Waiting too long to contact after date?

[omkara]

So most of what I have read (including Roissy) says that it's best to maintain a distance, present yourself as being busy, having other options etc. That's all well and good. Being distant comes naturally to me. But I wonder if sometimes you can be TOO distant. After all, part of the seduction process is creating an emotional connection.

After the last date I had, I waited 5 days to text her. It was a first date and we just met that week. We went out on Thursday and I texted her on Tuesday. Didn't get a reply, so that means she's nexted. I thought the date went well. I messed up a few times (saying we had some things in common, saying we should go out again = too much validation and no mystery), but she leaned in for the kiss at the end. When she dropped me off, she asked to go in to use the bathroom (as an excuse to get inside haha). She was giving me major signals and there's no doubt in my mind that, at least up until she left, she was very sincerely interested.

So it's really hard to say whether her lack of reply might have been because she reevaluated the date, or talked it over with her gf and got dissuaded, or was mad because I didn't text sooner? I know people will say, oh she didn't like you. But is it ever possible to wait too long to contact them and then they get upset? It seems every time I wait too long this happens.

Keep in mind these are not high value girls. More like good girls, maybe like 3 body/5 face (a little bigger with big tits). I think sometimes it is possible to over-neg girls who are not that much in demand. According to Roissy, not contacting for several days is equal to a neg. So in this case I might have over-negged. What do you think? What is a good amount of time to wait to contact after first date?

 

[the305]

"We went out on Thursday and I texted her on Tuesday. Didn't get a reply, so that means she's nexted"

where ever you read information that made you come to this conclusion.. BURN that material.

1. How are you going to get better if you keep nexting girls? Are you ever going to learn what your doing wrong? NO
2. Not nexting her, and keeping her in your phone book sending her a few texts here and there, too much for your ego to handle?
3. Since when do people respond to every single text message? Do girls not have lives now? do people not get busy?

Dude, read material online, but take a step back into reality and use judgement, don't fall into this "i need to be a alpha male, not take ****, girls need to chase me" crap - that will not get you girls and it will make you a complete douchebag in general.

 

[Jeffst1980]

5 days is fine. Even if she WAS annoyed that you didn't contact her sooner, that would not make her lose interest. To the contrary, really...'interest' simply means that she's thinking about you, and by not contacting her right away, you're letting her imagination do the work for you.

Wait a few days, then text her again. Don't ask for the date right away, build some rapport first. Don't 'next' her just yet--expect girls to be a bit flaky early on. If she doesn't respond to the next one, then I'd move on.

 

[RedZone]

A lot of people ask the same question, "How long do I wait before I make contact." and to me I believe as long as a few days pass you will be fine. I have this friend, who got this girls number at a club and within the next five minutes as we were leaving he texted her. We questioned him about it and he simply told us, "He doesn't play by the rules." But long story short he never hung out with her because he couldn't even wait three to five days. So, the moral of the story is as long as you don't cave in right away you will be fine.

 

[cordoncordon]

If a girl is really into you, and as long as you don't act like a crazy stalker, it won't matter if you text her after 5 minutes or 5 days trust me. She would probably like the 5 minutes text better. Some people place too much emphasis on these games. Think of it like this. If you went out with some HB8-9 that you really liked, and she texted you 5 minutes after the date, would you say to yourself, "ya know, even though we had a great date and this girl is totally hot, she just texted me after 5 minutes of the date being over, so nahhhh, I'm not going to see her again". I mean that's ridiculous. Same thing if you wait 5 days.

Bottom line is if she into you, all those games dont matter. I think some here want to BELIEVE they matter because they haven't had success with girls in the past and its something new they can try, but in the end, it all comes down to if she thinks your hot....or not.

 

[RedZone]

I get your point but 5 minutes after is a little much. No matter how much somebody digs you it would only benefit you to wait a little longer than that. It just seems a little to desperate, but I'm not an expert every girl is different.

 

[omkara]

Hmmm... ok so it appears that my mistake was not waiting too long to text, but misinterpreting her non reply to my text. Ok next time I will try a little harder and give her another chance. She could have been playing hard to get or something. She could also have been doubting my sincerity now since I waited a long time. When we first started talking, we were emailing/texting once or twice a day. And then set up a date within 5 days. It was pretty cool like that.

"2. Not nexting her, and keeping her in your phone book sending her a few texts here and there, too much for your ego to handle?

yes

3. Since when do people respond to every single text message? Do girls not have lives now? do people not get busy?

I don't know. I'm just an internet nerd. In fact the only time I ever go out socially is on dates, so I need to check with other people who are more social to get a better sense than just reading stuff.

" don't fall into this "i need to be a alpha male, not take ****, girls need to chase me" crap - that will not get you girls and it will make you a complete douchebag in general.

hmm douchebag, I like the sound of that. lol

 

[PapiChulo]

She should have stayed at your place where you would put your moves on. That's the first mistake.


Second, I disagree about the alpha thing and douchebags. The whole point of being alpha is not to be the douchebag next door. It's about being a great man as this does make the women notice you and even admire you a little, thus, creating a larger pool of potential hookups. They wont chase you unless you have model looks or loaded with $$$$-it will just be easier and a lot smoother than picking women off the street.

 

[omkara]

It could have very easily gone down that way. The only thing is that I was on 3 hrs sleep and had to get up early the next morning. When she came out of the bathroom I was already listening to my answering machine about two interviews I had to call back about. I also thought I might be demonstrating "high value" by not needing to have sex right away.

This is kinda lame but I thought as long as she didn't reject my kiss (like the last date I went on) then it was on and then I could file her away in my rolodex for when it was more convenient. I just wanted to kiss and then shake hands and then go to sleep so I could get up early. lol

 

[PapiChulo]

You should have gotten her all buttered up and then thrown her ass out the door. That's the ashole way.

 

[omkara]

Dude that is brilliant! I would never have thought of that. Makes a lot of sense though...

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

A lot of relationships I've observed with friends started with the couple seeing each other a LOT right out of the gate. I mean, every other day (at least) . . and thats SEEING them, let alone other means of communicating.

It never jived with the standard PUA stuff.

 

[joe henny]

"We went out on Thursday and I texted her on Tuesday. Didn't get a reply, so that means she's nexted"

where ever you read information that made you come to this conclusion.. BURN that material.

1. How are you going to get better if you keep nexting girls? Are you ever going to learn what your doing wrong? NO
2. Not nexting her, and keeping her in your phone book sending her a few texts here and there, too much for your ego to handle?
3. Since when do people respond to every single text message? Do girls not have lives now? do people not get busy?

Dude, read material online, but take a step back into reality and use judgement, don't fall into this "i need to be a alpha male, not take ****, girls need to chase me" crap - that will not get you girls and it will make you a complete douchebag in general.

I agree 100 percent when I was younger I used to brag about hoe many girls numbers I get and how I constantly get new numbers and delete them then he asked me how many of em i fvcked by deleting so many? You will get nowhere by deleting numbers

Also I don't know who made that stupid azz rule about waiing. It is so retarded. The last 3 chicks I boned all were contacted by me the very next day. Why would I wanna put offf my pleasure? Also women get approached by so many men on a daily so if you dont stay in her mind trust me:SOME ONE ELSE WILL