urgent advice... 24hrs left.

[DrMetallica]

Imma need some advice. Keep reading

I've had an LTR for almost forever (1 1/2 years) but something's fvcked up now...

I went over to her house thursday night to help her with studying for a chemistry final, the session was kinda ho-hum. She threw a fit that I was throwing too much kino and being overtly sexual (well sh!t, there's something new for ya), and kicked me outside her room and locked herself in. She's done crazier sh!t so I didn't think it was any big deal because she opened it a couple minutes later.

We do some chem but all ova sudden she starts rubbing herself while I'm trying to explain thermochemistry to her. I get distracted and like any normal overtly sexual sexy guy start kissing her and sh!t. She sorta gets pissed again and talks about how she's gonna be a porn star or something when she grows up. Since it's getting kinda late and the Doc needs his sleep I leave.

I called her that night around 3am and talk to her, she said she was really worried about finals the next day and I told her good night and she said I love you and then I told her I'd call her when I woke up.

Woke up, called, no answer. Tried 5 more times. Waited a couple hours and called again. She picked up and I said "hey!" then automatically she hung up.

Called her the next day saying the same thing "hey!" then automatically she hung up.

I went over to her house to hopefully SPEAK to her but as soon as I announed I was home she ran into her room and locked the door. No crying, no "get the fvck outta my house!", just calmly left and avoided eye contact. Her mom and sister were very warm so I stayed for an hour watching some sh!tty movie on Lifetime before I left.

Havn't talked to her since Thurs. night. I'd really at least like to say good bye and stroke her hair for one last time because she leaves for New York City tomorrow and I won't even have a chance to see her until November.

Imagine a healthy (at least since January) LTR just not taking any of your calls and avoiding you at all costs before a long departure. And these past three days were supposed to be the best days we've had together (hiking, camping, cuddling, doggy style, etc.) and she's made a big deal about how much she wants me to be the last person she sees at LA and how great it'll be once we see each other again etc.

 

[nw1512]

Thats a crazy story mate,

i'm not sure what to make of it, but you need to lay off the 'neediness' a bit

calling her 5 times
ringing her at 3am
etc

She sound's like she loves to play games and you fall for them

Maybe she's freaking out about goin away.

 

[Dirtheart]

I think Nw is right that she's freaking out about going away, or she could be extremely stressed about her exams and feels like you are not being supportive.

She said she's going to be a pornstar when she grows up and the only context in which I can understand her saying that is if you were distracting her with your advances and she was making a point like "If I fail this exam, I'll have to be a porn star or something that requires no intelligence" or "All I'm good for is sex, so I may as well make a living from it".

But hanging up on you and being totally childish is not something you should put up with...if you have any dignity. She is purposely being hurtful, playing games and making a fool of you, and you don't deserve that. She obviously knows how it's going to hurt you to see her go, but she's purposely making it worse for you. That's totally cruel!

Honestly, if I was in your position I would return the gesture. Don't call her AT ALL from now on. Ignore her calls and the best thing you can do is let her go to New York without seeing you or speaking to you. DO NOT CALL HER! DO NOT SHOW HER THAT YOU CARE!!

If she knows she has you in the palm of her hand (which she does right now) she can get away with anything - including cheating while she's away - and knows you'll still be waiting for her like a little lapdog.

But if you stop trying, let her think that you have given up on her and just get on with your life (or let her think this), that's when she'll start thinking about you all the time. She'll start wondering if you are seeing someone else, she'll start to regret her behaviour and you'll be on her mind the whole time she's away.

Above all, you need to act indifferent. If you act indifferent, I am certain her feelings for you will multiply!

 

[MacDiddy]

If you do what Dirtheart says, the only thing your gf would be doing in NY is thinking of how much she misses you.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by DrMetallica
She threw a fit that I was throwing too much kino and being overtly sexual (well sh!t, there's something new for ya), and kicked me outside her room and locked herself in. She's done crazier sh!t so I didn't think it was any big deal because she opened it a couple minutes later.

We do some chem but all ova sudden she starts rubbing herself while I'm trying to explain thermochemistry to her. I get distracted and like any normal overtly sexual sexy guy start kissing her and sh!t. She sorta gets pissed again and talks about how she's gonna be a porn star or something when she grows up...

I called her that night around 3am...I told her I'd call her when I woke up...Tried 5 more times. Waited a couple hours and called again...Called her the next day...went over to her house to hopefully SPEAK...I stayed for an hour watching some sh!tty movie on Lifetime

Congratulations. You've just rewarded her schizo-moodswings with your continued and persistent attention.

After the second time she burned you that night with her weirdness you should've just shut off the juice, but you kept coming around, kept rewarding her inconsistent behavior.

Don't call her. If she wants to be a b!tch, she can sit alone in the corner like one.

 

[DrMetallica]

Goddamnit I want to punch her in the throat. It's so f*cked up she won't even tell me what's bothering her.

 

[Omega]

Originally posted by DrMetallica
Goddamnit I want to punch her in the throat. It's so f*cked up she won't even tell me what's bothering her.

