I have been dating this girl for over two years. Beautiful, intelligent, great, love of my life. When I started seeing her she had been with another guy for two and a half years. The relationship was in trouble and I wanted to be her friend and give her advice and we got closer and closer. We kissed in a nightclub and a few days later he broke up with her like a real cold nasty piece of work in the pub they had their first date in. Within a month we were together and so happy. We moved in together. Six months together I found she was trying to contact him when he phone flashed with a text and his name. She had asked him to meet her. I had to read it and told her immediately. I told her where she goes I go, we are a couple, and I had taken his number so I told him the same. He told me to come too but I then decided the past is the past so I convinced her not to go and we changed our numbers. A year and a half later I decided to go on facebook whilst she was asleep and the computer logged her in automatic. There was a message from her ex asking why she had added him as a friend. I knew he was trying to cause trouble hoping I would see it so I sent him message pretending to be her saying I never bleeping added him. But I looked at his profile and it said there was a friend request sent to him. I think he hacked into her facebook and added himself. She has never changed her password since staying with him. I have blocked him on facebook from her account but now worry what if she finds out? I think she will understand I did it to protect her, and she can't be too mad really because he did it first, but my thinking is do I tell her or wait until he says something about the message? I've seen him around a few times when we are out and he makes us deliberately uncomfortable by staring badly and will probably come over soon. I love this girl I want a future with her not without her and I worry this is a ticking bomb.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Using your gf's facebook: time bomb
- Thread starter CASON
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You sound really insecure, and she sounds like she misses her ex. Really whats more probable, that he "hacked" into your girls facebook and then sent a friend request to himself just to then ask why she sent it? Or that your girl actually sent it. Going through her email/facebook/phone is never a good idea. At that point the relationship is usually to damaged to fix. But I don't really know anything about your relationship, so it might be ok.
As to telling her about it, your sort of in a bind shes not going to like it that you went into her facebook and snooped around and then messaged her old boyfriend. If it makes you feel better then tell her, I don't think it really matters either way.
As to telling her about it, your sort of in a bind shes not going to like it that you went into her facebook and snooped around and then messaged her old boyfriend. If it makes you feel better then tell her, I don't think it really matters either way.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
Wow buddy. You sound like a bit of a punk.
Listen, if she wants to cheat with her ex, she will find a way. Blocking him on HER facebook is just a punk move by a scared little man (you).
Man up.
Listen, if she wants to cheat with her ex, she will find a way. Blocking him on HER facebook is just a punk move by a scared little man (you).
Man up.
Chickfight
Senior Don Juan
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I'd give you advice, but I'm kind of rooting for the ex boyfriend. You're like freakin Billy Zane in titanic.
Your making excuses for your girl...If the ex wanted to fvck with you he could have done it other ways then to hack into your gf's facebook and send a friend request...That's what your girlfriend did and you're afraid to admit it.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Do you know how difficult it is to "Hack" into someone's facebook account? I'm sure anyone who's into I.T. will agree. It's like when people say they're other half "hacked" into their yahoo or hotmail account. It's not possible. These sites are more secure than Fort Knox. Perhpas ten years ago it was different, but now - watertight.
If that gives you any technology-related clues.
If that gives you any technology-related clues.
lol how blind and dumb can a man think to deny the fact that his Girl is trying to contact her ex, because she is getting bored with her current boyfriend.....
grow up. Its life, this is a simple boy/girl dynamic at play here... nothing new, and you are not special, this happens to most people.
so take action
grow up. Its life, this is a simple boy/girl dynamic at play here... nothing new, and you are not special, this happens to most people.
so take action
kentgraham10
Don Juan
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No advice here but...
LOLChickfight said:
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
Your girl is keeping things from you. Do you want to be with a girl who keeps things from you? If so stay with her. If not break up with her. She obviously still has feelings for her ex.
SamTheHobit
Master Don Juan
Don't listen to these guys, they will make you paranoid.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Hahahahaha +1Chickfight said:
You really believe he hacked her FB to add himself.. dude...
He actually sounds like he doesnt want her, but she is the one that keeps making contact.
Get your house in order before going off on her ex!
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
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No offense OP but you are a blind, afc, fool. SHE sent him the friend request. If you are too blind to see that, you have issues.
"There is no worse blind man than he who does not want to see..."pinhas said:
Edit: Another post reminded me of a similar situation: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1785666&postcount=6
You are both wrong for each other. She loves another man (the ex) but is currently with you. You don't trust her and go through her things.
The best thing you can do is move on. From both of these people and start with a clean slate from another girl.
EvilAgenda
Senior Don Juan
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If you've ever been in this situation, it's not about being insecure and it's not about not trusting her. It's about common sense. If a girl is with you, she should not be running off to see her ex-bf.getready said:
CASON, "moving in together" is a timebomb.
I've been in a similar situation, (minus the moving in together part). What I did was I let her know it made me uncomfortable, and that I really didn't know what to do about it.
If she says any crap like oh WHY WERE YOU ON MY FACEBOOK!? Tell her that is not the issue, the issue is her making you uncomfortable since she is talking with her ex bf. Ask her about why she wanted to send him a friend request.
(Fact: You already know she is reaching out to him.).
Like I said, DO NOT let her turn it into "you don't trust me" or "you are an insecure jerk" or "why were you on my facebook" or "you text YOUR friends!" That's not the issue. Keep calm, stay in control, be stubborn.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
We are already moved in together sorry for any confusion. I decided to take the advice here and take action. I just sent a message from my facebook to her ex saying that if he has any feelings for her he will let her live her life and be happy. He sent me a response within minutes so he probably is still sat at his computer all this time waiting for a response from her. He sent me message back saying "know this; it's already over" so I think he has accepted our love for each other is true and he should leave us alone.
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
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You are either a troll or an idiot. Get this through your head. The ex does not want your gf. YOUR GF wants the ex. See? She is the one initiating contact with him, not the other way around. How can you not see this?CASON said:
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
cordoncordon said:
He ignored a whole page of responses just to spew some more "love" talk.
It's a troll.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.