johnca2010
Don Juan
Over the past few months, I've been out in the field, making tons of approaches and closing with a lot of women (ie sex). I've been closing 3 or 4 times per month, within the first or second date.
I've developed some tips and no-bull**** rules from the field:
*Be neutral. Be in control at all times. Never lose your cool. This applies to whether you are in the bar being ****-tested by a girl during an approach or when you've been getting to know a girl for a while. During the ****-tests, women will purposely try to incite your emotions. Basically, this is a test to see if you are as suave as you make yourself out to be. Someone truly in control will blow over the ****-tests, without being pissy or acting like a chump.
*Be congruent. Your actions need to reflect your internal state and your desires. Do not equivocate. Define what you want, and get it. The more congruent you are with your approaches and your dates, the more quickly the girl will naturally "follow" you. The idea of congruency is a core piece of my overall philosophy of being an individual, but this is a different discussion.
This is very important during the first date. For me, I am looking to get laid. I have clearly defined this, and I go into the date knowing that this is what I want. My actions illustrate this, and within an hour or two of hanging out, I suggest going back to my place. It is rare that the girl says no, and this is because I act with authority.
*Put yourself in uncomfortable positions. In order to grow, you need to push yourself. When you are in the field, take initiative. Approach sets that you consider "hard," for example. The harder the set appears to be, the more you should want to approach it and open it up. The more you practice this, the more confident you will become.
*Do not hesitate. Learn to begin acting through your internal desires, without the layers of barriers most people have that develop through a person's life (i.e. personal insecurities). This means approaching quickly, without worrying or thinking about what happens. You want to be as "natural" as possible. In order to get the girl caught up in the moment, YOU must be caught up in the moment. Seduction is about getting past our normal "rational" nature and getting into the world of FEEL. The more you stop hesitating, the more the girl will feel comfortable with you. Conversely, the more you "think" things through and try to forecast your moves, the more she will be uneasy around you, and this will lead her to lose (or never develop) that intense, sexual attraction for you. Learn to be a little wild. Sweep her off her feet by your intense, unrelenting energy. This applies to approaching as much as it does a first kiss, for example.
*Use words as "filler." This is related to the discussion earlier. You need to focus less on what exactly you are saying, and more HOW you are saying it. It helps to think about words as simply mechanisms to induce emotional reactions. Even something ridiculously banal can be turned into something seductive by the use of body language, tone, and projection. Begin to not worry about what is being said but HOW it is being said. This might take practice, and I would recommend that you begin to "re-train" yourself by testing different ways to express things. Pay special attention to how it affects her body language, eye movement, kino, etc. Over time, you will begin to notice patterns, and this will allow you to better EXPRESS your own identity.
Remember, being completely congruent is the ultimate goal. By being able to express yourself, you will appear more congruent. Being incongruous is the biggest mistake most guys make, and the most elusive. The reason is that a girl cannot put her finger on it, so it simply comes across as "I'm just not really attracted to him, I don't know why." These are just a few points that were in my mind, and I'd be happy to hear some other perspectives.
I've developed some tips and no-bull**** rules from the field:
*Be neutral. Be in control at all times. Never lose your cool. This applies to whether you are in the bar being ****-tested by a girl during an approach or when you've been getting to know a girl for a while. During the ****-tests, women will purposely try to incite your emotions. Basically, this is a test to see if you are as suave as you make yourself out to be. Someone truly in control will blow over the ****-tests, without being pissy or acting like a chump.
*Be congruent. Your actions need to reflect your internal state and your desires. Do not equivocate. Define what you want, and get it. The more congruent you are with your approaches and your dates, the more quickly the girl will naturally "follow" you. The idea of congruency is a core piece of my overall philosophy of being an individual, but this is a different discussion.
This is very important during the first date. For me, I am looking to get laid. I have clearly defined this, and I go into the date knowing that this is what I want. My actions illustrate this, and within an hour or two of hanging out, I suggest going back to my place. It is rare that the girl says no, and this is because I act with authority.
*Put yourself in uncomfortable positions. In order to grow, you need to push yourself. When you are in the field, take initiative. Approach sets that you consider "hard," for example. The harder the set appears to be, the more you should want to approach it and open it up. The more you practice this, the more confident you will become.
*Do not hesitate. Learn to begin acting through your internal desires, without the layers of barriers most people have that develop through a person's life (i.e. personal insecurities). This means approaching quickly, without worrying or thinking about what happens. You want to be as "natural" as possible. In order to get the girl caught up in the moment, YOU must be caught up in the moment. Seduction is about getting past our normal "rational" nature and getting into the world of FEEL. The more you stop hesitating, the more the girl will feel comfortable with you. Conversely, the more you "think" things through and try to forecast your moves, the more she will be uneasy around you, and this will lead her to lose (or never develop) that intense, sexual attraction for you. Learn to be a little wild. Sweep her off her feet by your intense, unrelenting energy. This applies to approaching as much as it does a first kiss, for example.
*Use words as "filler." This is related to the discussion earlier. You need to focus less on what exactly you are saying, and more HOW you are saying it. It helps to think about words as simply mechanisms to induce emotional reactions. Even something ridiculously banal can be turned into something seductive by the use of body language, tone, and projection. Begin to not worry about what is being said but HOW it is being said. This might take practice, and I would recommend that you begin to "re-train" yourself by testing different ways to express things. Pay special attention to how it affects her body language, eye movement, kino, etc. Over time, you will begin to notice patterns, and this will allow you to better EXPRESS your own identity.
Remember, being completely congruent is the ultimate goal. By being able to express yourself, you will appear more congruent. Being incongruous is the biggest mistake most guys make, and the most elusive. The reason is that a girl cannot put her finger on it, so it simply comes across as "I'm just not really attracted to him, I don't know why." These are just a few points that were in my mind, and I'd be happy to hear some other perspectives.
