Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I find it a little odd, that she put you off all the way to next week. Dude get other chicks in the rotation.CaConfused said:
She might work or study or w/e! I know, or better, used to know when I was younger women who would only go out on Fridays, Saturdays or Sundays! If that's not the case then yes, it is odd!Maximus Rex said:
cordoncordon said:
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
yeah, she liked you then. but interest level is like a yo-yo. it goes up and down, up and down.CaConfused said:
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
have fun tonight!"
CordonCordon, can I get your cell phone number? I want to forward my incoming texts to you and hire you to do my heavy lifting.cordoncordon said:With it being a Sat night, her expecting to go out with you, have drinks, and then leave at 9:30 or so to go to a movie (which is probably with another guy), which in the meantime leaves you hanging right when things get going? Not the biggest high level of interest sign I have ever seen, and kinda rude. I would cancel.
Say something like this. "Hey, didn't realize you had another engagement to go to that night. I had dinner planned after drinks so lets reschedule for another night when we both have more time. I have some friends that asked me to join them so no biggie. Have a great time at the movie!"
I bet her jaw drops when she reads that. She may even offer to cancel the movie. And if she does? Tell her no, that you already promised your friends you will be joining them.
Also, no doubt she is spinning plates. Seeing other guys. That is why she flaked twice before, was late on getting back to you about Sat night, and why she has to leave early to go to a movie. You should do the same. Spin.
Yep. I took it. Now trying to navigate the results!. he's great!Atom Smasher said:
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Wow, why are people making this so complicated? Just go hang out with her on Saturday. You can message her randomly/casually during the week. Now if she flakes on Saturday, you may want to forget about her.CaConfused said:OK guys, thanks a ton for the advice. I see my man Gambino also chimed in.
So where we are are this:
I cancelled the date.
She said cool, let's hang on Saturday
I said 'sounds good'
She replied "Perfect! It's a date then.
Should I flake on the Saturday date and tell her something came up, or should I go with it. By Saturday, I will not have seen her for 2 weeks.
By the way, I don't usually text with her at all between dates. Right tact or should I be more interesting?
I think she's giving OP a sh!t test. She is not used to being rejected. Given that she was, however, she may be trying to delay the next hangout to punish you for the rejection. Sound purposely planned? It is...trust me I have talked to women who have done this before. The guys gave you plenty of advice. Just answer with something casual. Someone said, "sounds good" as a suggestion. Keep texts short and sweet. If she is interested, she will contact you.Maximus Rex said:
I'm assuming that you're not doing sh#t else at 4:30 in the morning than stressing over some random broad, so when you've finished reading this go Harry Wilimington's site and find the podcasts about worrying she'll forget you and the one about contacting a chick after you've set the date.CaConfused said:
Do you think if Hugh Jackman was hollerin' at her and he asked to meet him for drinks on Wednesday night after work, she would be taking some, I'm busy, sh*t? Listen dude, you're worrying about sh&t that doesn't matter. If you were spinning plates like you were suppose to the last thing you'd be worried is a date set for Saturday.CaConfuse said:
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.