Walking away and saying fvck it!

[5string]

OK. I have been reading some posts on here that really got me thinking about how to maintain interest, relationships in general and our own well being as men. Here it is.

No matter what the relationship is, LTR, ONS, LDR, you have got to have the ability to simply walk away! Set your emotions to the side and decide what's best for YOU! This even applies to marriage (I am). Do I have this ability? You betcha I do and she knows it. All of you guys need to adopt this mindset. Gina's can be replaced easily. You need to understand that. Granted you might find one that really lights you up, but even under those circumstances, you have to have it in the back of your mind that you can bail on a chick and move on in a NY minute. Maybe she cheated, disrespected you or otherwise fvcked up. Move on. Get over it. Control your emotions for your own survival and mental health.

I am seeing this time and time again on here. If they need to be kicked to the curb, do it and don't look back. Hold your head high after taking out the trash.

Sorry, cranky again this AM.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Just like that movie "Heat".
Robert de Niro's character says: "Don't get attached to anything you can't walk away from in 30 seconds..."
Very true with women.

 

[bigneil]

I agree 5string. Trying to practice what you preach (day 17 of NC). It's nothing compared to my BPD LDR Oneitis from this time last year.

 

[5string]

Great post 5string, but walking away from marraige will likely result in significant financial loss for most men, so I disagree that a guy should walk away from his marriage. Not the same as a non marital relationship. If a guy wants to walk away, then he shouldn't marry to begin with!!

Thanks Espi. Agree.

Trust me, I lost 7 digit money after divorcing my 1st wife of 25 yrs. Instead of whining about it, I just look at it as money well spent. I'm very happy now in my second marriage.

Still stand by what I said though. No matter what, you have to be able to walk away, even in a marriage. For example, if my wife cheated on me, I'd end it plain and simple. Some lines cannot be crossed under any circumstances. Women need to know this. Keeps em' in check.

 

[Serg897]

This cant be repeated enough. Frankly Im embarrassed by how many times I've forgotten this SIMPLE principle in my life, and recently, given this stupid oneitis from last year that is still affecting me somewhat.

We must have our own identities. We must not let a woman become part of that identity. She is only a supplement. Once we let a woman become more than this not only does it lead to an unhealthy relationship it fvcks you up and sets you on the road to oneitis.

Posts like this are why I still visit this forum. Thanks 5string.

 

[AW1983]

Timely post man, I've been dealing with some sh!t from a long-term plate who I have decent history with and today I had to do pretty much just this. She'll no doubt come crawling back, I just have to decide whether it's worth it.

Funny how it's our tendency (or mine anyway) when SHTF to feel those inkling slivers of self-doubt: "what if she's the one? what if all the other broads out there are immoral little skeezys and I'm fvcking it up with this good one over some silly little issue, etc, etc" I find this involuntary mental response to be the hardest part of the walk away paradigm, but I always try to remember that if I'm even thinking that *ever* so slightly, SHE's probably having a full-blown hamster meltdown with the same variety of thoughts x1000 intensity. Which is usually why they come back apologizing and bearing bj's...

 

[5string]

Thanks fellas. Great input. You guys are great.

Let's take it a step further. Let's just say you are really into a chick and even maybe have oneitis for her. She's hot and gives you crazy monkey sex. She fvcks up in some fashion. You walk away, BUT, after you do, she comes runnin' back for her attention fix and offers up that coochie on a silver platter to you. Here it is baby, you can have all you want! Tempted? Better believe you are.

This is where it get's tough. Can you still turn your back on her and tell her to get lost? Or, will you decide to seperate her from her panties and tear it up? Always remember, she can be replaced and you do not, I repeat, do not have to put up with her BS. I know how hard this is. Been there. One of my lessons in life if you will. I learned it well.

The little guy on your shoulder is right when he tells you that there are other women out there and you should unfvck yourself and walk away.

Just keep your powder dry, your pecker hard and the world will turn.

 

[SecondHalf]

Thanks fellas. Great input. You guys are great.

Let's take it a step further. Let's just say you are really into a chick and even maybe have oneitis for her. She's hot and gives you crazy monkey sex. She fvcks up in some fashion. You walk away, BUT, after you do, she comes runnin' back for her attention fix and offers up that coochie on a silver platter to you. Here it is baby, you can have all you want! Tempted? Better believe you are.

This is where it get's tough. Can you still turn your back on her and tell her to get lost? Or, will you decide to seperate her from her panties and tear it up? Always remember, she can be replaced and you do not, I repeat, do not have to put up with her BS. I know how hard this is. Been there. One of my lessons in life if you will. I learned it well.

The little guy on your shoulder is right when he tells you that there are other women out there and you should unfvck yourself and walk away.

Just keep your powder dry, your pecker hard and the world will turn.

Good thread. Couple of points hit pretty close to home.
I think Scaramouche advised me in a separate thread, that the way of the Juan, would be to never close doors, keep things civil and maybe an opportunity will come up to dive back in there for a few someday.

I'm trying to live by this advise regardless of it's difficulties. So, I would boink her, tell her what she wants to hear whilst lining up a replacement plate or at least getting one I would prefer to be with.

SH

 

[Three]

5String - This advice is gold and timely for me also. My second marriage is in it's death throes and I've been fighting it inside even while trying to end it peacefully on the outside.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear 5String,
Yes for most of us Players,this is timely advice....The value of Plates in this context cannot be overstated...But for people like yourself in an ostensibly happy marriage....It is lunacy...Who wants to be gang raped in the Family Court?...So accept that your ball and chain is going to have her moments,Women are by our standards irrational beings....It is in your interest to ride the Storm out,like every mood it will eventually run out of steam and settle down....Those who chose to marry,place themselves in a very vulnerable situation....However,good luck Mate!

