ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,945
- Reaction score
- 70
- Age
- 45
You're annoying. Don't post in my topics please.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Before Rollo locks this thread....logic1 said:Some people are always worried about whats going on with other people. I dont think this is the DJ way.
This is a very good point.chevelle said:I see both sides. But what is the correct way of going about cutting ties? If a female blows you off or flakes on you, are you supposed to cut all ties or are you supposed to distance yourself? Either way, she knows your feelings have been messed with, giving her sick/twisted mind affirmation, therefore boosting her ego. It is a lose/lose situation, so what difference does it make how he reacted?
That's exactly where you want to be.ThunderMaverick said:There were so many ways to go about this. You guys are making good points about keeping her attraction level up and making her wonder about me, etc. But the point is is that I don't CARE what she thinks of me.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Colossus said:I still have to side with the OP here. He handled it like a man (after that night). We all have our opinions about social network ettiquette, but come on guys. In the scheme of your life, it ultimately means crap. If he felt better by nixing her from whatever online social net he uses, fine. I or whoever may have left it, but whatever, seriously. What matters is that he recognized his mistakes and WALKED AWAY. No questions asked, he walked and learned.
Jonwon is an idiot.
TM, good for you. On to new things, end of story.
:rockon: