"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Want to ask out the girl I work with
- Thread starter Kuwi
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
- Reaction score
- 182
If its the job you are working at for the rest of your life don't do it.
I'll problably working there for about 1 more year.KontrollerX said:As long as its a temporary summer job type of deal go for it.
If its the job you are working at for the rest of your life don't do it.
MacAvoy
Banned
diablo said:From this point on, threads lacking details, mainly those with only 1-2 sentences in the body, will be deleted as soon as a moderator comes across them - as will threads that are just wildly stupid or unreadable
Guitar_Whizz
Master Don Juan
Mate, can you give us a bit more detail about the situation?Kuwi said:Is this a good idea?
My personal take is dating girls from work isn't a good idea. For one, if you stop dating each other, you'll still have to see each other every day, and that could get awkward. Also, if you get turned down, gossip could get round the workplace, and ruin your reputation or make being there uncomfortable.
Another thing, do you really want to spend 24/7 with the girl you're dating? Think about it for a second...what keeps a relationship fresh is some time apart, you know, having your own lives outside of each other. If you date a girl you work with, you will literally see her all the time, thus time spent together won't seem as special or as fun.
If you're going to ask her out, ask her out outside the workplace, then there is no risk of being dismissed for 'harrassment', etc.
On the positive side, if you just want a casual 'fling' with this girl, it could be a buzz working together and knowing what you got up to last night!
I myself wouldn't date a girl I worked with....(although I work for myself now, so I don't have that problem!).
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
I second this notion. Certian situations are horrile for dating a coworker, but others are completely acceptable. None of us will have a crack at a conciderable anwser until we get something with a tad more depth to it.Guitar_Whizz said:Mate, can you give us a bit more detail about the situation?
What else do you want me to say? I suck with details.PRMoon said:I second this notion. Certian situations are horrile for dating a coworker, but others are completely acceptable. None of us will have a crack at a conciderable anwser until we get something with a tad more depth to it.
Luke Skywalker
Banned
- Joined
- May 23, 2006
- Messages
- 2,434
- Reaction score
- 11
Sometimes you have to take risks to get somewhere or you are just existing and not living. Can't worry about potential recprocussions like other people are talking about, just do what you feel comfortable with, since you know the quality of the rapport you have with her and where it's going.
Go for it!
Let it go :
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=NK3L6ccMQ4U
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
What type of job do you work? How many employees are there? What is the venue (location, atmosphere, demenor) of the job you're in? Is there potentioal for growth in your job to last beyond a year?Kuwi said:What else do you want me to say? I suck with details.
Don't worry, most of us are here to help you in more then one way. Learning to appreciate details is a good skill to have as well. If you can't describe a situation with confidence to complete strangers then you can't possibly have reviewed the options in depth to yourself.
I'm a clerk, around 6, it's a convenience store, not really.PRMoon said:What type of job do you work? How many employees are there? What is the venue (location, atmosphere, demenor) of the job you're in? Is there potentioal for growth in your job to last beyond a year?
Don't worry, most of us are here to help you in more then one way. Learning to appreciate details is a good skill to have as well. If you can't describe a situation with confidence to complete strangers then you can't possibly have reviewed the options in depth to yourself.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Alright so that gives us something more to work with. Firstly one year at most at a convenience store is pretty much nothing. You most likely aren't going to use this place for referances when applying to other jobs other then to say you showed up to work on time. In addition, it's likely nobody at your job plans or wants to make a career out of this job so any work drama is for the most part pety and of no conciquence. All signs from this point say it's okay to ask her out given the situation.Kuwi said:I'm a clerk, around 6, it's a convenience store, not really.
Is there anything else or is that sufficient?
No, thats good.PRMoon said:Alright so that gives us something more to work with. Firstly one year at most at a convenience store is pretty much nothing. You most likely aren't going to use this place for referances when applying to other jobs other then to say you showed up to work on time. In addition, it's likely nobody at your job plans or wants to make a career out of this job so any work drama is for the most part pety and of no conciquence. All signs from this point say it's okay to ask her out given the situation.
Is there anything else or is that sufficient?