 

[backbreaker]

right when i moved to san diego a few years ago within a month i had met this chick who was just HOT and she knew she was HOT too. and i got her number i did what i was upposed to do, we went out, we had fun, she wasn't a horrible person she was half ass interesting, but after that it was like every ting was one test after another. it's like, she would be difficult jsut becuase she could be. for no real reason at all. it would be this big flat wide street and she would just up these hurdles for no apparant reason. "your black i dont' know what people will think about that,k i've never dated a black guy before" " you are always so busy you need to be more availble if you expect me to go on dates with you" "oh i don't know what i want to do my friends want me to do this and my ex is wanting to talk to me blah blah blah" and you know after like a week or 2 of this i said yyou know what.. lol fvck this. who the fvck do you think you are.

it wasn't something i even thought about doing i remember she called me when i was in the gym one day and i made the decision to just not pick up the phone. and then i made the decision not to call her back that day then i was just like you know screw it she isn't worth the effort.

once she fgured out i had went ghost she went bat**** crazy. though it took a few days for her to get the point. "you think y that poou are hot **** where you can just not avoid me like you have better things to do" or "do you know how many guys would like for me to call them" all this is **** she left on my voice mail. and she STILL did not get it. i was done lol. by that point she was nothing more than a source of amusement. i h ad moved on.


every woman you meet will give yoyu some form of **** test, becuase that's what she does becuase she's a woman. amber shot me down like 3 times before we went on a date and she was crazy about me. millie just refused to have sex with me for like a week (i think 2 or 3 dates) not because she did not want to but just becuase that was her test

but, there is a difference between a little resistance and the freaking great wall of china. when a woman just starts being a ***** becuase she is a woman, it's time to go. i don't care how hot, smart, rich, etc she is at that point cut your losses she isn't worth it.

I do not or no longer think in terms of are my actions going to get a woman back or not i think of them is who preductive is my time spent chasing women. i only have a finite amount of time and resources and i do not like to waste them, but at the same time i do enjoy female companionship so i will exert some effort but you aren't going to send me on ar Herculean 12 test of time type epic jounry to get into your pants. no mas.
]

 

[backbreaker]

Dear 5String,
Yes for most of us Players,this is timely advice....The value of Plates in this context cannot be overstated...But for people like yourself in an ostensibly happy marriage....It is lunacy...Who wants to be gang raped in the Family Court?...So accept that your ball and chain is going to have her moments,Women are by our standards irrational beings....It is in your interest to ride the Storm out,like every mood it will eventually run out of steam and settle down....Those who chose to marry,place themselves in a very vulnerable situation....However,good luck Mate!

you do not have to cheat on you wife to for her to know that other women still want you.

i was at a BBQ, not mine, about lasty labor day right before college football season and my wife had went to drop our son off at the babysitters house so i was thereby myself and this woman just took it upon her self to intedce herself to me and she was throwing it on thick flipping the hair laughing at stupid jokes it was clear as day s he liked me and my wife got back and beucas i wasn't doing anything wrong she could not get mad at me but she made it quite clear that i was spoken for.

that's all a woman needs. for her to know that you are desired by another woman. the act of fvckign someone else is secondary. d.

as long as a woman thinks s you are about the best she can do you have nothing to worry about. when she thinks she can do better she will be disintersete

 

[5string]

you do not have to cheat on you wife to for her to know that other women still want you.

i was at a BBQ, not mine, about lasty labor day right before college football season and my wife had went to drop our son off at the babysitters house so i was thereby myself and this woman just took it upon her self to intedce herself to me and she was throwing it on thick flipping the hair laughing at stupid jokes it was clear as day s he liked me and my wife got back and beucas i wasn't doing anything wrong she could not get mad at me but she made it quite clear that i was spoken for.

that's all a woman needs. for her to know that you are desired by another woman. the act of fvckign someone else is secondary. d.

as long as a woman thinks s you are about the best she can do you have nothing to worry about. when she thinks she can do better she will be disintersete

GOLD BB. Would rep you if I could.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Going to make my re entry to the forum after being gone over almost a year and half! This right here says it!!! I need to apply this concept in my life more. Jesus, the $hit I have been through since last being here!

WALK AWAY!!!!!!

 

[5string]

Going to make my re entry to the forum after being gone over almost a year and half! This right here says it!!! I need to apply this concept in my life more. Jesus, the $hit I have been through since last being here!

WALK AWAY!!!!!!

So what happend while you were gone brother? You ok?

 

[SoldMySoul]

So what happend while you were gone brother? You ok?

Not so much, but working on it and me! Thanks! Just posted a small portion of it.

 

[pdx1138]

absolutely true.

You have to do this to cover yourself.
It's an insurance policy.

I'm 4 months in a relationship with a really nice girl, but I'm seeing definite signs she's losing interest.

It began about a month ago when she posed the question: "what are we?"

I'm predicting she'll give me the drop any week now. She's been so good to me
I'm going to let her say it. The problem for me, is that "something" has been lacking
since day one with her. I just don't feel the hot passion for her that I have with other women.

I've been guarded since day one even though I thought it would last a lot longer with her.

as a result, I'm nowhere near "destroyed" like I was in my last relationship.

A bit sad, yes...but not devastated.