Upgrading plate to GF status

[Bingo-Player]

Im starting to become close to one of my plates and i haven’t quite finished screening yet but i think shes got some serious potential for an LTR

Atm she knows im a player and don’t want commitment , this i think being part of the reason shes so attracted to me

Problem Is i have extremely little experience in relationships and don’t have the first clue about how to go about upgrading this chick slowly from plate to girlfriend ?

What foundations do i need to be putting in place ?

A few issues relevant to this situation

we are both a big part of a large social circle and where our unity would strengthen the group even further , but if anything went sour it could cause serious problems hence why i need to make sure if she becomes my Girl it’s going to have to stay that way for a while

her best friend has got a serious thing for me and we are a couple of whispers away from a very complicated triangle

her last BF cheated on her really badly and i think shes got a couple of trust issues nothing major , but how i do need to play that ?

again like i said i have next to no experience in relationships and not many of my friends do either so im really struggling for advice here lol

 

[stevo]

Understandably some plates you'd like to be gfs but you also have to make sure its not just oneitis disguised as deep affection. Upgrading to gf status should happen on its own without you necessarily making it happen, just natural progression after validation. The both of you would start spending more time together doing things that doesn't always involve seks.

Do not say the words let your actions do the talking, hopefully the feeling is mutual. Best of luck.

 

[Bingo-Player]

so basically just sit back and relax

 

[Fireballs]

Leave all that relationship stuff for the girl to bring up. That way you will know if she actually does want a relationship with YOU. If you brought it up, even if she said yes to become your gf, you will never know if she really wanted to.

If she wants exclusivity with you, she WILL bring it up.

 

[Bingo-Player]

thanks fellas ,

think i may have been slightly too emotional with her on the weekend gonna go ghost for a few days and revaluate the situation

 

[gravityeyelids]

As other poster have said already, as a man, it is NEVER your job to initiate the relationship or bring it up. You WILL eventually have to have "the talk". The "what are we" talk.

I would highly advise that you screen her at the very least for a couple months. Girls are very good at hiding their craziness or unattractive qualities for long periods of time in order to sell themselves. Then, when they hook you into a relationship, they slack off and show there true colors. Make sure that she is not this type of girl.

Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't slip up or get needy. Keep your game tight and be slightly standoffish and aloof. Make her wonder if you've got other girls you're seeing but never admit to it or give her any OVERT signs that you are. If she asks just say "we're both single...we're free to talk to who we want.

Do not go after her BFF. This doesn't need explanation.

One thing to be aware of. The "player vibe" is okay, at first, and with girls that you're just banging. You need to cool it a bit on that once you start seeing her for a while and start getting more into the "dating" mode. If you string her along too long and make her feel like she's just being used....then once you date her she will resent you for it. High quality girls especially (aka the ones you want to date), will not put up with as much sh!t as more desperate ones. So if you blantantly bang other girls and flirt with them and flaunt it in her face, she is going to bail on you to keep her dignity and reputation. You can get away with A LOT as a high quality/alpha/DJ/whatever, just be aware of the limitations and dont let it go to your head. Do not become beta, just be aware of this.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Thanks Gravity some great words of advice there il take note

Yea I’ve known this chick for years as both friend and lover i don’t think she’s mental she comes from a good stable family

think she just expects loyalty and honesty she’s that type of girl

What im concerned about is her career ambitions she is young (21) but i need to do some more screening around her goals for the next 5 years

We are going away as a group next weekend so im gonna act very aloof towards her and see if i can stir up what shes really feeling about me

The friend is coming as well and its going to be a real test for me not to try anything with her because she is fvcking sexy :/

I think your right though gravity if i try anything the whole lot is gonna blow up in my face

But im not gonna write anything off just yet