Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Want to do it today..

drf408

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I have been going to a local sports bar for a couple months after moving to the area. I saw this one waitress there about a month and a half ago and she was very flirty she would eye me 10 feet coming until dropping her head and giggling. Of course I assume its what shes paid to do, none of my other friends could ever get more than the usual polite smile off of her. I have never sat at her table, I sit at the bar everytime.

It kept going on, a lot of looks exchanged etc. then about 2 weeks ago I friend got up to go use the bathroom and she came over to grab some napkins off the bar. She introduced herself to me and said it was good to finally meet me. She walked away and threw the napkins away without every using them, it was clearly an excuse to say hi.

So now when I go in I say hi by name and I still catch all the looks + now she will walk by and rub my arm and seems really happy to see me. It's tough as it can be a busy place and I still don't know if its interest or playing. I am really bad in these scenarios though I have been quite lucky with meeting bar staff.

On St Patricks day I had a bartender take my phone out of my hand, turn around and put her info in it, and then later call me at 2:45AM. I am not sure how to proceed with this situation because shes flirting but it could be just playing. I want to just give it a shot with the understanding it probably won't work but I have never directly hit on someone working in a bar.

I have seen the girl out of work (she didnt see me) and did not approach only because she was so drunk her friend was keeping her upright,this happened to be St. Patrick's day and before I actually saw her working at the bar. Another night we saw her again, lost track of her, later that night she was with a guy who clearly just picked her up that night. So she was single for sure at some point during this time and at worst is most likely dating.

My biggest problem is that I just don't want to come off as one of the many that blatantly try hitting on her. Only thing I can come up with is to just ask her if she'd like to get a drink outside of her work sometime? I'm meeting my friends at the bar later today. Sadly my approach "game" is terrible, once I get past that I'm good.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Gangster Of Love

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LoL.

Then she unzipped your pants, pulled it out, starting blowing you...but you're not sure if she likes you or she's just flirty or playing games.

You don't need to do any of that approaching stuff. She's doing it all for you, and if you don't take action, PRONTO, she will go cold on you, and you'll be here posting as many do, wondering why she's playing games and only wants to be friends.

Don't ask her to get together sometime. Next time just tell her to meet you after work, and hang out then. Kiss her, invite her somewhere, the same night. Do something. ANYTHING!
 

Iceberg

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You already know her, so it'll be easy to start a conversation. It's not totally cold.

If I were you, I'd find an occasion to say "Hey how ya been?" She'll reply. Then maybe you say that it's been a busy week. You start talking about your social life. Then you talk about specific bars you've been to. You ask her, "Have you ever been to X Bar?" She'll reply. Then you say. "I love that place. You should come with me. What's your number?"

Now you have her number. And you have a reason to call. Next, you call her. Ask her to meet you on a specific date. If she flakes, then you can cross her off the list. If she accepts, then you got yourself a new hottie to hook up with.

Don't make is seem like its such a big event. Don't do the romantic comedy-style "Hey. Would you want to go to dinner sometime?" That crap is old school. Just ask her to hang. It's more relaxed. And she'll know what's up anyway.
 

drf408

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You are right. I am the king of creating those situations and can go many places where I now awkwardly see those girls I did nothing with.The tactic to use is what I'm asking for advice on. Really? That would not scare a girl off asking her to meet right after work? I'll take this as a challenge to myself because that would be the most aggressive thing I've ever done lol. Actually I will probably go towards Iceberg's approach since it would fit me a bit better. And that's true its funny how over thinking little things make it seem like a big event, so I am going to just continue to be relaxed and see how it goes, which is just a few hours off :)
 

drf408

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Bleh for the first time on a Friday she wasn't there,and I was completely relaxed and hoping to see her. No worries had some good drinks with friends, however not sure what the hell was going on but it was all dudes. Normally this is THE place to go, happens everywhere I guess ...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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jafyk

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Thanks a lot you made no move on her now she's mad and taken all the girls with her. Too bad I can't get my money back for coming to this place, lol.
 

drf408

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Lol I'm sorry, I'll buy you a beer! I will be the first to admit, I am terrible in this situation. I saw her today,did nothing. I think mostly to a horrible night last night. But pathetic nonetheless, she was no where near as flirty as usual. EXCEPT, one time she walked by me and apologized for bumping into me (she didn't) my friend saw it go down and it was totally intentional. When i finally had the balls, she was sitting eating at the end of her shift. Came back from the restroom, gone ;(. Terrible, but i blame last night, it shook me.
 

backbreaker

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how does a girl call you at 2:45am and you not have sex with her? is that real life? what the **** else could she want lol?
 

drf408

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Oops I see the confusion, that isn't the one I am interested in I was just using it as an example. I didn't answer the call because I was with a girl and drunk by 2:45 AM. It was disappointing to miss that call since the girl I was with is kind of a friend with benefits deal but oh well wasn't a huge loss. The girl I am trying to hook up with is the waitress. I was multitasking when I wrote the first post and hungover :)
 
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