Wanna make sense of it

[Pozitron]

I made this thread to rezolve some of my questions and things that bother me regarding to girls.

Before making a move or something I get this strong feeling.. it's fear or nervousness or something.. Have you guys experienced this? Does it go away? ANy tips on dealing with it?

I find that I am not comfortable ie.. looking at a girl and giving off that feeling of I want you. It's like I am IDK.. uncomfortable with my dezires and sexuality. How do I fix this.. cause I sure believe that I have to .

I don't have much experience. I don't really know what to do in new situations. I made say a move like asking this girl to go out. But I don't know how to carry on, you know? Like I asked her in Sat ir sth. We kind of have to go somewhere maybe this friday. I don't know how to follow up. DO I go and talk to her and propose we go on friday somewhere?

Even now when I am thinking about soing something like that my heart rate goes up up up and I get that feeling.
I wanna do this. And for that to happen I need some help.. answers. So what do you think, guys?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I think I still have the same feeling. Whether I get it and how I react depends on what state I am in at that moment. I think it decreases more and more the more you do it.

How I got comfortable with sexuality? I had sex. Serious. Let's hope someone else has something more applicable

I still don't know what to do in new situations. Every time I get somewhat close to having sex, I can feel some confidence drained, and I am less smooth and determined. Just persist through. Always persist, it'll solve it.

 

[Pozitron]

I think what I need to do with girls is being sincere, showing that I care and having the courage to actively pursue what I want.

 

[Pozitron]

Damn.. you make a plan and you run it through your head.. everything and how it will happen and it looks so good. You're hoping and thinking of great things.
Then nothing or very little goes as planned and life makes sure you're caught by surprise..
It happened to me today. I thought I would meet this girl and give her sth and then talk to her and insinuate about we going out and bla bla. Thought about it a looot. What happened? I called her. SHe didn't answer. I accidenta;y bumped into her. Hi - HI. She was in a rush and with a friend. I called her and pulled her away.. gave her sth then as she was returning to her friend I only managed to say:"so you don't answer your phone now?"playful. That was it.
So much time imagining and thinking about what will happen and how.. wasted for nothing.
Sometimes I feel we fall in love with an idea.. with something we imagine... anyway.
Same happened last summer. I was going to talk to a girl in private after we walked a friend somewhere. We walked the friend and the girl left.. couldn't do anything about it. Next day I was determined to talk to her and call her to meet up before we hang out with our friends. I called her but guess what.. she couldn't come. And then when she did she came with her friend (****). Yeah.. I didn't manage to talk to her then... I never did in fact..ever since. And now I am like looking like her and thinking how I am so into her and I do nothing..cause we act like friends.

Why does this happen..? It seems to happen constanly... What do you think guys?
What can I do so things would turn out the whay I want them to turn out?
Why the hell it's never as I plan or imagine and its like life just ****es with me in those situations. How can I ever do something and make a move in these conditions? I'm sure I'm not special or that only I have faced this. YOu guys surely did also. S what do you think?

 

[Pozitron]

Ooh la la .

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Damn.. you make a plan and you run it through your head.. everything and how it will happen and it looks so good. You're hoping and thinking of great things.
Then nothing or very little goes as planned and life makes sure you're caught by surprise..
It happened to me today. I thought I would meet this girl and give her sth and then talk to her and insinuate about we going out and bla bla. Thought about it a looot. What happened? I called her. SHe didn't answer. I accidenta;y bumped into her. Hi - HI. She was in a rush and with a friend. I called her and pulled her away.. gave her sth then as she was returning to her friend I only managed to say:"so you don't answer your phone now?"playful. That was it.
So much time imagining and thinking about what will happen and how.. wasted for nothing.
Sometimes I feel we fall in love with an idea.. with something we imagine... anyway.
Same happened last summer. I was going to talk to a girl in private after we walked a friend somewhere. We walked the friend and the girl left.. couldn't do anything about it. Next day I was determined to talk to her and call her to meet up before we hang out with our friends. I called her but guess what.. she couldn't come. And then when she did she came with her friend (****). Yeah.. I didn't manage to talk to her then... I never did in fact..ever since. And now I am like looking like her and thinking how I am so into her and I do nothing..cause we act like friends.

Why does this happen..? It seems to happen constanly... What do you think guys?
What can I do so things would turn out the whay I want them to turn out?
Why the hell it's never as I plan or imagine and its like life just ****es with me in those situations. How can I ever do something and make a move in these conditions? I'm sure I'm not special or that only I have faced this. YOu guys surely did also. S what do you think?

I don't plan ahead in detail. Reality never fits your plans.

 

[Pozitron]

It sure doesn't.
If I was just friends with this girl and I ask her out.. how to do that and how to act afterwards so that I shouw I am interested but I'm not being creepy or awkward?

 

[BPH]

I really don't understand why you don't post stuff like this in your journal.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

It sure doesn't.
If I was just friends with this girl and I ask her out.. how to do that and how to act afterwards so that I shouw I am interested but I'm not being creepy or awkward?

Didn't we just conclude that plans don't work out?

 

[Pozitron]

We did but how am I supose to move anything forward if I don't have a plan?

Take for ex. the sit. with this girl. Should I find her tomorrow and ask her to go somewhere after school?

 

[BPH]

We did but how am I supose to move anything forward if I don't have a plan?

Take for ex. the sit. with this girl. Should I find her tomorrow and ask her to go somewhere after school?

Read Gunwitch method.

Never have a plan.

Sh** gets worked out.

 

[Pozitron]

Will do.

 

[Mindgamez]

I just realized this happens to me too...
When I don't have any plans, I just care so much less about what happens. I know it won't go as planned because, I didn't plan anything. But I always plan something... and often I end up not doing it. This sucks.

Some days I just feel pretty confident and I can talk to many girls, and other days I just feel down so I start planning things instead of just talking when I feel like doing it. Where's the Gunwitch method thingy? I wanna read it too