"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Very Concerned for my newly wed friend

Roly

Senior Don Juan
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Hey guys I know I'm a bit too young to be posting on here, but I need some expert insights on this matter.

First of all, I think I may have a friend who freakin ruined his life. Even for a young, inexperience naive dude like myself I already see A LOT of Red flags.

This dude is 23 years old, barely graduated from college and got a job. A cool guy with a funny personality. But this dude has a history of over the top AFC behaviors ( running off with some chick in High School, oneitis chubby chasing, etc.) He met this girl who happened to be a stripper or dancer in some bar and dated her for only 5 to 7 months. During this time, I can already see the change happening with this guy. He stopped hanging out with the guys less often and making up these B.s. excuses why he couldn't attend. He started becoming more serious and more uptight. Just a freakin whipped AFC.

To make matters worse he got this chick pregnant before they got married, so this guy is totally screwed. He now has to get up at 3:30 in the morning five days a week so he can support her lazy ass. Man as a long time friend, I hate seeing this dude like this, he's only 23 years old and he should be having a blast.

It's times like these that I'm very thankful I found this site. :rockon: Is there any chance now this guy can be rescued or is he just going to have to learn his lesson the hard way?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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niceguydying

Don Juan
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I have a friend at work like this. He is 19 years old and dated a girl for a couple years and he married her a couple of months ago. I am pretty sure he was a virgin until a few months ago as well, hence he married his first piece. I am about to be divorced and I am technically old enough to be his father. I never tried dissuading him from marriage, but I did tell him he needs to think about it. I also advised him the women he marrys probably will not be the same women in future years. Of course he knows about my failed marriage. Sometimes you have to let friends learn the lesson the hard way as such in your friends case. Now he is gonna have excess baggage and he is TRAPPED! You my friend are still young and let this situation be a reminder too you of HOW NOT TO DO IT. In the future, your friend will be knocking at your door with his fuking heart ripped to shreds...
 

Bad_Lil'Pixie

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Roly said:
It's times like these that I'm very thankful I found this site. :rockon: Is there any chance now this guy can be rescued or is he just going to have to learn his lesson the hard way?
You can't fix what isn't broken and HE doesn't think he is broken, yet. You can smack him, call him a stupid as$, etc... He would just accuse you of being jealous of his stripper wife or take another lame road.

I say, let it go. He hasn't listened to you before, why would he start now?

You just have to decide what role you want to play when he hits the wall.
 

Scrumtulescence

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Man, the getting married part is one thing, but he's going to have a kid? He can kiss the rest of his youth goodbye. All you can do for your friend is pray for him...
 

Rollo Tomassi

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I hate to point out the obvious, but some people's lives are meant to serve as a warning for the rest of us. I could go into some long diatribe about how he got to where he is or what'll happen to him in the future, but the moral of this story is to avoid at all costs the same pit of quicksand this guy is now going down in.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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penkitten

Master Don Juan
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at our house
this guy has to learn things as he goes, and trust us all when we say he will. be glad you are wiser and can learn from the path hes taking that its not one you want to be taking.

i give you props for seeing what is going on, but your friend is stricken with the "love bug" right now and sees what he wants.

bless his little itty heart.
 

WestCoaster

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Despite millions of examples out there and millions of people to talk to who had shotgun weddings, or married too young and regretted it, people will do what they do without thinking. Basically the world is full of people who are dumb and act on impulse and emotion instead of thought.

There's nothing you can do, this guy is a moron, let him ruin his life.
 

romangod

Master Don Juan
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Roly said:
It's times like these that I'm very thankful I found this site. :rockon: Is there any chance now this guy can be rescued or is he just going to have to learn his lesson the hard way?

Unfortunately, he's going to have to learn his lesson the hard way. Either he'll get screwwed by a divorce or be a slave to her whims. He made a big mistake, the poor sucker.
 
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