Wutang this is for you:
Maybe it's just me but in the few posts I've read from you you seem to have this ingrained victim mentality that oozes out in weird ways. I'd describe your beliefs as thus: I'm going to try hard with what I got but I've been dealt a terrible hand by God (ie. I'm short and ugly) and so it's actually impossible for girls to be attracted to me. I'll die alone.
First of all, if I'm right about the way you think the second part of your mindset completely cancels out any good in the first part. What you need to do is to stop thinking of your appearance as something that is completely out of control and is hideous to everyone around you. When you feel hideous in your mind your body language, face, posture, even your health starts to reflect that over time. Realize that by having a frame of mind that you are an attractive, sociable man who people want to be around you can start to become that way. I'm sure you've experienced something like this with cocaine. I haven't personally taken any but I know several people who started getting laid like nuts why they started doing blow.
What changed? It wasn't their 'appearance' per se, it was their appearance. "What are you saying?" Your mindset is more powerful than a lot of people would have you believe. When you have that rush of dopamine, that surge of confidence, feeling like you're the **** and no one can touch you, people fvcking respond. You look different because of the way you hold yourself, your voice tonality, your fearlessness, your joy. People can feel it, and they want to be around it.
This is going to sound like the hokiest piece of advice but you really just got to have that much belief sometimes, and do it without cocaine. Like the guy talking about his 'James Dean' friend: guaranteed he has that mindset that draws people to him and makes them want to be around him. You don't need to be a male model to have that mind set.
Here's some things you can do to increase your confidence:
Hit the gym. Transforming your body into something amazing will change the way you feel about how in control you are of your looks. If you stick with it you will see results and you will feel great about yourself for committing to loving your body in this way.
You should also say and write out affirmations to yourself everyday. It sounds dumb but it's surprisingly effective when you believe that they work and you force yourself to believe that they are true...and you do them EVERY SINGLE DAY WITHOUT FAIL.
At the same time work on always have confident, unapologetic posture and body language and a usually cheerful disposition. Walk and talk with confidence and belief in yourself. If you do this consistently over time it will also change the way you feel about your self-worth because as much as that communicates to others, it communicates it more to yourself.
Realize that all the things I just listed above are really changes in your lifestyle, some of which require only a few minutes a day, but all of which require two things to be effective: BELIEF AND CONSISTENCY.
This isn't a quick fix man. You will be doing these things for the rest of your life and you will love yourself for it because you will start to open your eyes to your true potential and it will feel incredible.
I don't want to hear you crying anymore. It would be awesome if you just left this board then came back in five years and talked about the incredible results you've had. Imagine it, drink it in. How amazing your body is, how much more confident you are, how invincible you feel with women, all of the success you've had in life and how much happier you are: These are the things you can be posting about if you put the effort into changing your life.
