Update: Where Did I Go Wrong (Don't Fear, short read)

[Dante420]

Update on this failed thread (yeah I know it was a long read) - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=167386


So she called me to hang out and I spent some time chilling at her house then we went out, canceled the movie plans and went to dinner. She was broke so I paid but I told her she owes me a home cooked meal


She was great, she's a great conservationist, she talks and she even said thank you after the meal. She didn't know her family would be home (she lives with an older sibling) so we just rented some movies (once again I paid, and hit home).

She told me she wants to chill tomorrow and I laughed and she took that as me agreeing so I'm in for tomorrow. Jokingly I said "how about the next day?" and she was like "ya". I loved kinoing her, her body was great to touch.


Point out the bad elements in this and highlight where I went wrong

 

[jophil28]

Update on this failed thread (yeah I know it was a long read) - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=167386


So she called me to hang out and I spent some time chilling at her house then we went out, canceled the movie plans and went to dinner. She was broke so I paid but I told her she owes me a home cooked meal


She was great, she's a great conservationist, she talks and she even said thank you after the meal. She didn't know her family would be home (she lives with an older sibling) so we just rented some movies (once again I paid, and hit home).

She told me she wants to chill tomorrow and I laughed and she took that as me agreeing so I'm in for tomorrow. Jokingly I said "how about the next day?" and she was like "ya". I loved kinoing her, her body was great to touch.


Point out the bad elements in this and highlight where I went wrong

Why do you think that you screwed up?

 

[Dante420]

Why do you think that you screwed up?

Paying for dinner on a first date. . . or any date for that matter is a screw-up in my book.

I enjoyed the night and the dinner, matter of fact I didn't go for the dinner to impress her. . more because I'm hungry and I don't like fast food

 

[jophil28]

Paying for dinner on a first date. . . or any date for that matter is a screw-up in my book.

I enjoyed the night and the dinner, matter of fact I didn't go for the dinner to impress her. . more because I'm hungry and I don't like fast food

OH for gawd's sake ! You guys really believe all that PUA "advice" to the Nth degree and give it Gospel status .

Who paid for dinner with a woman on a first date or a 99th date is irrelevant you nitwit.
What matters is how you conduct yourself on those dates.
Were you calm, in control and courteous without supplication?
Did you skillfully toy with her enquiries about your life and your background, and feed her crumbs of info?
Did you present as confident and masculine without making off-color jokes or making sleezy remarks?

Did you NOT allow yourself to think about things to mention to impress her ?
Did you maintain a cool detachment but still show her indirectly that you MAY be interested in her ?
Did you carefully control your alcohol intake ?

Thats just a few ways to DO a date. Now get back out there and make some woman go weak in the knees instead of wasting time here posting about your food preferences and your BS beliefs about buying dinner for a woman.

 

[Dante420]

OH for gawd's sake ! You guys really believe all that PUA "advice" to the Nth degree and give it Gospel status .

Who paid for dinner with a woman on a first date or a 99th date is irrelevant you nitwit.
What matters is how you conduct yourself on those dates.
Were you calm, in control and courteous without supplication?
Did you skillfully toy with her enquiries about your life and your background, and feed her crumbs of info?
Did you present as confident and masculine without making off-color jokes or making sleezy remarks?

Did you NOT allow yourself to think about things to mention to impress her ?
Did you maintain a cool detachment but still show her indirectly that you MAY be interested in her ?
Did you carefully control your alcohol intake ?

Thats just a few ways to DO a date. Now get back out there and make some woman go weak in the knees instead of wasting time here posting about your food preferences and your BS beliefs about buying dinner for a woman.

I'm 17, I didn't get to have alcohol intake until after I left her house.

Not to say I'm not grateful for the advice but you kind of just reiterated every PUA tip they give, and I don't know if that's what you learned out of experience out of 52 years of living but a lot of people don't pick all that up without PUA advice. I'm sure all the PUAs who take a girl out for dinner don't have a second thought about paying a $50 bill, because they make 20x that per customer at their sessions. I did just about everything you said but there's a few things I'm worried about, after we got back to her place (to be honest I think she was planning on me spending the night, until she came back and saw she didn't have the house to herself)

One of the things I'm worried about is this girl actually struck interest, so I don't know if a kiss on the first day that I gave her (despite me delaying it until we got back to her place and threw the movie on) held as much meaning and I feel if I delayed the first kiss to a time more appropriate that 'memorable' first kiss girls adore that it would have made more of an impact on her.

