Updated: Confess my love?

[Single_Sucks]

2000 - Start liking this girl, who is also my friend, at this time we are 16 years old.

2001 - ask her out, she agrees and we go on one date but that's it

2003 - I walk her home from a big party and then have sex with her (1st time)

2004 - Begin relationship with totally different girl

2005 - End relationship with other girl, single again. Almost immediately the original girl I like invites me to have sex with her again on a regular basis, so we do. She also seems to do random things like holding my hand.

2006 - Having casual sex with her on a regular basis, I ask her if she wants to get serious with me a couple of times but she declines. We keep having sex.

2007 - Still sleeping with her regularly. But then suddenly she starts declining opportunities for sex, making excuses etc. I decide to play it cool and not chase her but still no more sex is coming my way.

2008 - On 2 occasions I have snogged her again, just very breif encounters. Playing it cool still, still no sex. Almost confessed my love, but didn't

September 2008 - Go to a party, make some moves on her, we go to her place and have sex for the first time in a year. Wake up in her bed the next morning and have sex again. Then she asks to come to my place and we cuddle up on the couch together, eat pizza and watch a movie.

NOW - Since then there has been no communication between us, and I don't plan to. Considering all the rejection she has given me in the past, I'm just going to ignore the fact that we acted like a total couple because I've had these kind of mixed messages before, which she just turned around somehow into rejecting me.



OPINIONS AND ADVICE ARE ALWAYS WELCOME ! THANKS

 

[get1]

wow - i'm having a similar situation but its compressed into 2 months and for different circumstances..girl just out of very very serious relationship..still a head **** never the less.

does she see you as a seducer and not as a husband/provider? As in are you very different form the usual kind of guys she goes for?

OR are there any other clues..I'd usually suggest play it cool, decline her when she wants to catch up and not always be there when she wants you but from the above it sounds like you've tried that..have you?

 

[governor]

Hey mate

I personally think that you didn't necessarily help your chances in 2003 and 2006. when you say you had sex for the first time in 2003, was that the start of regular, casual sex or was it a once-only?

Anyway, I'm a believer that the girl looks to the guy to see what the tone of the relationship is going to be and takes her cues from there. Therefore, it's up to you to lead the relationship one way or the other. Once when I was in high school (not that long ago) there was this girl I quite liked the year above me. Anyway we'd hooked up once before but one night we ended up sleeping together. Next morning her mate busts in and asks if we're "going out now or something." I look to her because I think, "right I'm going to find out what she's in this for." I could've swung either way at that point. She says "NO!!" emphatically and I assume that she was in it for the ONS. Months down the track she told me that she had liked me, but when I didn't ask her out on any dates she assumed I wasn't interested in a relationship. I told her about that morning and how I took her no to mean she wasn't interested. the look she gave me. Daggers.

Anyway sorry about the rant. 2006. She turns down your offers to get more serious, yet you continue to have casual sex with her. To me this is saying to her that you are okay with the casual thing. If you really liked her, and wanted a relationship with her, you should have cut the sex off after she declined you. That way she has to make a decision. Either she gets serious with you, or she gets nothing. And you don't get your feelings and yourself dragged through the mud.

2007. stopping chasing her is good, but you should have done that in 2006.

I don't really know what to say about the current situation because it seems you've decided to let it go. Is this correct? Anyway, I think, should you guys hook up again, you should ask her out on a date. If she accepts and it goes well, take her on another. Stop answering her booty calls, or meeting up with her on a saturday night just so both of you can get a lay. That kind of behaviour does not spell "I want a relationship" and by doing it you're only affirming the notion in her mind that you too are okay with nothing serious.

Anyway man, I'm not expert. But I hope you can get something out of that post. Even if you disagree. Best of luck.

Governor.

 

[Single_Sucks]

was that the start of regular, casual sex or was it a once-only?

That was just before I got involved with another girl. Being faithful I stopped it then. But once I had broken up with the other girl we continued in a regular way.

should you guys hook up again, you should ask her out on a date

Yes I did try this in 2006, but she totally rejected. It killed my game for a year if not more, I missed out on alot of sex. I have THE FEAR of that repeating itself.

If you really liked her, and wanted a relationship with her, you should have cut the sex off after she declined you. That way she has to make a decision.

Hmmm interesting. I don't think I can resist the sex though! I'll think about it.

As for what I want out of it, that's a damn good question. I want sex, but I also want her to be my girlfriend, but I don't want to risk losing the sex in trying to make her my girlfriend. But having her as my girlfriend would mean alot more sex!

 

[DonGorgon]

IN these situations its all about how she feels and what she wants... you have already made it clear that she can have you.. if she wants you.....
So you have given up up all power which is why she does not really want you... so got search for a new woman who wants you and keep using this one for sex if you like but stop being emotional about her.

 

[SharinganUser]

Move on dude. It was fun while it lasted but it's not healthy to continue this pattern.

 

[somebody2]

**** her **** her **** her **** her **** her **** her **** her **** her **** her....
**** other girls...
its nice isnt??
forget about her...
**** other women...

 

[Single_Sucks]

Well i have been dating other girls, had a LTR with one, and a couple of other one nighters.

I just didn't write about other girls in here to stop the post getting overcrowded with information, to keep it digestable so you guys could read it easily.

It's not as if I disagree though, other girls is definately a bonafide way out of this situation. As for how I feel now....any girl that is cuddling one second and cold the next, well a girl like that deserves indifference I think.