Very Very Very Important

[Get Busy Livin']

Okay, I need some serious honest help. My mother died a little while ago, and I am having a VERY hard time coping. For all of my life to date, I have never had any brothers or sisters, and my father is divorced form her for as long as I can remember. Because of this our bond was immense, amazingly tight. The only family I have ever known, has been me, my mother, my nan, and my grandad. I will need to live with my nan & grandad from now on as I HATE my father and haven't seen him in over ten years.

I know that everybody gets sad, but this is making me feel suicidal, literally (I've came VERY close to it already), and I am afraid that if I do not get any help soon, I will end up taking my own life. I don't have a very strong bond with my nan and we don't get on very well, my grandad is the only person now, who I feel I have a true relationship with. He is getting old and he is also getting ill lately, I don't think he can stay alive for much longer going by how he's been going for the last year or so.

I simply could NOT go into care, and nor would I want to. I haven't been with my mum for about 6 weeks now, and I am just as sad as day one of this. My nan and grandad have already started picking up a bit. But I still feel terrible.

I know coucilling is an option but it is an idea I absolutely hate! Is there anything which I can do? Or have any of you been in a similar situation yourself?

 

[PhatE1vis]

If you're suicidal, you absolutely must seek help even if you don't like it. THIS IS YOUR LIFE we're talking about. Get on the phone and get some help now.

At the very least, seek out a discussion board that handles these topics. You'll find other people in the same boat.

Go now, don't wait.

 

[basbhat]

Yeah man, you need to talk to someone about this, someone who can "take you out of yourself" and help you see the bigger picture. I too have lost very important people to me the past few years(father, grandmothers) and it is always a shock. You need to confront yourself head on. Thoughts of suicide are escapist, but at least you are being honest with yourself. You'll work through it one way or another. If you run from it, it will chase you...If you face it, it will run away. It is not going to be easy. Accept it and observe it as best you can.

As far as the value of your life without these persons in your life goes, you will find meaning where you see it. Death is as natural as birth, and is life itself. This is a time for you to become AWARE of yourself in this world, and when you come out of this time, you will have grown immensely and will truly understand yourself in relation to your suffering. Find someone you can talk to, and work through this difficult time. It will all be ok.

 

[Get Busy Livin']

Thank you for your kind support guys.

 

[theunflushables]

Yeah, you should talk to a psychologist. I've been to that brink as well. Its a really dark place to be. If it wasnt for the support I got, god knows if I would still be here. But just try to keep your head up and take it one day at a time. Its going to be tough for awhile. But there will be a time when it gets better.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I am guessing you are in the UK? Toward the bottom of this link are several organizations you can contact for help:

http://survive.org.uk/suicide.html

If that does not help, one of the links here will:

http://dmoz.org/Health/Mental_Health/Disorders/Suicide/Support_Groups/

 

[Monkey]

I'm sure your mum would want you to live life with happyness and strive forward with confidence to achieve everything you can be.

Do this for yourself and her.

 

[just so suave]

This site can help you but i dont know what articles to read sorry, perhaps some other djs know??

I recommend finding your father and meeting him though, its been 10 years, people change, you could find happiness in him, what have you got to lose from speaking to him?

Good luck friend, look to your future, you can still be very happy within time.

 

[Get Busy Livin']

Thanks much again. I found Bible Belt's post particularly helpful aswell as unflushables. You are all very understanding.

 

[intel123]

you should go to church and pray

 

[Get Busy Livin']

you should go to church and pray

Good suggestion but I am really un-religious.

 

[Skel]

As bad as you have it. Someone always has it worse.

 

[funketekun]

my friend did the same thing...he was 25 and he shot himself...cause his parents died.

 

[ChrizZ]

My father almost died today in a horrible car accident. That scared the sh!t out of me...

 

[WhitePimp]

Man, I can honestly say if my mom died, the last thing she would want me to do afterwards is end my life. She'd want me to flourish as a man and grow to live my dreams, and start my own family, so that when I die, I leave behind a legacy that I am so proud of, as she did with me.

You're going through a tragic time. I hope you get through it man...do it for her and your grandpa.

 

[Quiksilver]

If you were to kill yourself, you'd render your mother's life meaningless. All the effort and energy put into having/raising you would have been for nothing.

Show her that her efforts were not in vain, and that you can be the biggest mack daddy in the world

good luck, death is not an easy thing to live with.

---

I lost a family member in May, and it was a very dark time. The very worst part, that still brings me to tears, was that no one was around when he was dying after the accident.

Yet through it I know that he would want the best for me in life, and that it's my duty to try my bloody hardest to make him proud.

 

[Analytic]

I feel for you, loosing a family members is one of the hardest thing a person have to go through. You will come out of this a much stronger person. Hang tough, time will heal everything.

 

[Get Busy Livin']

Quiksilver: "If you were to kill yourself, you'd render your mother's life meaningless. All the effort and energy put into having/raising you would have been for nothing."


----


That sounds so much like something she would have said to me too. I just wish my dad wasn't an abusive drunken b******, and could be around to give me the support I need. I just don't feel close enough to anybody else at the moment.

My grandad has and always will be my favourite man in our family, and I love him to bits, and he loves me too, but I wish he would show it more. I need someone like that more than anything at this moment. I am also finding the "DailyStrength" website very helpful as there are people on it just like me.

 

[naes420]

as much as people say counciling does not help it does

i went to drug counceling becuase i was adicted to marijuana a while back (dont listen to anyone hwen u smoked like me it was an addiction AND IT IS ADDICTIVE!!) and it helped me get my life together..i still smoke weed but i taught me to do it in moderation and to not hurt people around me


what im saying is couceling is a viable option

 

[Get Busy Livin']

Naes420, can you help talk me through what it is like? Does the guy just chat to you about things or is there more involved?