URGENT: I asked for a date, she invited me to a party

[mellowmood23]

Hello all,

I went to a restuarant and sat at the bar to order food. I thought the waitress was cool so I chatted with her for a bit and it seemed like we clicked. So I asked her do you have a boyfriend? She said that she just broke up. So I told her I wanna take you out on a date this weekend. She said ok. Then she said, "actually this Saturday im throwing a party for my roomates boyfriend cuz he just arrived for a visit from overseas. Then she asked me if I want to come, and I said sure (maybe I shouldnt have?).

I find it a little weird that if someone is interested in a girl he would go to a party she threw while he knows no one there. I mean, on a date, ur supposed to be kinda alone with the girl and get to know her by talking. But in the middle of a crowd that you dont know, and the fact that its her party, so she will be occupied with the guests and stuff, dont you guys find that a bit strange.

I wanna know your opinions as to what might this girl be thinking.

 

[amoka]

When is the party? If it is over a week from now, call and tell her your grandmother needs her lawn mowed on the day of the party so you wont be able to attend, and schedule for something for some other time. A party for her roommate's boyfriend? There is probably a lot of ladies there and to able in the mist of such an occations requires a lot of DJ skills. With a good DJ skill you'd have a blast at the party but with a minimal level of skill, you'd regret going to such an event.

 

[mellowmood23]

When is the party? If it is over a week from now, call and tell her your grandmother needs her lawn mowed on the day of the party so you wont be able to attend, and schedule for something for some other time. A party for her roommate's boyfriend? There is probably a lot of ladies there and to able in the mist of such an occations requires a lot of DJ skills. With a good DJ skill you'd have a blast at the party but with a minimal level of skill, you'd regret going to such an event.

The party is today!! I met her 3 days ago at the rest.

Its a small crowd party, about 10 - 15 people.

I have no problem being in the middle of a crowd of girls. the thing is, Im confused as to what she is thinking.

 

[amoka]

The party is today!! I met her 3 days ago at the rest.

Its a small crowd party, about 10 - 15 people.

I have no problem being in the middle of a crowd of girls. the thing is, Im confused as to what she is thinking.

More likely she is going to introduce you as a "friend" she met at her work place. If you know your game, introduce yourself as friend of her to all the ladies at the party. Don't worry too much if she did not give your the attention you'd desire. Let her be worry why you are mr. charming to her girlfriends.

 

[mellowmood23]

Ya I agree. Il try my best to get her jealous but il also try not to over do it. But first I got to see how she will be acting. This girl is not "the bomb", so its easy putting on the "i dont care" attitude.

I need your advice though, do you think I should be leaving the party earlier than everybody else? On a saturday night, does it matter?

 

[DJDamage]

So I asked her do you have a boyfriend? She said that she just broke up. So I told her I wanna take you out on a date this weekend.

Congrats on the approach (which is the most difficult part) but your delivery still needs work. Personally I don't ask a girl if she has a boyfriend, i just keep hitting on her and if she is reciprocate to my advances, i assume she doesn't (and even if she does so what?). Secondaly seduction is not about rushing things, you got to take it slower (me tarzan you Jane, you single?, go on a date with me!and back to my place for some monkey love!) .Ask for her number let her think about you for a bit before you call.

Thirdly do you think a hot waitress in a bar is not constantly being hit on? what have you done to seperate yourself from the other guys who ask her out during her shift? (do you have a tight game?) what has she done to prove you that you are different then those guys and won't toss your advances aside??! (a good indicator is free drinks)

The fact that she did invite you to an event that she will be attending is a good thing. However since its not one on one its not a great thing. I would say she is mildly interested but not greatly so (since she just broke up with her bf, you could be the nice rebound guy she might toss aside). Just look at it as she is invited you to a party and you have a potential to either hook up with her or find yourself another girl there.

 

[amoka]

Why would you leave the party early if you're having a good blow-job from one of the chicks in the bathroom? Why would you not leave when the place is boring and you'd probably have better things to invest your time for? It is yours to decide.

 

[amoka]

My advice:

*Don't try to figure her out...just see the invitation as an opportunity to take her out one-on-one at a later time.

*Establish a time constraint when you arrive: "I can't stay long."

*Preferably arrive with a male friend and convey a cautious sense of postivism and curiosity...

*Impress upon her that you're just as undecided about her as she may be with you.

*Do not be afraid to talk to other people--men AND women--at the party.

*After 20 minutes or so, tell her you're leaving and that you would like to continue the conversation sometime. If she's interested, she'll leave her number.

*Risk losing her: if she doesn't offer her number, leave without pressing her for it. You made your move; now let her show you that she's interested.

This sums things up. good luck

 

[mellowmood23]

The fact that she did invite you to an event that she will be attending is a good thing. However since its not one on one its not a great thing.

Even if its her own place she is inviting me too?

 

[mellowmood23]

*After 20 minutes or so, tell her you're leaving and that you would like to continue the conversation sometime. If she's interested, she'll leave her number.

I already have her number. She gave it to me in the rest after I asked for it. I gave her mine too. I called her two days later to get the address for the party which is being hosted at HER place.

During the phone call she was describing the address. This is how the convo basicaly went:

Her: My place is on this street after this street, blah blah blah

Me: Im not gonna memorize all that. Send it to me in a txt.

Her: Do you have facebook?

Me: No. I dont like that "stuff"

Her: Then grab a pen and paper and write it down.

Me: Im in the middle of a department store.

Her: Grab a pen and paper from anybody.

Me: No, you send a txt.

Her: I dont like writing txts.

Me: you are stubborn.

Her: *giggles* Ur stubborn too.

Me: No, I have a good excuse. You dont.

Her: I dont want too.

Me: Im asking you to send me a txt please.

