Virtually No Experience

[masterofcoin]

I'm nearly 21 with little experience with women. I've never had a girlfriend before.
Hell, I've never really kissed a girl before. Those few women that I have pursued
ended in utter failure. It never bothered me in high school I guess because I thought it would just happen at some point. Now that I'm a little older I feel the pressure since I
should have some experience under my belt by now and I know that good **** doesn't
jus t happen; You have to make it happen. I'd just like some advice to help me in the
right direction.

 

[gravityeyelids]

If it makes you feel any better... While you are behind the curve in the sense that you are 21 and by that time many people have lost their virginity, had a girlfriend, etc... The fact that you found this site at 21 bodes very well for the possibility that within the next year or two you could easily surpass those people in terms of experience if you're willing to work at it and learn from the people here.

You're going in the right direction. Read the DJ Bible, the Book of Pook to start out with. Some other books i'd recommend... 60 years of challenge, Conquer Your Campus (if you're in college), a few more i cant think of now

I would browse this Don Juan Discussion forum which you're already at, as well as look at the Don Juan Tips section. I mean there's a lot to get into in terms of a starting point...aside from the "game" stuff and the theory and reading material, the most obvious things that get said are to being working out if you haven't already... start becoming actively more social, meet people, go out more... work on your appearance and grooming, read up on style/fashion and get some new clothes/cologne/shoes/accessories if you can afford it, nice haircut, etc.

 

[masterofcoin]

Well, I do know that I need to be more social. I'm a more shy socially reserved type of individual. I really don't go out of my way to interact with other people which I know is something I need to work on, not just for attracting women, but other aspects of life. From what I've read, having confidence regularly pops up and I'm shaky on that. As I see it, it's hard for me to have confidence with women when I have no foundation for it. I'll have it but it's fleeting. I can't keep it consistently

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I'm nearly 21 with little experience with women. I've never had a girlfriend before.
Hell, I've never really kissed a girl before. Those few women that I have pursued
ended in utter failure. It never bothered me in high school I guess because I thought it would just happen at some point. Now that I'm a little older I feel the pressure since I
should have some experience under my belt by now and I know that good **** doesn't
jus t happen; You have to make it happen. I'd just like some advice to help me in the
right direction.

How is your social circle OP? Because it seems most people get laid or end up dating a person they meet through their social circle

 

[masterofcoin]

My social circle consists of pretty much all guys.

 

[Konada]

I was in the same situation as you awhile back. First thing to realize is that we're both 21 and have a great future ahead of us.

I'm telling you now that women are the lowest priority in your life right now. Chase your dreams, goals for success. Mold yourself into the confident person you want to be and naturally women will flock to you because of your status/charisma/looks whatever in the future. While other 21yos are drinking banging chicks left and right, I'm already starting my own business venture and have gotten decent success so far. I might get flak for this but I don't really care tbh.

Focus on the big picture - yourself.

Do you want to be the 35 year old trying to make ends meet? Or the 35 year old who is living in luxury?

 

[masterofcoin]

I do have that ambition except no direction for it. I have no idea what I want to do but I don't see why I can't do both

 

[Konada]

Of course you can do both. However your reply already says alot about yourself.

Drive and ambition.

Which high quality woman would want a man without drive and ambition?

As I said before, fundamentals/inner game is extremely important if you want to have consistent success not only with women but also in whatever you do. Focus on the big picture dude. You have a clear goal with how you want to proceed with the opposite sex but when it comes to shaping yourself you are lost as hell.

 

[Tomo]

Don't over think it my friend. I lost mine at 22 and I'm still atrocious with woman at times. Heck read a few of my stupid posts haha. Number 1 thing is focus. You said you have the ambition, now you have to have the mindset to really want to change.

The guys here taught me the most important thing and that was to start and do it by little things. Don't let the ego or impatience get in the way. Join a local hobby group with things you love doing. My biggest advice is to really work at expanding your social circle. It opens up so much more to be someone that is well known and can get invited to parties and hang outs.

Also be willing to laugh at yourself! You're gonna stuff up so many times and you continue to will. Its part of life - you grow and learn!

 

[masterofcoin]

Of course you can do both. However your reply already says alot about yourself.

Drive and ambition.

Which high quality woman would want a man without drive and ambition?

As I said before, fundamentals/inner game is extremely important if you want to have consistent success not only with women but also in whatever you do. Focus on the big picture dude. You have a clear goal with how you want to proceed with the opposite sex but when it comes to shaping yourself you are lost as hell.

Yeah, I'm definitely lost in how to shape myself. One thing I think I need to do is bring down the thoughts in my head and trust my gut more.

Don't over think it my friend. I lost mine at 22 and I'm still atrocious with woman at times. Heck read a few of my stupid posts haha. Number 1 thing is focus. You said you have the ambition, now you have to have the mindset to really want to change.

The guys here taught me the most important thing and that was to start and do it by little things. Don't let the ego or impatience get in the way. Join a local hobby group with things you love doing. My biggest advice is to really work at expanding your social circle. It opens up so much more to be someone that is well known and can get invited to parties and hang outs.

Also be willing to laugh at yourself! You're gonna stuff up so many times and you continue to will. Its part of life - you grow and learn!

Working on being more social is going to be a btch because I'm a naturally introverted person but, with baby steps, at first, I believe I can get there

 

[masterofcoin]

and if you think it will help, go see a hooker to pop your cherry and get it out of the way.

seriously. its no big deal.

just ask my man Rod

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hphwfq1wLJs

I have considered getting a prostitute haha. Part of me says "Why the hell not? Have some fun" but, then the other side of me says, my pride really, "You shouldn't have to resort to that. You should be able to get a woman to want to have sex with you without having to directly pay her for it".


By the way, good song

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I have considered getting a prostitute haha. Part of me says "Why the hell not? Have some fun" but, then the other side of me says, my pride really, "You shouldn't have to resort to that. You should be able to get a woman to want to have sex with you without having to directly pay her for it".


By the way, good song

Johnny Berba gives some excellent advice, as well as David Wygant

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I have considered getting a prostitute haha. Part of me says "Why the hell not? Have some fun" but, then the other side of me says, my pride really, "You shouldn't have to resort to that. You should be able to get a woman to want to have sex with you without having to directly pay her for it".


By the way, good song

maybe go to Vegas for that OP?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I feel for the OP wish i had better skills in my late teens and early 20's