want more effort from girl. what to do?

[jake_19]

I've been going out with this girl for 3 months. She had a crush on me for about half a year then finally we met and started talking. At the beginning I was just like blah, but she went out of her way to try to get to know me. So we started dating, taking walks, going to places etc. Things were great, a lot of kissing, touching. Thing is, she almost never calls to ask how I'm doing, or say I love you / I miss you things like that. Things I would expect my girlfriend to do. I also have to ask her out every single time. She never initiates.

She started working this summer and now we see each other a lot less, only once or twice a week. I feel that things are going downhill, like the initial spark is gone. I know that she still likes me a lot, she has said to me a couple times that I'm way out of her league, and that I'm really funny etc. Am I being too needy? All I want is more effort from her and her to be more affectionate towards me. To me this feels like a really weird relationship, sometimes I feel as though I'm just her boy toy? Her facebook status says she's still single btw.

Now that I know it's not a very DJ thing to do, to call / talk to her too often, and I don't do that. I also act pretty cool and never fall for her stupid jealousy games (she does that quite a lot, sometimes comparing me to her ex). Anyway how can I break out of this and let her know that I want to go official with her?

 

[Iceberg]

I've been going out with this girl for 3 months. She had a crush on me for about half a year then finally we met and started talking. At the beginning I was just like blah, but she went out of her way to try to get to know me. So we started dating, taking walks, going to places etc. Things were great, a lot of kissing, touching. Thing is, she almost never calls to ask how I'm doing, or say I love you / I miss you things like that. Things I would expect my girlfriend to do. I also have to ask her out every single time. She never initiates.

I don't know if I've had too many cups of coffee, or there are too many high school kids in here, but people have been pissing me off today.

You've been dating for 3 f**kin months. You want "I miss you / I love you" after 3 months? Did your mom not hug you enough?

A girl who doesn't call me a lot, talk about "love", or get all touchy-feely in public sounds PERFECT. You need to grow up, dude.

Am I being too needy?

Yes. A thousand times, yes.

All I want is more effort from her and her to be more affectionate towards me. To me this feels like a really weird relationship, sometimes I feel as though I'm just her boy toy?

Then leave the relationship. You're not going to talk a woman into being more affectionate. That's not how they work. If you have to beg for that kind of stuff, then just hand your balls over and let her keep them in a jar. Because she has the upper hand from that point on.

Anyway how can I break out of this and let her know that I want to go official with her?

Why? Why do you want to be official? What does that mean? Official? How does "official" change your relationship in any way? If she doesn't like you, "official" means nothing. If she's going to cheat, "official" doesn't stop her. Girls worry about relationship titles. Men just go about their business because men are logical thinkers, and logically the title "official" means nothing. Either your girl is loyal or she isnt. The title "offical" means absolutely nothing.

 

[CarlitosWay]

I've been going out with this girl for 3 months. She had a crush on me for about half a year then finally we met and started talking. At the beginning I was just like blah, but she went out of her way to try to get to know me. So we started dating, taking walks, going to places etc. Things were great, a lot of kissing, touching. Thing is, she almost never calls to ask how I'm doing, or say I love you / I miss you things like that. Things I would expect my girlfriend to do. I also have to ask her out every single time. She never initiates.

She started working this summer and now we see each other a lot less, only once or twice a week. I feel that things are going downhill, like the initial spark is gone. I know that she still likes me a lot, she has said to me a couple times that I'm way out of her league, and that I'm really funny etc. Am I being too needy? All I want is more effort from her and her to be more affectionate towards me. To me this feels like a really weird relationship, sometimes I feel as though I'm just her boy toy? Her facebook status says she's still single btw.

Now that I know it's not a very DJ thing to do, to call / talk to her too often, and I don't do that. I also act pretty cool and never fall for her stupid jealousy games (she does that quite a lot, sometimes comparing me to her ex). Anyway how can I break out of this and let her know that I want to go official with her?

She has to make it official between you guys, not you. Keep playing it cool, give her some crazy sex, you'll find out soon enough if she values you enough to consider you her "boyfriend"

Have you guys even had sex yet? Enjoy the ride cause it seems it could end at any time..... She's probably more into an open relationship (a lot of chics can be) or maybe she just doesn't want a relationship at all right now and she hangs with you out of boredom, who knows with some chics haha....

 

[Allurre]

Switch up your daily interactive behavior.

Here's a good starter. Flip her game on her & hang out with your female friends. Instill some healthy jealousy. Spend less time with her, and WHEN you do, make it so exciting that she'd want it again. Start doing things out the ordinarily and soon, her perception towards you will shift in your favor.

 

[Nino-Tk]

listen to iceberg man,that dude speaks the truth.I also dumped my girl yesterday of 3 yearz because the initial spark wasn't there anymore..trust me,right now im feeling so good,and funny enough it's only now she is trying to put effort,she was crying and all..tough eh