Virgin girl - advice needed

[startover]

Hi all! This is my first post on this forum and I would like to ask u guys for an advice.

I have organised a very small party and have ended in bed with a girl from studies.
She told me that she has never had any boyfriend and that she is still a virgin (she is close to my age ~23yo but idk really).

It's weird as she is quite beautiful. When we were laying on bad, she told me that she likes me (romantically) and I hugged her and told her that I also like her the same way. Now I think that I was too quick with this, basically she got full control over the situation at that point.

From the books I have read in the past I can say, that at this point her dopaminergic system was lowering the release of endogenous psychostimulants.
But well, we were touching a lot eachother. I touched her everywhere including intimate parts, multiple times. But when I tried to take off her bikini or pants she wasn't allowing it. Afaik if it doesn't work from start, it never works. Because u get tolerance and the more u know each other the less tension you feel.

We had two more meetings with this boring soft things and now I don't know if I should continue this or focus more on other girls.
What would u guys do?

Regards

 

[Divorced w 3]

Give it a couple days, call her and ask her to go do something fun. If she’s not the type that’s going to drop her panties for you on day one she may need a couple dates to warm up to you.

 

[startover]

I see her almost everyday as she is with me in a single lecture group at studies.
I will wait for her move for a couple of days and suggest a meeting after lets say a week.

I think that I pushed her too much for sex, as I said to her that "I don't pursue girls that don't show full interest".
My feelings quickly fades if any girl starts doing these mixed signals, so technically I haven't lied to her but at that night she had deciding voice on this sex/no-sex thing, so probably it's over.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Why do you bother to ask if you already know what you’re going to do?

 

[startover]

To correct my plan if it's wrong
It's basically your advice adapted to my situation with more context details.

 

[Divorced w 3]

To correct my plan if it's wrong
It's basically your advice adapted to my situation with more context details.

Your first move was wrong. You had your hand in her pants, you should have given her an orgasm. Changes the dynamic entirely. Maybe she gives you a *******. I think she thinks you’re scared of her. She wasn’t giving you resistance, your actions are incongruent from someone who claims he ‘doesn’t pursue girls that don’t show full interest’. The woman literally gave you her body. You dropped the ball bud.

 

[startover]

I was touching her via her pants for a couple of minutes, she did not let me to take them off of her. I tried but she was stopping me. It's clear that I did something wrong here, you are right. But I wasn't scared at all, I was horny as hell - strong eye contact, a lot of touch. She wasn’t giving any resistance up to a certain point, then she had a problem.

 

[Divorced w 3]

‘I touched her intimate parts’…. So no you did not touch her intimate parts

you told her you were not into girls like her and now you’re going to try and follow up with her. Keep us posted

 

[startover]

‘I touched her intimate parts’…. So no you did not touch her intimate parts

Okay you are right. So just to be clear: I took all her clothing off of her besides bra and pants and I was touching her almost everywhere like belly, legs, head, boobs (via bra), *****&ass (via pants).

 

[startover]

I was touching her p**sy with my P for over an hour but we had pants unfortunately

 

[Divorced w 3]

I was touching her p**sy with my P for over an hour but we had pants unfortunately

You have to get them warmed up before you get yourself off.

Next time this happens with a prude, you do the following: you put your arm around her and grab her tits with that hand. You put your finger on her clyt over her panties and you start getting her off. When she gets going you bring her towards you and you make out with her. Then you move the hand under the panties and finish the job.

You always have to warm them up first.

 

[startover]

You always have to warm them up first.

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. So I've tried to jump too far without making her aroused enough.

Next time this happens with a prude, you do the following: you put your arm around her and grab her tits with that hand. You put your finger on her clyt over her panties and you start getting her off. When she gets going you bring her towards you and you make out with her. Then you move the hand under the panties and finish the job.

Thanks. You are right, I could've used a hand instead to not get too horny myself.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeah that makes a lot of sense. So I've tried to jump too far without making her aroused enough.


Thanks. You are right, I could've used a hand instead to not get too horny myself.

Any time

maybe call her up in a couple of days and invite her to Church

 

[BPH]

When we were laying on bad, she told me that she likes me (romantically) and I hugged her and told her that I also like her the same way.

This would've been where you should've kissed her.

As a matter of fact, did you kiss her? You describe touching her in a bunch of different places, but if you're just trying to take off her clothes when you haven't even moved past 1st base, it's gonna be incredibly awkward.

