URGENT (for tonight): Is this a pity date??

[mark123]

Been trying to meet up with this girl for over a week. Last thu we were supposed to meet and something came up for her - but she countered for sunday and i was busy. her IL last week was super high.

THis week, i sense IL dropping a bit. THis is our convo today:

me: Lets get a drink after 8 today. Let me know if it works
she: depends if you're not pretentious. I just got up and I look like a mess.
me: me? pretentious?
she: aha another night it is then
me: im confused. i meant im not pretentious
she: haha! i thought u wanted me to answer for you.
she; you know what?! lets do it. meet you at 930 then. have to drop something off at xyz place.

i sense her tone is like "lets get it over with" kinds. Do you sense the same? I don't want to be desperate (im not, could care less) IF she is just offering a "pity date" - because if thats the case, thats the mindset she will show up in.

any suggestions pls?? have to get back to her asap...

 

[corrector]

Say that you have a confession to make and Tell her that you are really pretentious and were lying to her by saying that you weren't. Even apologize. See if she still keeps the "pity-date". (nice way of getting rid of her since, yeah it's a "pity-date")

 

[floydb25]

Looks like you're analyzing too much... I see nothing wrong with that conversation. You didn't beg, she chose to go on the date... Sounded like she was just teasing when she said another time. Maybe to see how you react.

 

[Iceberg]

Been trying to meet up with this girl for over a week. Last thu we were supposed to meet and something came up for her - but she countered for sunday and i was busy. her IL last week was super high.

THis week, i sense IL dropping a bit. THis is our convo today:

me: Lets get a drink after 8 today. Let me know if it works
she: depends if you're not pretentious. I just got up and I look like a mess.
me: me? pretentious?
she: aha another night it is then
me: im confused. i meant im not pretentious
she: haha! i thought u wanted me to answer for you.
she; you know what?! lets do it. meet you at 930 then. have to drop something off at xyz place.

i sense her tone is like "lets get it over with" kinds. Do you sense the same? I don't want to be desperate (im not, could care less) IF she is just offering a "pity date" - because if thats the case, thats the mindset she will show up in.

any suggestions pls?? have to get back to her asap...

Sounds like she's making a joke. Loosen up and go on the date. Once you're there, you can judge whether it's pity or not.

Since it's already arranged, I think you'd agree....it's easier for YOU to judge the date's purpose rather than 100 strangers on an internet message board.

 

[Burroughs]

I'm someone who favors clear and concise communication up to and until I'm banging the sh!t out of her...this girl sounds like a power grasping ego trip 'you sound pretentious'...hah! she doesn't even know what the word means...if you can get an easy fvck (doesn't sound likely from tone) then do it if not...next!

 

[mark123]

Yeah I guess

The only thing is she bailed yest also since it was raining too hard + i was running late with the "maybe tomorrow" comment. Maybe I'm thinking too much , maybe she has an attitude? Maybe she is not serious and wants to keep postponing.

I jut don't wanna be a clueless afc and lap up what she throws. Dot need the date so badly

 

[mark123]

Thank you. will post an update.

 

[mark123]

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions. You guys were really prompt!

After reading those, I felt like I was analyzing too much and realized that I had a choice to walk out on her if she was behaving like a total cvnt.

This was an online date. She looked exactly like the worst picture on her profile LOL. Meaning, no surprises. Anyway, I had been negging her and being c&f over texts all this while and carried that forward to the date. She seemed to be receptive to that attitude, so I didn't back down. In hindight, I may have overdone it. It's funny how your confidence & wit gets amplified when you think with a clear mind and know that the outcome doesn't matter coz you don't care. That should be the DJ state of mind at all times.

Anyway, at one point somehow the conversation veered towards how she likes being told what to do. So (since I didn't care), I playfully asked her if that meant she likes being dominated. And kept giving her that stare as I imagined dominating her. She said "yes, in every way". and then went direct and said "i know you mean sexually". So I said yeah, and didn't push further (I know, I should have!). I asked her to come over some time and she wholeheartedly agreed.

At the end, as we were leaving, she offered me her cheek LOL I saw that coming - i knew she wanted to kiss but wanted to "Get back at me" by showing she wasn't easy. Within half an hour, she sends me a text: "Thank you Mark. It was nice to meet you Hope you have a good night!". I haven't replied yet.

Realize that this isn't a FR, but wanted to post an update instead of just disappear.

 

[Iceberg]

That's all you can do, man. Just go out and have fun. The analyzing stuff sucks because it's just unnecessary. The chick is gonna do what the chick is gonna do whether you spend 5 days thinking about her or 5 minutes.

So now you learned that she doesn't look at good as you had hoped. She likes being dominated in bed. And she probably wants YOU to dominate her in bed. She's not a wife. Maybe she's a booty call. Whatever. Point is, you had a few laughs and you learned.

Stop analyzing texts and go have some real-life experiences. Good and bad.

 

[blueeyedgent]

Text conversations with the most fun women I've dated usually look something like this. Not pity at all, she might be a keeper!

Go for it and expect to get a lot more of a ribbing. Roll with the punches and have some fun with her.