"I really don't know whats wrong with you, but if you don't stop it I'm literally going to leave. I don't ahve time to put up with this adolesant behavior, and it's not something I enjoy dealing with. Balls in your court now sweetheart"

 

[DrMetallica]

Originally posted by R3N3GAD3
"I really don't know whats wrong with you, but if you don't stop it I'm literally going to leave. I don't ahve time to put up with this adolesant behavior, and it's not something I enjoy dealing with. Balls in your court now sweetheart"

She's the one leaving! She leaves to fly to NYC tomorrow at 9am. And she broke off all forms of communication (when it was supposed to be our most memorable time together) starting on Friday.

 

[Omega]

Originally posted by DrMetallica
She's the one leaving! She leaves to fly to NYC tomorrow at 9am. And she broke off all forms of communication (when it was supposed to be our most memorable time together) starting on Friday.

She's not gone forever..only a couple months. You will be though if she continues her bs.

 

[Big-J]

And your putting up with all this Sh*t?

 

[JT47319]

I'm going to repost TD's words of wisdom to your other post here since it's also applicable to most of the peeps here as well...

After she's gone, you're going to have to decide if you're gonna stay an AFC or become a PUA (Pick Up Artist). You can either decide to be an Average Joe or become... something... someone... more.

"Do you think that's air you're breathing, Neo?"

LOL.. Welcome to the community.

This girl is gone and essentially dead to you now, so its time to welcome the pain and give yourself props for finding this website. You'll probably be here for the next 2 years, congratulations. My recommendations: Toecutter archive, Juggler archive, Mystery's first 50-100 posts from his archive, my archive starting from the 7th PDF, Maniac's nMP (don't use the rapport seeking openers and conversational threads, but read everything else he writes about female psych as it is the best ****), Mrsex4uNYC (don't use his value elicitation structure as it is crap, but his posts about attitude are among the best ever written and actually are a huge foundation for the entire scene and are mind blowing), Gunwitch method (found on the main page, great description of sexual state projection), badboy (great stuff in cliff's list and thundercat's seduction lair and has commercial products), swinggcat (same as badboy) , in10se (great midgame, and same as badboy and swingcat to find posts as well he posts here), zan rocks cliff's list, double your dating, ijjji method v1.0 (has a mix of stuff from lots of guys and his own stuff sort of laid out), and the ASF FAQ.

There are also some great posters here on this chatboard that you will begin to recognize and whose threads I often reply on. You will find that the majority of advice in the community is not field applied, but if you can go out a lot and get context then you will soon be able to recognize where the sources of good advice are and follow them. Do not take them dogmatically, but rather take it as an exercise in thinking about the game. Just the activity of replying and debating actually forces you to think about the game, and is useful.

Posting field reports is extremely useful also, as it similar to doing extra math problems at home after class. Writing many posts is very useful to your game, if you are out every night as well. If not then posting a lot will have a negative impact on your game. Ignore and downplay fear or interacting with girls, as that is ridiculous and reading books on how to not FEEL FEAR will just make you feel more dumb in the field. Remember that your ancesters fought in brutal bloody wars, and you are just out chatting girls. Learn to not care about their validation, and you will feel confident.

Go out 7 nights a week for 2 years. If you aren't able, then do as much as you can. Do not settle on the first girlfriend that you get, as you will inevitably lose her because the behaviour patterns that you changed are what will have attracted her, and inevitably you will not be fully congruent and you will lose several girls before the emotional pain causes you to fully realize that you must become fully congruent to your new behaviour patterns and ways of thinking, if you want to avoid losing girl after girl.

Find a good wing if possible. Take an in field workshop eventually if affordable, as most top guys have done so. Find your local Lair through Cliff's List and if there is no Lair then email Cliff to create your own (I think you wrote that you are in LA, and if so then join the PLAY List run by my homeboy Papa). To get start off, a good way would be to get a canned opener so you don't have to waste time thinking about how to start a conversation (whether an opinion opener, or even if its a direct opener or 'hey what's up' opener, HAVE AN OPENER and just get into interactions).

Have one great story to stack right after that, and then if affordable, get a digital camera with which you can record your own interactions with girls and watch them later to laugh at yourself, and also use it as a routine where you take pictures with the girls of several dorky and funny and sexy shots, and then zoom in close up to her face and tease her about it. Put socially proofed pictures that make you look cool on the camera. By doing so, you'll have yourself a good way to get into a lot of interactions, without as much pressure to hold a conversation. With time your brain will adapt and you will become extremely good at talking. Probably better than anyone you know. You will begin to see patterns of behaviour in the girls on a very high level, in fact in such detail that you will wonder how you ever didn't see it before.

Let me make it clear that although you can avoid doing this stuff, and still get a girlfriend and live a happy life, guys who understand this stuff (most of them naturals) will consistently mess around with your girlfriend behind your back and you won't know, unless you do this. Trust me, you have NO IDEA what goes on, or what this special girl has been up to behind your back. No clue. Trust me on this, take my word for it - there is no avoiding it. Get in the game and in two years you will look back and see everything that really went on between the two of you, and you will really see where you actually stood.
-TD

 

[Juggalo]

*Raises Hand* Newbie Here!

What does LTR stand for?

Go over to her house and refuse to go away until you can say "Bye" to her and see her before she leaves. Don't let her get mad at you either....you don't want her mad at your or anything right before she leaves.