Very late bloomer...needing advice

[nightcrawler]

I've always been a "lone wolf" and kept to myself, but as I get older I realize that I want more from life. I've finally realized that dwelling in my loneliness and feeling sorry for myself is not good for my health and is not going to get me where I want to be.

The place I want to be has lots of hot chicks in it.

I'm 20 and never had a girlfriend or sexual experience. Back when I was 17-19 I had girls after me before never persued them because of my insecurities. But as I grow older the crowd gets more serious (and intimidating)..people seem so experienced and "well-lived".

I just wanna live a little bit but don't know how. I've started buying new clothes to appear more likeable, been studying harder than usual and begun to do some working out.

The girl part seems to be the most complicated though.

I guess not really seeking anything, I've read some of the threads and the answers are the same. I guess I just wanted to vent a bit.

Underaged girls (15 and 16) seem to love me..but I don't get the same reaction from girls in my own age group.

Any of you late bloomers? how'd you get over it? I really can't continue living like I do it's pathetic

 

[ChrizZ]

Study the game and go out 4 nights a week for two years...

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Hello and welcome to the Don Juan forums! You know, 20 isn't really a 'late bloomer'. I guess it depends how you look at it. I myself didn't find this site until I was 21, and I'm 26 now and my game is still not 'perfect'.

I think when you've been an afc for all your teenage/high school/college life, that bugs you. But you can make up for all that. You're still only 20, and you have years and years ahead to correct this, to better yourself, to become the man you truly want to be, and to make up for the pain of your teenage years as an afc.

Start with a change of attitude. Stop seeing yourself as a 'late bloomer' and realise that the future is a blank, clean slate to designed exactly as you want it.

First get happy within yourself by creating a life that you're happy with - eg career, hobbies, life goals, dreams, ambitions. Basically have a passion/purpose/something to live for that makes you excited and happy and fulfilled within yourself. You'll exude postive energy to the world when you have this - and equally if you DON'T you'll be negative.... For me my passion is rock music and playing guitar, you must decide what YOUR passion is....

Next get a plan of action for conquering your problems with getting girls. It sounds like you need to start from scratch. So dress the best you can and make the best of your looks. Then start going out and saying 'hi' to girls and seeing if you can get eye contact and a smile from girls you fancy.

Then start having conversations with girls you like. Keep doing this until you are feeling more comfortable and until you are getting better responses from girls.

Then start asking for numbers or better still ask the girl you're talking to to join you for a cup of coffee there and then.

Get good at these basic skills.

Then get comfortable kissing girls you take for coffee.

Then once you can do that, get comfortable taking girls to a location where you can be alone with her and can escalte to sex....

It's all a gradual, one step at a time process....you're not too old....count yourself lucky you're not a bad, fat 50 year old man, you're only 20! Not get to it!

 

[CanuckinSK]

I wouldn't really call you a late bloomer at all. A lot of guys have limited experience well into their 20's, and sometimes beyond (like me ) You still have many, many years left to hone your dating skills.

At least you're recognizing that you're not satisfied with your situation, and taking active steps to change it.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

I can barely grow facial hair, I still have mild success. Read the forums, and don't get TOO caught up in what's said here. There's a lot of useful stuff, but a lot of garbage posters, learn to weed out what advice, theories, and thoughts are good, and you'll find success.

Lastly, be prepared for a long road, this **** doesn't happen over night.

 

[nightcrawler]

Yeah I've just read a article and was impressed, specially with the nice guy situations.

I've never been in that position but at least I am warned.

Guess I just gotta be a "man"..

 

[superchristx]

I was a late bloomer, lost my virginity at 22. I'm only 24 now but I consider myself a hound-dog. Sure I'm not a DJ like a lot of the guys here, but I can keep my cool around girls and sometimes talk them into bed. It wasn't easy, at first I had to force myself to initiate conversations with girls, sticking to the rules found on this site, like never confess your attraction or pay them compliments. Always play it 'too cool for school' and never give them a straight answer or ask them a sincere question.

Somebody always posts "get the rest of your life in order, get hobbies and six-pack abs and self-esteem, and then get girls" I think that's pretty stupid when all you want is the girls. At 20, you could/should be in college. Not to tell you how to live your life, but you said you wanted to be in a place with lots of girls and college is IT. A job in a restaurant, just part-time, will put a lot more girls in your immediate vicinity too. It's hard to sarge on strangers, much easier to get girls in a situation where you're already acquainted, but not yet friends. So that's my advice, start hanging out in the mall, at the movies, wherever girls congregate in your area. You say you get good responses from minors, that's fine. Practice on young girls (you can even fook them!) and learn to talk to women, just blah-blah-blah. Once you have that you're golden.