"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Waitress onboard a vessel.

Styr

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I am going for a short cruise tomorrow, and while onboard, I plan on talking to and asking out a waitress I met on my last cruise, where she was way too flirty and receptive as to what is expected of her work. She did in fact not serve me the last time, as I requested a different table (she would most likely have served the original one), but I made a brief approach the morning after and it went well.

My worry is: How do I make sure I get served by her? I could ask the maître d'hôtel, whom I know relatively well. Albeit I am afraid that would sound a bit spooky, as I still barely know the waitress.

Walking past the restaurant and gathering intelligence as to her whereabouts and tables she is serving is suspect, and even needy. And it might not even work, as she might be on a break, or they have some kind of system I am not able to comprehend.

The last time it was her who in fact received me at the restaurant, and showed me to the table, though I am pretty sure she should have asked the maître d'hôtel to do that.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Greasy Pig

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Do the staff get on the booze? Try to bump into her at a bar and start spitting game.
 

Styr

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Greasy Pig said:
Do the staff get on the booze? Try to bump into her at a bar and start spitting game.
(Un)fortunately not. :p

The crew members are not allowed to be in the passenger areas on their free time.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Styr,
Cruise lines deliberately make fraternising between the crew and passengers tricky to say the least...for a start your cabin is out of bounds to other than authorised crew,as are her quarters to you...best you can do is slip her a note to meet at one end or other of her journey!
 

Styr

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Scaramouche said:
Dear Styr,
Cruise lines deliberately make fraternising between the crew and passengers tricky to say the least...for a start your cabin is out of bounds to other than authorised crew,as are her quarters to you...best you can do is slip her a note to meet at one end or other of her journey!
I am aware of that - I have worked in the deck crew of various vessels, including cruise ferries. It is generally not forbidden (though it is a reasonable excuse for a girl to say no) to exchange phone numbers, and so on. That is what I am after. Not for her to have an exciting and never-before-experienced night with me in her cabin. That can be left for some later time. :D
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Styr

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If all else fails, I could try to do that. I am just afraid that it requires a great deal more confidence and congruence of me (which I might, or might not lack) than to get her talking when she already has a legitimate reason (i.e when she is serving me) to talk to me.

I mean, I have had a few waitresses sit next to me in the past, so a setting like this has served me well. And then I could ask for her number, or do it the morning/day after. If I were to walk up to her out of the blue, when she fairly likely has no clue as to who I am (albeit many girls have a good memory, I give them that), my chances of anything good (besides the experience) coming out of it fall drastically.

Basically her having served me serves as an ice-breaker. Unless she does remember me, and as much as I would like to have created a lasting impression on her the last time, I can not be certain of that. :p
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Styr,
She is only a Woman,if you can't ask her straight out then slip her a note...Easy!
 
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