Very odd female behavior - need insight

[bigmil]

Ok I'm trying to figure this chick out. usually girls respond to me in a very predictable way. It goes something like this:

1. Meet girl , secure date
2. Maintain contact at slow frequency for a few weeks to build interest
3. Girl starts to communicate more and more frequently over successive dates
4. Girl is hooked - everything is easy from there on out

For most of my life this has been the natural order of my relationships. this chick I'm dealing with now has completely thrown me for a loop and I'm having trouble making sense of it.

The first date, we stayed out till the bar closed and ended up back at my place with heavy make out no sex.

Second date same thing but escalated physical.

Third date same thing.

She's not texting me much or calling just to chat. she told me its ok for me to date other girls and that she is dating other guys. This is fine since we just met. I don't expect exclusivity at all. BUT, most girls either assume exclusivity or push hard for it from the get go.

I feel like one of two things are going on here:

1. She has a low IL.
2. She has a defense mechanism where she hesitates to feel emotionally connected too soon.

If it's low IL then why does she continue to agree to dates and get physical? I don't get it. There's signs of low IL but there are also signs of potential high IL.

WTF? This is a weird one! any insight would be appreciated!

Further background info - she is an optometrist and has a nice house and car and seems very independent. My income level is comparable and I don't feel intimidated by her position or career. Just trying to make sense. The idea of low IL hurts..

 

[yuppaz]

She's a different animal - she's a party girl that's being honest about hooking up with lots of guys. Your ego doesn't like that she's not even trying to hide that fact and that (to her) you are no special butterfly. If you want to be a special butterfly, date someone else. This one is probably over the idea of old fashion relationships.

 

[drellum]

Ok I'm trying to figure this chick out. usually girls respond to me in a very predictable way. It goes something like this:

1. Meet girl , secure date
2. Maintain contact at slow frequency for a few weeks to build interest
3. Girl starts to communicate more and more frequently over successive dates
4. Girl is hooked - everything is easy from there on out

For most of my life this has been the natural order of my relationships. this chick I'm dealing with now has completely thrown me for a loop and I'm having trouble making sense of it.

The first date, we stayed out till the bar closed and ended up back at my place with heavy make out no sex.

Second date same thing but escalated physical.

Third date same thing.

She's not texting me much or calling just to chat. she told me its ok for me to date other girls and that she is dating other guys. This is fine since we just met. I don't expect exclusivity at all. BUT, most girls either assume exclusivity or push hard for it from the get go.

I feel like one of two things are going on here:

1. She has a low IL.
2. She has a defense mechanism where she hesitates to feel emotionally connected too soon.

If it's low IL then why does she continue to agree to dates and get physical? I don't get it. There's signs of low IL but there are also signs of potential high IL.

WTF? This is a weird one! any insight would be appreciated!

Further background info - she is an optometrist and has a nice house and car and seems very independent. My income level is comparable and I don't feel intimidated by her position or career. Just trying to make sense. The idea of low IL hurts..

I have had a similar situation to this and it threw me too.

First date: met, had a good time at the bar, stayed until it closed and she invited herself back to mine. Had sex.

Then quite a few irregular meet ups of the same but resisting any sort of a commitment.

She earns double what I earn.....but that's ok.

Now we are FB's and that is ok too. Suits both of us!

 

[samspade]

You're one of her plates but not her "A" plate. You're "B" or "C."

 

[DJDamage]

You're one of her plates but not her "A" plate. You're "B" or "C."

Yep, she is probably getting drilled by some other plate (the sex is being taken care of) but maybe he won't commit so she is also keeping her options open.

 

[TonyBaloney]

The idea of low IL hurts..

What the hell is going on here today????

Second post i've read where a guy sayc"it hurts" because of low IL.

So the f uck what if thre is low IL.

Just next it man.....are you worried you'll never meet another woman os something???????????

 

[bigmil]

LOL that's what I need to hear. Kinda pisses me off but whatever. And this chick isn't really that hot either. I feel like I should be the A plate!

 

[Desdinova]

LOL that's what I need to hear. Kinda pisses me off but whatever. And this chick isn't really that hot either. I feel like I should be the A plate!

If you want to become the A plate, you need to be more interesting than the other guys she's seeing. Think about the typical AFC (and even a more confident AFC), try some things out on her, and you'll be able to figure out what she's missing from the other guys she's seeing. She could be lacking any of the following:

- Genuine concern for her
- Fantastic sex
- Excitement
- Emotional fluctuation
- A confident man

There's probably a bunch of others I can't think of right now, but many AFCs are missing those traits. While continuing to do what you've been doing, pick one of these traits, figure out how to implement it into your date, and see how she reacts to it. If you get no change in her behavior, try focusing on a different trait.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Bigmil, your under cutting yourself man. You don't see yourself as an alpha male and you need to work on your game. By saying you feel you should be her "A plate" is you saying you feel she should want a BMW when she wants a Mercedes.

You need to be the jack of all traits, have a royal flush up your sleeves.

Women like mystery, excitement, suspense, a bad a$$ who can also be a nice guy. You have to think about it and see where you're lacking.

Most guys like a challenge, this will help you improve your game. It's not too late.