This is really nothing special, but it is working for me lately to control my oneitis outbreaks. It's really simple, but it works for me. This method may seem silly, but I am personally very prone to contracting oneitis.
Here's what I do: I keep a list of the women that I'm either interested in and are legitimate prospects or that I'm actually dating. It's on a post-it note and I keep it in a drawer in my office, just so that it's near impossible for anyone other than me to find.
The premise of the list is based on the fact that I tend to give women three strikes rather than two before I give up on them and move on. Each time one of them gets a strike, next to her name I will draw one segment of a capital N.
Strike 1 - |
Strike 2 - \
Strike 3 - | again to complete the capital N, which stands for Next!
When a woman gets the N next to her name, I make a new list without her on it and throw the old list away. It feels good to do this because I am taking a physical action in moving on and not just trying to do so in my mind.
I also rotate their positions on the list based on my relative interest. Those in whom I have the most interest will be at the top. In this way, I can compare my own interest level with the apparent interest level of any particular woman according to how high she is on the list and how many strikes she has earned for herself.
Also, if the list is short, it reminds me that I need to go meet more women! If I only have one woman on the list, I am at very high risk of oneitis, and I need to take preventative measures! Moreover, if the list is long, I will know that I am Da Man. If there are none on the list, well.. that hasn't happened yet, but I think it will mean that I am busy working on my own life and haven't met any woman worthy of inclusion within it.
Anyway, that's my method. It's working so far, in conjunction with reminding myself of some other good advice I read here. Remember that it can only end in one of two ways: either you and her break up, or worse, you and her get married!
Here's what I do: I keep a list of the women that I'm either interested in and are legitimate prospects or that I'm actually dating. It's on a post-it note and I keep it in a drawer in my office, just so that it's near impossible for anyone other than me to find.
The premise of the list is based on the fact that I tend to give women three strikes rather than two before I give up on them and move on. Each time one of them gets a strike, next to her name I will draw one segment of a capital N.
Strike 1 - |
Strike 2 - \
Strike 3 - | again to complete the capital N, which stands for Next!
When a woman gets the N next to her name, I make a new list without her on it and throw the old list away. It feels good to do this because I am taking a physical action in moving on and not just trying to do so in my mind.
I also rotate their positions on the list based on my relative interest. Those in whom I have the most interest will be at the top. In this way, I can compare my own interest level with the apparent interest level of any particular woman according to how high she is on the list and how many strikes she has earned for herself.
Also, if the list is short, it reminds me that I need to go meet more women! If I only have one woman on the list, I am at very high risk of oneitis, and I need to take preventative measures! Moreover, if the list is long, I will know that I am Da Man. If there are none on the list, well.. that hasn't happened yet, but I think it will mean that I am busy working on my own life and haven't met any woman worthy of inclusion within it.
Anyway, that's my method. It's working so far, in conjunction with reminding myself of some other good advice I read here. Remember that it can only end in one of two ways: either you and her break up, or worse, you and her get married!
