Waif / Quiet BPD - Experiences

[LondonTowers]

Have any of you guys dealt with this type of Borderline? There are plenty stories of classic outward BPD girls and I can tell them from a mile off, but these Waif / Quiet Borderlines seem to be harder to spot but looking back I have definitely dealt with these before.

There's a chick at work who I've been getting to know, she is quiet and reserved, but seemed to be nice and sweet too. She is cute in an understated way, ironically looks like Wynona Ryder in Girl Interrupted!

Anyway, she started opening up to me pretty rapidly recently as I built rapport, she is saying stuff like how she has suffered depression, self harmed, has body dysmorphia, was molested, doesn't have any friends, doesn't get on with girls, hardly eats, has had suicidal thoughts. I know, I know.. writing this down it sounds crazy, but she just seemed to open up to me as I've paid attention.

But now, I think she may be putting the ground work to hook me. Divulging these things is like she is the victim and is trying to pull out some kind of white knight impulse in me. A younger me would probably have thought we were getting close, but the older me now is thinking WTF is this girl up to!

So basically, I know a classic BPD girl will shower you with attention/love/sex at the beginning to get you hooked.. but does a Waif / Quiet Borderline do the opposite, instead playing the weak victim that needs saving and try to pull at your inner white knight to fix her and get emotional involved.. then later start playing all the classic push/pull, emotional manipulation but via a more subtle way that doesn't involve raging.

Experiences / Stories welcome to get a better picture of this very insidious creature!

Interesting read: http://gettinbetter.com/waif.html

 

[GS750]

Dude if this chick has a history of depression and cutting and has no friends she's a certified nut. You'd be crazy to get involved with her whether or not she's BPD/Bipolar/whateverthefvck. She's a wackjob and you know it. Next you're gonna tell us she collects cats. Steer clear.

 

[AttackFormation]

She's telling you this stuff to get you hooked on her. "What? Attack Formation, what kind of poor girl like this would turn abusive later? maybe she just needs someone who listens to her" is what she wants to circulate in your head. Be wary with this one...

 

[GS750]

Crazy...but probably an animal in the sack just like all the crazies. Get ya hooked with the amazing sex but makes your life a living hell. Tread lightly.

 

[christoff522]

Have any of you guys dealt with this type of Borderline? There are plenty stories of classic outward BPD girls and I can tell them from a mile off, but these Waif / Quiet Borderlines seem to be harder to spot but looking back I have definitely dealt with these before.

There's a chick at work who I've been getting to know, she is quiet and reserved, but seemed to be nice and sweet too. She is cute in an understated way, ironically looks like Wynona Ryder in Girl Interrupted!

Anyway, she started opening up to me pretty rapidly recently as I built rapport, she is saying stuff like how she has suffered depression, self harmed, has body dysmorphia, was molested, doesn't have any friends, doesn't get on with girls, hardly eats, has had suicidal thoughts. I know, I know.. writing this down it sounds crazy, but she just seemed to open up to me as I've paid attention.

But now, I think she may be putting the ground work to hook me. Divulging these things is like she is the victim and is trying to pull out some kind of white knight impulse in me. A younger me would probably have thought we were getting close, but the older me now is thinking WTF is this girl up to!

So basically, I know a classic BPD girl will shower you with attention/love/sex at the beginning to get you hooked.. but does a Waif / Quiet Borderline do the opposite, instead playing the weak victim that needs saving and try to pull at your inner white knight to fix her and get emotional involved.. then later start playing all the classic push/pull, emotional manipulation but via a more subtle way that doesn't involve raging.

Experiences / Stories welcome to get a better picture of this very insidious creature!

Interesting read: http://gettinbetter.com/waif.html

My friend, this is what happens, they get you hooked in through this, and all the while they're doing other things like sleight of hand getting you dopamine hooked on them. Its SO difficult to next a BPD, not because they're clingy but because you are. If you're aware of it now, either lay down the law rick reynold's style, or get out.

I have this exact same girl, I've gone NC for almost 2 weeks now, it's almost nothing, but its giving me some sense of perspective. But within me is a hope that she will say "i love you", and we could be together, I can't ignore or deny that hope - I just know its not gonna happen.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

So she's quite possibly BPD but she definitely works with you.

So...she could potentially wreck you psychologically AND ruin your source of income should you get involved with her?

I dealt with a BPD a few years back (really cute girl too) and after turning on a dime the way that she did, my brain could not process her the same way any longer - I only saw the monster from that point onward, not the sweet little Georgia peach. I actually feared for my life. She gave me the impression that she'd stab me while not looking, or slit my throat while sleeping. Read up on this all you want, but maintain your distance from these creatures.

 

[LondonTowers]

I know she is crazy and I have no intention of her getting inside my head or emotions. I am contracted to leave this job soon, so I was thinking I could bang her.. she has an incredible body. So there won't be any work repercussions.

She isn't the slit your throat crazy, but she is definitely the type that would swallow up a white knight and spit him out the other end in a mangled mess. The thing is, I am very aware of what she is doing, for her it is like a reflex, her only way to make someone care about her is by becoming the victim. So far I'm playing the white knight as an act, I really don't care about her.. I know exactly what the road ahead is and am sure she could destroy someone less well versed.

Anyway, I still find this fascinating, like I have a real life Waif BPD, going through all the cliche routines. I could bang her for the rest of eternity if I adopt an unavailable narcissist role with her.

 

[GS750]

Sounds like you like playing with fire. You're going to create a stalker haha.

 

[VladPatton]

Run as if your house is on fire! Which now that I think about it, just may be in the near future if you bang this nut.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

She isn't the slit your throat crazy, but she is definitely the type that would swallow up a white knight and spit him out the other end in a mangled mess.

I'd argue that may actually be a worse outcome. Some dudes aren't capable of shaking off that kind of baggage completely, bringing PTSD-esque paranoia into the next relationship (if they ever jump into another relationship to begin with)

I could bang her for the rest of eternity if I adopt an unavailable narcissist role with her.

This is akin to the pull-out method with the most fertile girl in the World. Ideally, you'd be able to rub one out (somewhere private of course) right before interacting with her, then approaching her with a completely clear head (yeah, pun)