Dongfu
Banned
- Joined
- May 22, 2007
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Viagra: Crack for Old Men
Why oh why on earth is there a market for Viagra? According to this report, 16 million men have tried Viagra. At first, men tried the drug because they labored under the delusion that it would make them sexual Olympians, but alas, it only helps men with erectile dysfunction. Now that we're at it, any time someone uses a euphemism like "erectile dysfunction," they are attempting to cover up an ugly reality. Men with erectile dysfunction are impotent, which also conveys the unpleasant meaning of "powerless."
Viagra is covered under Bush's new prescription drug policy because it is "necessary." According to the Erectile Dysfunction Institute, 1 in 10 men suffers from the ailment. The $60,000 question is, "Why do men suffer from impotence?" One answer is that these men have physiological problems caused by heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, and the accompanying medications for these diseases. How many of these physiological causes of impotence could be cured by proper fitness? But the number one answer on the David Letterman countdown is, "Men are impotent because they have sex with old women!"
We have seen it so often that we are accustomed to it, but there is nothing more hideous than a man responding sexually to an old woman. The situation is even worse if this is the same hag he has been screwing for the last forty years. But the marriage racket is nothing more than a castle made of brittle cards that would collapse in an instant if the truth were known --it is an abomination for a man to have sex with an old crone. So the vast propaganda machinery of marriage must spring into full gear, working overtime to sell the notion that once shallow mind-blowing sex fades away it is replaced by something even better, "mature love." So, yes, long before your 50th wedding anniversary your sex life has become little more than the vestigial hand on a whale or the third eye on a tuatara lizard, but it has supposedly been supplanted by a more profound spiritual union. (Note, whenever you hear the word "spiritual" check your wallet and look for the exit.)
If you're an old man about to revisit the same withered husk, I suggest something better than Viagra --give your better half (century) a date rape drug, and have her slip it into your prune juice. This way you will go to sleep and wake with a vague, uneasy feeling reminiscent of Rosemary's Baby--something evil in its mind-numbing ugliness has happened to you in your sleep, but at least you'll be able to keep down your dinner.
I have a 65 year old friend who tells me, "I don't need Viagra." What is his secret? He has sex with 19 year olds. If Bob Dole had a 19 year old nubile chick in bed, he wouldn't need his "little blue friend." The obvious truth, as they say in the Philippines, is "Even the old carabao likes the fresh green grass." Yet the upside down reality we live in has made the old man with the young woman the sick soul. Society regards as "normal" the ageing man who is supposedly attracted to the same animated corpse with whom sex was already monotonous several decades ago. So these brainwashed men bat nary an eye as they stand alongside Bill Clinton who comments on an eons-old Incan mummy, "You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy." Once you start having sex with geriatric women, you're on the slippery slope to necrophilia. (And if you're married to Hillary, that may not be such a bad thing.)
So step up to the plate and be a pimp. Buck the system and say out loud, "I am not crazy: I prefer young women to old women."
Why oh why on earth is there a market for Viagra? According to this report, 16 million men have tried Viagra. At first, men tried the drug because they labored under the delusion that it would make them sexual Olympians, but alas, it only helps men with erectile dysfunction. Now that we're at it, any time someone uses a euphemism like "erectile dysfunction," they are attempting to cover up an ugly reality. Men with erectile dysfunction are impotent, which also conveys the unpleasant meaning of "powerless."
Viagra is covered under Bush's new prescription drug policy because it is "necessary." According to the Erectile Dysfunction Institute, 1 in 10 men suffers from the ailment. The $60,000 question is, "Why do men suffer from impotence?" One answer is that these men have physiological problems caused by heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, and the accompanying medications for these diseases. How many of these physiological causes of impotence could be cured by proper fitness? But the number one answer on the David Letterman countdown is, "Men are impotent because they have sex with old women!"
We have seen it so often that we are accustomed to it, but there is nothing more hideous than a man responding sexually to an old woman. The situation is even worse if this is the same hag he has been screwing for the last forty years. But the marriage racket is nothing more than a castle made of brittle cards that would collapse in an instant if the truth were known --it is an abomination for a man to have sex with an old crone. So the vast propaganda machinery of marriage must spring into full gear, working overtime to sell the notion that once shallow mind-blowing sex fades away it is replaced by something even better, "mature love." So, yes, long before your 50th wedding anniversary your sex life has become little more than the vestigial hand on a whale or the third eye on a tuatara lizard, but it has supposedly been supplanted by a more profound spiritual union. (Note, whenever you hear the word "spiritual" check your wallet and look for the exit.)
If you're an old man about to revisit the same withered husk, I suggest something better than Viagra --give your better half (century) a date rape drug, and have her slip it into your prune juice. This way you will go to sleep and wake with a vague, uneasy feeling reminiscent of Rosemary's Baby--something evil in its mind-numbing ugliness has happened to you in your sleep, but at least you'll be able to keep down your dinner.
I have a 65 year old friend who tells me, "I don't need Viagra." What is his secret? He has sex with 19 year olds. If Bob Dole had a 19 year old nubile chick in bed, he wouldn't need his "little blue friend." The obvious truth, as they say in the Philippines, is "Even the old carabao likes the fresh green grass." Yet the upside down reality we live in has made the old man with the young woman the sick soul. Society regards as "normal" the ageing man who is supposedly attracted to the same animated corpse with whom sex was already monotonous several decades ago. So these brainwashed men bat nary an eye as they stand alongside Bill Clinton who comments on an eons-old Incan mummy, "You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy." Once you start having sex with geriatric women, you're on the slippery slope to necrophilia. (And if you're married to Hillary, that may not be such a bad thing.)
So step up to the plate and be a pimp. Buck the system and say out loud, "I am not crazy: I prefer young women to old women."