Her: No I wont.

Me: After I hang up you will send me a txt with the address and im thanking you in advance.

Her: Ok I will

END

After we hung up, she send me a txt with the address an hour later

Sorry I wasnt clear about this from the beginning. I didnt want to bore people with a long post. Now I know that these details are crucial.

 

[mellowmood23]

Any feedback regarding the phone call?

 

[mellowmood23]

Espi, thanks for the response.

I will think of something similar to the art show idea. I will make her commit to me. If she doesnt, then I dont want her. Im not gonna chase any girls around. To me, being chased is a big part of the success. I love making a girl chase me. Anyways, I will report back to you guys after the party. Lets hope it will be a good one. And good luck for all you guys on the Saturday night hunt. Go out there and nail them guys. they are the deer, and you got the guns.

Peace

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

.... I would say she is mildly interested but not greatly so (since she just broke up with her bf, you could be the nice rebound guy she might toss aside). Just look at it as she is invited you to a party and you have a potential to either hook up with her or find yourself another girl there.

I'm glad that someone pointed this out. She just broke up and she needed a "placeholder" for her party to show her friends that she has moved on. It should also be considered that if mellowmood23 wants to make impression, he has up to 15 other people he'll need to engage and impress. Not saying that it can't be done but just pointing out what's ahead.

 

[MooseGod]

I went to a party as a "first date" with my last GF...we ended up dating/living together for like a year and a half. So to answer your question, she hates you and you should go kill yourself right now.

Just don't be a jackass and try to sleep with her when she's drunk on the first date if she seems like a "good girl." You have no idea how far trust will get you in with a chick.

 

[mellowmood23]

So this is how it went:

An hour before the party started, she calls me and tells me that she wants me to arrive early because she has nothing to do now. I tell her im easy now but il put that into consideration. The party starts at 8.30. I arrive at 8.45. I know that its early, but its all good. There was only 4 people there. she greets me and I got to talk to the people there. As soon as I arrived people started to arrive till we reached a crowd of about 15 people. From the start, I warned her that I wont be staying for long.

Anyways, she was giving special attention to me. She was being a good host. But at the same time, when she is not around, I talk to other guys and girls (didnt flirt with the girls though). I was completely chilled. Conversations were smooth. No awkward moments. I definitely left the place with high value. I was the hottest guy there (its not that im super hot, its just that the guys there didnt seem like the type that took care of the way they look). She definitely was the hottest girl there too. We talked about 60% of the time and got to know each other a lil more. I kept getting phone calls from people that wanted to meet me later on, which was totally cool. Anyways, around 10 I was on my way out. Definitely the first person to leave the party. After saying bye to people I want to say bye to her, and she asked "so il see you can?", I said sure. I definitely nailed it.

Anyways, I dont want to call her. I want to wait for her till she calls. I want to establish from the beginning that im the one that she will be chasing. not the other way around. Do you think I am over doing it guys? Should I call her?

 

[DJDamage]

Anyways, I dont want to call her. I want to wait for her till she calls. I want to establish from the beginning that im the one that she will be chasing. not the other way around. Do you think I am over doing it guys? Should I call her?

If you wait for her to call she might not call it all, she might be hanging by the phone waiting for you to call. Women are bad at taking charge and putting effort into something. If you wait too long you could be last week news. Remember you are the one that took her number and asked her out therefore the ball is still in your court.

Give her a call within 2-3 days and ask her to go with you somewhere. No more excuses about being busy or having plans, if her interest in you are high she should will cancel and accomodate yours needs. Once you are on the date, its time to esscalate things to the sexual realm, i doubt you had the oppertuinty to do so during the party. Once again be aware that you could still be the rebound guy and this courtship could be short lived.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Anyways, I dont want to call her. I want to wait for her till she calls. I want to establish from the beginning that im the one that she will be chasing. not the other way around. Do you think I am over doing it guys? Should I call her?

Sounds like you had the evening under control; so what are you afraid of?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If you wait for her to call she might not call it all, she might be hanging by the phone waiting for you to call. Women are bad at taking charge and putting effort into something. If you wait too long you could be last week news. Remember you are the one that took her number and asked her out therefore the ball is still in your court.

You are so right about women being bad at taking charge (at least when it deals with a new love interest). They all want a guy who is decisive and takes charge, I have no idea why guys seem to be afraid to take advantage of that.

Give her a call within 2-3 days and ask her to go with you somewhere. No more excuses about being busy or having plans, if her interest in you are high she should will cancel and accomodate yours needs. Once you are on the date, its time to esscalate things to the sexual realm, i doubt you had the oppertuinty to do so during the party. Once again be aware that you could still be the rebound guy and this courtship could be short lived.

Personally, I'd give her a call straight away and thank her for a fun evening and tell her that I had fun meeting her friends. Actually, I would have also set up some side meetings with just a couple of her friends to help win them over; you can never have enough outside influence.

As for the rest of the phone call, I'd also tell her that we'll have to find some time to get to know one another and give her a couple of days and times over the next week or two that I'd be free to meet. Actually, since she works in a restaurant, I'd stop by and do it in person, it would make the message more powerful. But as always :nono: "Be aware of becoming the rebound guy."

 

[mellowmood23]

Sounds like you had the evening under control; so what are you afraid of?

Im not afraid of anything. I just assume that the more she pursues me, the less likely it is that im the rebound guy. And plus, I admit that i love being chased. Dont you?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Im not afraid of anything. I just assume that the more she pursues me, the less likely it is that im the rebound guy. And plus, I admit that i love being chased. Dont you?

Women will pursure because they need a rebound guy. The only way to prevent you from being one is your actions, not hers.

Here's a twist on the being chased premise. Instead of having her chase you per se, what if you were able to lead her where ever you'd like?