was trying to get something that was never mine to begin with back and beating myself up because I lost it. I have a terrific family, I have my health, I have my job, I have great friends, my finance were doing well (until recently)... And I thought to myself, OMG... I thought about the children who are orphans or in wheelchairs who would give anything to have one day to be me. I thought about the handicapped children who wished they could run and play outside like the rest of the other children... and here I am.... thinking that my life sucks? and my life sucks because of what exactly???

that very day, I hit rock bottom and decided to make a change.... I took a shower, shaved and went for a crew cut. When my family saw me the next week, they thought, he must be crazy.... I started going to the gym... I started working out til my muscles ached... i started reading more and more about life... I started understanding the whole picture...

What I'm saying to the newbies is this. You too can have this revelation... It's the first step. What you need to do is to think about your own life now. how you want to live it for the next half of your life... do you want to live the same old way or do you want something better? I tell you, I choose the latter cause it feels a lot better.

Don't take it too harsh for the breakup man. Get your life back in order.

For those who says to someone else, "I know how you feel." or "go spin some plates."

I urge you to have compassion for the newbies here. Let them vent, let them go through the emotional roller coaster. Don't tell them you know how they feel. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SOMEONE ELSE FEELS. You're not them.
You can only understand the pain their going through and you can only offer so much in terms of advice. How he takes it, is up to him.

You can't go out and spin some plates right away because if you are, you're no better than a zombie. You have no emotion. You just got through a ltr, and you expect someone to man up and get another woman. How is this going to help the person's game exactly? Worst, even if he does get the woman, he'd only be using her for a rebound. Once used, he'll quickly discard it.

Being a DJ does not mean you have to be a PIMP. It simply means to be.

 

[Connect4]

Glad you made the realizations, now you know how to be a better Man the next time around.

Choose your life first and make it the best you can.

Gl bro

 

[DannykDJ]

Thank You very much for sharing this with everyone here.

I know first hand how much it hurts. My gf of 1 year left me 2 months ago. Up until last week I cried for hours every single day. You dated 5 years longer than we did so I can't imagine how I felt multiplied by six.

In a way hitting rock bottom emotional is a wonderful thing. As bad as it sounds I think everyone needs to experience it at least once.

It woke me up to how arrogant I have been. What I thought was confidence was actually a massive ego that was so big I couldn't control it and the insecurity that it took control of me and cost me my relationship and all of my friendships.

I have made a promise to myself that I will never be so egotistical again in my entire life. I have matured more in the past month than I have in the last two years. For the first time in my life I want to be a better person for me and not to impress women and be superior to other men.

I am not gonna lie, I am still in a massive amount of pain because everything I have lost was my own fault and could have been avoided, but a trainer once told me that if you are not in pain you are not growing.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Being a DJ does not mean you have to be a PIMP. It simply means to be.

Inspiring post Danny. Thanks for sharing.

It's a great feeling to wake up one day and things start to just click, make sense.

The goal of the "DJ" is to just be happy, really. When you own your happiness, when YOU control it, you are truly free IMO. That doesn't mean you don't care for others, you just have control over your life.

Too many times, we are taught that happiness is right around the corner. If I just get this job, or buy this car, or get this woman...then I'll be a complete man. Then I'll be a DJ.

It doesn't work like that. Enjoy your life right now. It's not the end goal, it's the whole process of self-improvement.

When you are truly at peace with yourself...women just want to latch on for the ride.

 

[dannyegg4575]

I am not gonna lie, I am still in a massive amount of pain because everything I have lost was my own fault and could have been avoided, but a trainer once told me that if you are not in pain you are not growing.

No matter what anyone says, the pain is real. IT'S VERY FU<KEN REAL. You can't mask the hurt but to experience it and letting yourself heal. It is not something that can be done overnight.

Danny, I'll share another secret with you. By slowly doing things, finding small projects for yourself, you can slowly let time do its job and heal your wound. And when you start to engross in it, two months down the road, you'll wake up one morning and notice something spectacular. Suddenly, the hurt is gone.

Guys, I'm not trying to be a wuss by telling you guys this. I became a bachelor a few years ago and I had massive success with women thanks to this site. Listen, you can only be a player for so long. Soon you will realize that all p>ssies are the same. Any feeling that you have for someone new is the same way you feel for a new t-shirt. You know you gotta have it but once you have it, your feelings for that new t-shirt don't amount to much.
Start looking for inner qualities of beautiful women. I know it's hard to believe, but there really are some good ones.

Start living your life the way life is meant to be lived. When you start asking, how do I do this to get this woman or what should I say or worry about how she thinks about you, you know you're not getting it right. So, even when you do get her, all you're really doing is using tactics and bullsh>t games. You'll find that when the game is over, you'll be back to your old insecure self again.

 

[DannykDJ]

^^ Thank you so much for this thread I hope everyone on the site right now who is going through a hard time gets to see this.

Danny you posted in my first thread when I came to this website. People like you are the reason I chose to come to sosuave over other forums. It is very inspiring to read posts from people with actual life experience on handling situations besides seducing women.

I remember in my sociology class the teacher was telling us about a study that proved men are more emotional and are more aware of other peoples emotions than women are, but through conditioning men are taught to suppress this as it is not stereotypical of the modern man when in fact emotional awareness is a true masculine trait by nature. Heart break is as much of a male emotion as it is a female one and is nothing to ever be ashamed of.

Hitting rock bottom was the best thing thats happened to me in a long time because it opened my eyes to how arrogant and ungrateful I have been. I have matured more in the past week than I have in the past year.

Today was actually the first day in 2 months where I went an entire day without crying. I have decided that I am not gonna waste anymore of time on someone who lied to me about how they felt and obviously doesn't care about me.

 

[Technical1]

Hey Dannyegg,

I really appreciate you starting this thread, being so candid about your past experiences and framing it all in a way that makes sense to all of us.

I also am still "dead on the inside" as a result of a relationship that consumed years of my life and failed– I try to work on my "game" with other women, and it feels so hollow that I cant continue.

But I've found the path out. Things get better every month!!

Thanks for sharing.

 

[dannyegg4575]

I have matured more in the past week than I have in the past year.

Of course you realize that won't be enough. You have to continue growing. Life is not stagnation. when you stop growing, you wither away and die. She gave you a very important lesson of life. appreciate it. Not necessarily thank her for doing it, but appreciate that she came to your life and made that change in you.

But I've found the path out. Things get better every month!!

And things will get even better once you build momentum. Don't let the momentum stop. When you "get it", when you really really "get it", you will see things differently. You'll open your mind. Guys with the like of Interceptor, Mavrick, MacAvoy, VU, Francisco, to name a few, if you hang around this forum enough, you'll see that they really really get it. Read what they're trying to say to you. Not what they're telling you.