Valentine's Day argument - advice needed

[OnTheWayUp]

Hi SS,

It's been a while since I last posted as I've been busy with career stuff and the gym. I've had an argument with my gf over Valentine's Day and am not sure how to proceed.

Context:

-Generally very good relationship, almost a year in duration.
-Her first sex, my first relationship
- Pros: Pretty (7), young (21), well-mannered, compliant girlfriend 95% of the time. Taught her about sex and helped her discover her own body. She's been very supportive of my degree and my work. She's clever, funny for a girl and makes decent conversation.
-Cons: she comes from a rich family so is sometimes entitled in her attitude, her family are very controlling of her, she fears confrontation with me or her parents so occasionally avoids explaining difficult situations to me.
-Met at a top university, both now graduated.
-She is now at law school, I'm doing odd jobs teaching and translating whilst looking for business work and living with my parents. This has taken a large toll on my self-esteem.

The argument:

She had been sending me the odd meme about Valentine's Day on Facebook. Last year we agreed that V-Day was commercial kitsch and did nothing to celebrate it. So I decided to broach the subject directly and said that I didn't want to do anything for V-Day this year for the same reasons as last year. Being a girl, she got upset, and said that she didn't expect tacky roses or chocolates, but she thought it would be nice to do something coupley. I thought dinner or dancing was a fair compromise so agreed to that.

Fastforward a few days and I invite her here for dinner on the 13th. She now tells me that she has arranged something with her dad for V-Day, and "doesn't want me to do something that I feel uncomfortable with." She had already mentioned the event with her dad when I saw her on Thursday, after our initial argument.

My gut feeling tells me that she's still very into me (really fun date on Thursday with great sex, she initiates contact 90% of the time), but feels a bit slighted that I was so blasé about V-Day.

I'm torn between:

-explaining my rationale again (I don't like V-Day, but it's always nice to see your gf)
-going NC as I feel she's taken my counteroffer of dinner entirely for granted and her turning me down is disrespectful
-leaving her entirely because of this argument + the cons above + plenty more fish in the sea

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Cmon Don Juans, hit me with some good old tough love...

 

[TheJazz]

It's a sh1t test. Be totally okay with it. Go do your own thing while being perfectly happy.

 

[Down Low]

You were wrong to go back on your decision. It revealed weakness.

She's going out with Dear Old Dad, you want VD free? I strongly suspect that you're both cheating on each other.

You're way too young for her. She's way too old for you. The other issues you seem to have a grip on.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

You were wrong to go back on your decision. It revealed weakness.

She's going out with Dear Old Dad, you want VD free? I strongly suspect that you're both cheating on each other.

You're way too young for her. She's way too old for you. The other issues you seem to have a grip on.

Good stuff, thanks for replying DL.

I cheated on her twice a couple of months ago. I am fairly sure that unfavourable logistics (she lives with her parents) plus her controlling parents mean that she has stayed loyal, but you can never be certain.

I actually think I was a bit too cold-hearted before when I said we should do nothing. V-Day is a day to spend with your gf. If you can lose all the kitschy crap, go out somewhere for a meal and sleep with her, it's a win. I offered this to her and she turned it down, so her loss.

It's a sh1t test. Be totally okay with it. Go do your own thing while being perfectly happy.

Exactly. I'm going to stay non-reactive and not rise to her bait.

 

[Purefilth]

You do realise that this means forfeiting steak and bj day next month right?

 

[OnTheWayUp]

so just ignore her on v day then? or send her a message saying "have a nice dinner" / "happy v day" ? seems a bit cold, but i guess that's the option she chose when she turned my date down. and you guys are right, getting angry with her accomplishes nothing.

 

[Purefilth]

you should treat it as any other day and get her all worked up that you dont care, then spring a little surprise for her.

Skipping out on this day could very well mean the end of your relationship. Honestly most girls say "oh I dont really care" but youll have her hating on you if you do skip out on it altogether.

 

[Packers2010]

v-day is just design so girls can show off to other women.

though it's man purpose is to get chumps t buy a hole heap of crap.

 

[DonJuanabe]

You sure it's with her dad and not some other guy...

 

[Asasione]

you should treat it as any other day and get her all worked up that you dont care, then spring a little surprise for her.

Skipping out on this day could very well mean the end of your relationship. Honestly most girls say "oh I dont really care" but youll have her hating on you if you do skip out on it altogether.

Why go back on the words you said in the first, they agreed on it and as soon as she starts minor drama, you bend over and take it up the ass!

If you want to buy her something why don't you deliberately do it on a different day, Friday night go out and have fun. I never celebrate Valentines and been with my GF for 4+ years, she understood it and even now she's saying similar things, who cares!

End of a relationship over V-day means you never had much of a relationship to speak of so I think your assumption is completely wrong, or you've been with such women in the past so can't argue with that either. All I wanna know is what do you feel like doing OTWU? Stop worrying about your GF and when you figure that out, do that and nothing else