Used to pay for sex, but now wants a relationship

[PUA in Training]

1st question: you think most women would have a relationship with a guy they found out used to pay for sex because he was too lazy to date and get to know women at that time? Assuming he agreed to get tested first of course.

Also, if a guy has had very little dating experience for a guy in his mid 30s, should he just be honest and tell a prospective gf that he was just had too many self-esteem/self-confidence issues for most of his life to be able to even find a gf let alone keep one, but he's a different man now? Or should he just make up some dating history to sound normal?

I'm not ready for a relationship yet. I'm 33 with VERY little dating experience for a guy my age, and still have the above mentioned issues. And I want to have a relationship in the future, but I want to have some meaningless sex first, just "get it out of my system", so I don't feel like I "missed anything".

But I'm too lazy and impatient to go through the dating thing, or even try to pick up women in clubs for one-night-stands. I don't have the self-confidence to do that, and it would be easier to just pay for sex and get right to it. But when I'm "the new me" that I intend to be in the future, I'm going to want to have a relationship. Any advice?

 

[Freddy1]

Paying for sex can be an addictive life style. Its not always easy going into the dating scene if you been into that life style for some time.

 

[asdfghjkl]

Your basically just contradicting yourself throughout that whole post. First you say you want a relationship, then you say your not ready, then you say you want just sex, then you say you want a relationship

I think first you have to figure out what you want, then procede with that. If you want a relationship, then go out there and start meeting some people.
However, dont tell a girl your inexperienced in relationships or whatnot unless it gets serious. my .02

P.S. Dont pay for sex, why would you pay for something you could have for free after you learn a little more

 

[PUA in Training]

Your basically just contradicting yourself throughout that whole post. First you say you want a relationship, then you say your not ready, then you say you want just sex, then you say you want a relationship

No I'm thinking ahead as to how to handle this situation when it comes up months or maybe years into the future. Right now, I just want to have some meaningless sex so I won't feel later like I missed out and wonder what it's like. And I'm a loser whose too lazy and impatient to give the effort to get meaningless sex through being social, so if I'm going to get meaningless sex it's going to be by paying for it. But someday in the future when I'm not such a no self-esteem having, no confidence having, no life having loser, and I've gotten the meaningless sex out of my system, I'm going to want a relationship.

And I suppose that most guys, when they find a woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with, have had plenty of meaningless sex, and I think women expect that..."boys will be boys" and all that. But when I find that special woman, just about all the experience I'm going to have had with women by then is with prostitutes.

Do I lie about that, and make up some dating history so I sound more "normal"? Or do I just be honest with her, and say "look, I used to be a total loser, I used to pay women for sex because I was too lazy to put forth the effort to get sex by actually using social skills. I just wanted to get right to the sex, then go home and play PS2. But that was then, and I'm a different man now"? You think if a woman digs me enough she could look past my past history?

I admit my initial post was a little confusing in that regard, so I hope this one was more clear.

 

[rocky_mtn]

I say don't bring it up. Women really don't understand paying for sex, and telling a woman this gives them the wrong impression. I would not totally lie about it but not go with the "look, I used to be a total loser," line, it sounds kinda pscho.

If a woman told you that she used to charge money for sex, would think of her differently. Most would.

It that ever came up in a relationship, I would gloss over it, but not totally lie.

 

[Carlos Xuma]

You're 33, you're almost over the hill man. You're not too young. Get you "new self" together NOW!

 

[Nighthawk]

But I'm too lazy and impatient to go through the dating thing, or even try to pick up women in clubs for one-night-stands.

With this attitude it is unlikely you will ever have to face the dilemma of telling a girl or not.

The answer to your question is DO NOT TELL A WOMAN YOU WENT WITH A PROSTITUTE. You think she's going to understand that you were a lazy social retard and love you more?

Not knowing this shyt is why you need to lose your fear of women and get some experience.

 

[Holland]

You're a lazy mofo. Get out there and make shiit happen. The clock's ticking!
On to your questions:
1. You're not going to that. You have better ways to spend your time.
2. Don't talk to her about it untill after you had sex or at least made out with her. If it does come to the time to talk about (after say a 4+ weeks of dating)
Don't tell her that you're pathetic and never was able to get a relationship, just tell her you've been very busy in your life and never found someone who fitted you for a long-term relationship.

If she asks for it earlier, play up the ****y and funny and slapstick answers and you'll be fine.

If a woman is attracted to you enough she'll look past every 'disadvantages' you may have. (That's a guarantee!)

I hear you saying:

But someday in the future when I'm not such a no self-esteem having, no confidence having, no life having loser, and I've gotten the meaningless sex out of my system, I'm going to want a relationship.

With that thinking, you'll never get there. You must see yourself like you want to be right now!
Just go out and start dating women. Try it all, if you find a girl you find sexually attractive, go for the meaningless sex. If you find one you really like, go for the relationship. It doesn't really matter man, as long as you get out there and try something.
Ow and don't expect it come too easy to, there a lot of men who will NEVER be succesfull with women. Make sure you're not one of them proud ignorant idiots and study stuff, then get out there, try, fail, learn and succeed, my brother.

I'll leave the rest up to you. It's your life.