Very frustrating evening

[synergy1]

you'll get it. you have a good outlook and the right framework in place for success. Don't expect it to happen over night, as good change takes time. Be patient. in 5+ years, you won't even recognize yourself and believe me...its great.

all the best

 

[Let's Get Real]

Both of these things are undoubtedly true. I despise not being good at something, and in the past, I have thought about things obsessively for a while and then mastered them (poker, aspects of sports I play, subjects in school I was less good at, general social skills like going to clubs and having fun etc etc). Does it get me down that I have skills -and, perhaps more significantly, have fun- in so many other areas but not with women? I'd be lying if I said it didn't.

The trick is to get better without caring... This mindset is so counterintuitive that I find it very challenging. I'll get there though- no matter what it takes.

You and I are very similar. Did you get good at poker and everything else because there is a love there or is the love only generated from proving that you can do it and from the results of success?

I only wanted a girlfriend to prove that I could be loved by a pretty woman. It meant to me that I was a success. How is your relationship with your parents?

 

[OnTheWayUp]

You and I are very similar. Did you get good at poker and everything else because there is a love there or is the love only generated from proving that you can do it and from the results of success?

I only wanted a girlfriend to prove that I could be loved by a pretty woman. It meant to me that I was a success. How is your relationship with your parents?

In response to your points:

1) I got good at poker because I wanted to make money, haha. Nah, you have a point: whilst I enjoy getting good at activities because I enjoy the activity itself, there is also a degree to which I get off on "success" more generally and the results of success. Most people who I know that are good at something are like this, I think.

2) I certainly don't ONLY want a gf to prove that I could be loved by a pretty woman. Firstly, I'm not even sure I want a gf at this stage- dating around and messing around with other people's "gfs" has opened my eyes to just how unsuitable most girls my age are to committed relationships. At the moment I just want to lose my virginity and have a bit of fun.

As I said in the OP, one of the reasons I was confused on Monday night was that I view myself as highly successful, and yet have trouble with girls. That is to say, in no way does my having a gf or not determine whether or not I view myself as a success. I just sometimes find it frustrating that I can do so many other things that most people can't and yet very "average" people have sex lives and I don't.

3) My relationship with my father is very very good. Okay, he's a classic beta male and in that sense a fairly poor masculine role model, but he's there for me and provides advice whenever I need him. I would trust him and value his judgement on just about every issue except girls.

My relationship with my mother is somewhat more rocky. She is by far and away the dominant force in my childhood home; her control over my father is so complete that I'm not sure he even notices this anymore. We are both extremely dominant personalities who like doing things our way, which inevitably leads to the occasional argument. When she's not emotionally charged with stress from work/ anything else, my mum can be a great sanding board for ideas. However, this is more the exception than the rule- most of the time she is fairly embittered and pessimistic.

Why do you ask?

 

[Packers2010]

Hi all,

I....

-am at one of the best universities in the world
-have a history of leadership in sport
-have a history of leadership in politics/ debating
-play in 5 different bands, one of which I have set up and run completely independently in my own time
-am an extremely competent and profitable poker player

.

what stakes you play? online offline and witch site?

 

[OnTheWayUp]

I play exclusively online SnGs at Pokerstars, Partypoker and PKR. Most of the stakes I play are around a $10 buy-in. I built up my bankroll from freerolls and have never deposited a penny of my own money.