"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Very good looking - but they don't approach me

ghost28

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they said being good looking helps, well not really. I model, and not 1 girl has asked me out. If I smile at them, they will smile. But not one HB has approached me.

I never ask girls out, I always wait for them to ask me... but it isn't happening.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Le Parisien

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Maybe it's your attitude...
:confused:

Oh and some times people think they are good looking when they actually are NOT. How about posting your picture so we can see if you are really that good looking as you say...
:D

And one last thing, it's normally the guy's job to approach, the girls who are interested will simply make your job easier.
 

LiveStrong

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hahahaha what a joke....it doesnt matter how good lookin' the player is if the player cant play the game. Get over yourself, find your **** and try approaching for once....dont be a ***** and expect them to approach you..the only approaches you'll ever get following this attitude will come from really drunk girls..who any AFC could tap....
What I am wondering is why you continue to try sh!t that doesn't work.."I never ask girls out, I always wait for them to ask me... but it isn't happening."......like you said it isn't happening...

So have you learned anything yet?
 

Holland

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Well, if they smile, why don't you approach them?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ghost28

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You idiot. Just because they smile doesn't mean anything. If a fat chick smiled at me, I would smile back. Does that mean I'm interested? No.
 

Wiesman44

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1) You're not THAT great looking. Good looking guy, but nothing mind blowing.


2) You are very scrawny. I bodybuild so I can tell you are ripped, but ripped with no muscle. Who cares how ripped u are if you are skin and bones.

Girls usually (But not always) like guys that have some muscle on them, b/c its a feeling of security for them.

Bulk up like 20 lbs, and I'm sure you'll have more success.

3) You seem kinda short. I could be wrong though. You look about 5'9. Height helps a LOT. I know all the short guys are going to go nuts for that statement, but let me just say that it HELPS, its not the be all and end all. Just means you probably won't be getting girls approach you.

4) Why would u want girls approaching u ? You wont get any hot girls, just mainly the desperate ones I'd think, b/c thats the type of girl that approaches me and I have a better physique than u and roughly the same in looks wise.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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msg

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i've often been turned down for better looking guys, so unfortunatley there is a lot of truth to that, you have to take care of yourself and look the best that you can be in all situations, it's possible for most guys to look like a 7 for instance if they take care of themselves, to get from a 7 to an 8, 9 or 10 is hard work but its very easy to go from 7 to 5, 4, 3, 2 or 1 very very easily

everyone wants to be with someone who is hotter than they are even a hb7 is after a 9 or 10, because girls can always offer up sex as their trump card

the more you've got going for you the better: looks, confidence, sense of humor and it helps to be rich, a celebrity or a prince too but we can only work with what we've got

if you have your game together you should be trying to emulate these things anyways through peacock theory, using social proof / pivots and conveying scarcity, etc

it's not that one is better than the other, it's all good, if your going into a fight do you want to be the one with the machine gun or the one with the machine gun, and a few grenades, and some hand to hand combat skills, and a knife, and maybe a tank or helicopter for back up?
 

In2theGame

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Originally posted by ghost28
they said being good looking helps, well not really. I model, and not 1 girl has asked me out. If I smile at them, they will smile. But not one HB has approached me.

I never ask girls out, I always wait for them to ask me... but it isn't happening.
Like i say all the time....... They are scared to talk to you. Im 100% positive that what goes through their mind is the following........"Hes hot/cute/good looking,..... oh well,... He wouldnt like me anyway, He prolly has a G/F or something" See what im saying? They assume right off the bat that u dont find them attractive or their not attractive enough...
 

knglerxt

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Re: Re: Very good looking - but they don't approach me

Originally posted by In2theGame
Like i say all the time....... They are scared to talk to you. Im 100% positive that what goes through their mind is the following........"Hes hot/cute/good looking,..... oh well,... He wouldnt like me anyway, He prolly has a G/F or something" See what im saying? They assume right off the bat that u dont find them attractive or their not attractive enough...

I wish there were some way to test this theory. It would explain a lot. The thing is, though, it's impossible to know exactly what someone is thinking. Of course, you can guess, but it's not certain that you'll be right.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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tmpgstx

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Hello kng, from my experience it's more fact then speculation. The more insecure the girl is about herself and the more she finds you attractive, the less she will pursue you.

This is a key difference i stress between guys and girls. Guys have no problem being around an HB10 in their book - none at all. Girls are different though, they need that comfort level. This is why many go after the male equivalent of themselves. She has Tats so is attracted to guys with Tats. She smokes so is attracted to guys that smoke. Women are more like this on a *relational* level, whereas guys couldn't give a rat's ass. If she smokes and you want to bang her, then that doesn't phase you. You'll feel comfortable enough not having enough in common even on the surface level.

For girls is more about *relating* from the top down. Even if she's just the typical tramp, she still qualifies you in that she will not get attached to you and you will not get attached her. For her it has to be about sex and attachment avoidance. It's due to her deep insecurities about herself and sex is the void that fills it.
 

Jariel

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I think it may give the wrong impression to say women approach me, as in cold approach me, but I generally get women make things easy for me. I get a lot of women who make conversation with me when the chance is there (phatic communication) rather than come out of nowhere with a ream of chat up lines. But as we're chatting, they'll drop a compliment, let me know they're single, maybe even invite me out with her and her friends, but the rest is upto me.

Even if you're fantastic looking and women approach out of nowhere, you can't just sit back and expect them to give you a number and ask you out. You have to reciprocate and flirt.
 

Jariel

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Re: Re: Very good looking - but they don't approach me

Originally posted by In2theGame
Like i say all the time....... They are scared to talk to you. Im 100% positive that what goes through their mind is the following........"Hes hot/cute/good looking,..... oh well,... He wouldnt like me anyway, He prolly has a G/F or something" See what im saying? They assume right off the bat that u dont find them attractive or their not attractive enough...
Also very true. I have had this happen many times and I know this because the women eventually told me they were too scared to talk to me or just assumed I couldn't see them that way.

One girl said she had deep feelings for me and when I flirted with her, she thought I was making fun of her because a guy like me couldn't possibly like a girl like her. Many girls do think this way and sadly. So do many guys!
 

Shiftkey

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Re: Re: Re: Very good looking - but they don't approach me

Originally posted by knglerxt
I wish there were some way to test this theory. It would explain a lot. The thing is, though, it's impossible to know exactly what someone is thinking. Of course, you can guess, but it's not certain that you'll be right.
There is a way to test it. Approach the damn woman yourself. If she's happy you approached, you'll know.
 

john_1234

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i used to feel the same way. that i'd just chill and girls would initiate. you'll be single a very long time if you hold this mentality
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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