If you have been kissing her and are still getting this resistance, maybe you're realizing WHY she's a virgin.

Different people assign different weights to the act of losing one's virginity. I believe I've only taken one so far in my life, and the girl told me she was a virgin and that she wanted to lose it to me - and this was in college, during a party, when I had no intentions of being in a relationship, so I gave her plenty of outs and "are you sure?"'s. Pretty awful sex, too, so you're not missing out in that regard.

I say this because my advice would be to straight up ask her if she wants to lose it to you next time you're in a position with her like that, getting hot and heavy. Somebody who's never had sex or been in that position won't know how to act, so while it's a little less sexy to be so direct, it removes the pressure of not knowing what to do or what's going to happen next.

 

[startover]

Church

She is from religious family afaik but she is not very into religion. I guess that her virginity at that age is a result of her introversion.

maybe call her up in a couple of days and invite her to Church

How about asking in person? Woudn't that be better than telephone?

As a matter of fact, did you kiss her?

Ah yes, I forgot to mention that, we were kissing a lot that night and after that night too (at university and in park).

I say this because my advice would be to straight up ask her if she wants to lose it to you next time you're in a position with her like that, getting hot and heavy. Somebody who's never had sex or been in that position won't know how to act, so while it's a little less sexy to be so direct, it removes the pressure of not knowing what to do or what's going to happen next.

I will keep this as plan B just in case @Divorced w 3 advice woudn't work for her.

 

[Divorced w 3]

She is from religious family afaik but she is not very into religion. I guess that her virginity at that age is a result of her introversion.


How about asking in person? Woudn't that be better than telephone?


Ah yes, I forgot to mention that, we were kissing a lot that night and after that night too (at university and in park).


I will keep this as plan B just in case @Divorced w 3 advice woudn't work for her.

Yes, I would ask her in person.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

But when I tried to take off her bikini or pants she wasn't allowing it.

Virgins do this sometimes. I wouldnt overthink it.

Afaik if it doesn't work from start, it never works.

Yes but there can be exceptions.

I don't know if I should continue this or focus more on other girls.

Does it have to be one or the other? Cant you keep seeing this girl while also keeping your options open?

What would u guys do?

I would keep seing her. If I didnt see any progress after seven weeks, I would ghost.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It could be that you haven’t timed your escalation well. She likes you but is not fully ready to take it to the next level yet; she may be nervous, emotional, trying to make things feel more serious, or she may simply need more comfort before sex. Sadly, the longer she stalls your advances, the harder it can become to maintain attraction, power, and momentum. That’s why the rule of thumb is usually “sooner is better.”

With that said, some hesitation is normal, especially if she’s inexperienced and first-time sex is a big deal for her. If you want things to progress, she needs to feel attracted to you, comfortable, and free from pressure. Keep things light and fun, and whenever she wants to stop, stop. The more genuinely okay you are with it, the more likely she is to trust you and eventually want to continue, because she feels you want sex but don’t desperately need it from her.

That also changes the dynamic. Instead of feeling pressured, she may start missing the feeling of being desired and begin pursuing you herself. What you should do is stop when she doesn't let you go any further and act disinterested, and 10 minutes later, often, the woman would start escalating again in the bedroom. After that tell her how attractive and feminine she looks, then become bolder and let go of any of your usual restraint. Usually, this is enough to move past any last-minute resistance like that.

 

[viking22]

If she's a virgin she's not going to sleep with you simply because you turned her on. Not being aroused enough is also unlikely to be what is holding her back.

Sooner is better clearly also doesn't apply to virgins. They operate on a different timeline. She will decide when she is ready and when she is ready she will let you know. So just be cool, take her on dates, be affectionate, and things will happen naturally.

But maybe also consider whether you do want to pursue this. It could get messy if you have no intention of being her boyfriend. She could get very attached. You are at college so there are plenty of other girls who are a lot more free and easy with their bodies.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@startover "She told me that she has never had any boyfriend and that she is still a virgin (she is close to my age ~23yo but idk really)"

Are you all Mormons, Wahabis, Orthodox H-e-s... What, exactly? Tread carefully here. Probabilities of finding yourself the target of a (dis)honor killing, should you successfully boff this chick, are stronger than Joe Rogan's affinity for steroids