"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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vacation girl

ubercat

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I'd kind of gone monk because I've got a few goLs I'm close to achieving that I want to see out before the years done. Anyway fitness and weight loss is a big one. So I was at badminton last night playing with this Chinese Malay girl. Good result we beat two strong male players. I speak a bit of Chinese so I was busting her chops in Mandarin during the game.

Anyway long story short we talking after the game and she asks me for a tennis lesson. Whips out her phone and gives me her number. So the reflexes kick in and I start testing the Waters. Suggested she should take me to a Malaysian restaurant afterwards and she counters with it would be easier if I cooked for you. I tell her there's a university near my place with free tennis courts and I can pick her up and she's cool with all that. I also mentioned that there are nice small Lakes there that we could walk around so she seemed open to turning it into a day out.

It's a meetup event and this morning I see that she s clicked my little like button. She said she's leaving in 2 weeks.

So it's all kind of around how you operate under a time constraint mixed in with a little bit of escaping the friend zone just in case the chick is hopelessly naive.

Now normally as I understand it the principle is to leave a few days until the date and let the hamster run.

Question is do I stick to this or do I try and get her out on a quick midweek date playing pool or something. Which makes the weekend a second date helping to avoid ASD when I go for the lay.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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HeadLightsOn

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I would wait a smaller amount of time eg a day. I'd treat this like a vacation fling - get in, do your setup, bang, dismiss.
 

parkthebus

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I would say gice yourself enough time for 2 dates. I reckon you should invite her round to yours and cook dinner together. Good situation to judge interest level in. Move drinks to the sofa and make your move. If she doesn't go for it but is still interested arrange another date that is obviously intimate.
 

ubercat

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Sadly my pads a big mess with renno at the moment. It would take a day to clean. Anyway after a bit of text ping pong I set up a date for Tuesday night for pool and drinks.

So surely at this point the slowest girl in the world would have worked out I'm after more than Tennis.
 

parkthebus

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I'm sure she does know but would still go even if she had no interest in you just so she can ring another one into the friend zone. Even so, if she leaves in two weeks might as well go in for the kill if interest is minimal.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ubercat

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Date was OK. Made a few mistakes primarily appearing too interested. Got in enough kino that she should b well aware that I ll b trying it on next date. Confirmed date for Sunday.

I ll skip Saturday badminton as she ll b there. Avoid over exposure.

Harry would say don't make a date on a date. But given the time constraint I m pushing.

Planning to leave her alone for nxt 3 days quick call on Saturday to confirm date details.

Mixed signals galore - hard to know what is IL and what is cultural. So play it out let the chips fall.
 

ubercat

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She sent flake text. Not having any experience with Chinese Malay girls maybe I escalated too fast. I think there was initial interest so this one s on me.
 

parkthebus

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She sent flake text. Not having any experience with Chinese Malay girls maybe I escalated too fast. I think there was initial interest so this one s on me.
Perhaps just moved to fast and showed too much interest or maybe she decided she wouldn't have sex with someone she won't see again. Who knows with women?
 

dustmuffin

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At least you tried. Learned and will do better next time.
 

ubercat

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Thanks guys it was interesting. May have been other factors. She said she had a male friend visiting from Malaysia yesterday. Of course we know that most attractive girls have orbiting thirsty guys. So I guess she has the option of having her holiday fling and him as a boyfriend back home if he proved to be any good.

Anyway my take out from this one is build a bit more rapport and go a bit slower with the Asian girls - seems like they pack their ASD even on holiday.

Don't care about the Aussie girls they are purely practice but with Asian girls I have to take any feedback from my target market seriously.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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parkthebus

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Thanks guys it was interesting. May have been other factors. She said she had a male friend visiting from Malaysia yesterday. Of course we know that most attractive girls have orbiting thirsty guys. So I guess she has the option of having her holiday fling and him as a boyfriend back home if he proved to be any good.

Anyway my take out from this one is build a bit more rapport and go a bit slower with the Asian girls - seems like they pack their ASD even on holiday.

Don't care about the Aussie girls they are purely practice but with Asian girls I have to take any feedback from my target market seriously.
Asian girls probably get loads of options in Australia too. They're a sought after commodity over here.
 

ubercat

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Tomorrow I'll see if there is any social Circle Fallout. Her AFC friend she was staying with is going to the badminton group I belong to. Will be interesting I don't normally hunt at the meetup groups for that reason.

He's Asian so I suspect we'll just stonily ignore each other. But if he gives me any s*** for striking out with this chick I'm giving the line about missing a hundred percent of the shots you don't take.
 
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