She's a good kisser though.

 

[Asasione]

Why are you overthinking things? Dates don't have to be perfect and what Jophil was advising isn't PUA doctrine its common sense to anyone with experience. Memorable 'kiss' is a hollywood fantasy that idealizes a simple act, feelings vary depending on attraction and the situation, which can be artificially created to give a memorable kiss as you call it, Cassanova was good at creating fantasies for women. How you act is what matters and doesn't seem like you screwed up. Second guessing yourself about timing of a kiss is a fool's errand, only thing you should be thinking about is doing what you want. Your doing fine

 

[Dante420]

Why are you overthinking things? Dates don't have to be perfect and what Jophil was advising isn't PUA doctrine its common sense to anyone with experience. Memorable 'kiss' is a hollywood fantasy that idealizes a simple act, feelings vary depending on attraction and the situation, which can be artificially created to give a memorable kiss as you call it, Cassanova was good at creating fantasies for women. How you act is what matters and doesn't seem like you screwed up. Second guessing yourself about timing of a kiss is a fool's errand, only thing you should be thinking about is doing what you want. Your doing fine

I don't know about that, we hung out again today and we were bored at her house (her sister down stairs) so we left and went out to the only place we could think of on a Sunday. We ended going to the mall and we were going to eat there, and ONLY because I didn't like any of the food options there I decided to go out to eat at a restaurant AGAIN for the SECOND day in a row. How big of a hole am I digging myself into? We won't be hanging out tomorrow but two days in a row eating out, we went back to her place and couldn't do nothing - her sister downstairs and all and we just made out and I felt her all up and she was good with that. But I mean taking a girl out to eat two days in a row and paying, I told her if I keep taking her out I'm gonna make her start taking me out and she owes me a home cooked breakfast.

Still good?

 

[DonGorgon]

hmm.. watch out for the friend zone buddy..

 

[Asasione]

Your focus should be on having FUN and your 17 experiment and use your creativity to find interesting ways of enjoying yourself and she will be drawn to that reality. Who gives a fvck about her? Enjoy yourself that's what dating is about, things don't have to be up to your ideal outcome and even silences should'nt be your concern, just find the beauty in whatever your doing and have fun.

If you become friends that's another oppurtunity to practice material on her, use those relationships you build as you go along to learn and grow and stop being hung up on results. Women will always be there so IMO your doing fine simply cause your learning, work on one thing at a time.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

What do you want from her exactly .. Dating/ LTR?

Try escalating the Kino (Fingering/ French kissing) if you do or don't get pass this, it should be a good indicator to where you're fvcking up, from the looks of things, she seems to be into you but I can smell a pitfall if something isn't done or presented quicker and eventually pummeled into Friendzone hollowground.

I don't think you screwed up, just cause you payed for the meal?? Dude, if she's the type of girl to get high horsed over that, then you should think twice about hanging out with her. I wouldnt want a chick I'm seeing to pay for the meal WE ate, it takes my manly role away and anyway, its kinda friendzone having her pay, wouldnt you say?

 

[Dante420]

I'm really liking this girl to be honest, I'm taking her around in school and were getting plenty of attention together. She's very good, tells me what people are saying and stuff.


If I want to make her my girlfriend (very good situation, most of the time she has a house to herself)

how quick should I do this? I was thinking possibly this weekend, that's only one week of seeing each other but everyone's already asking if were going out. Should it be earlier than this weekend to avoid the friend zone?


That friend zone you mentioned sounds scary

 

[DonGorgon]

I'm really liking this girl to be honest, I'm taking her around in school and were getting plenty of attention together. She's very good, tells me what people are saying and stuff.


If I want to make her my girlfriend (very good situation, most of the time she has a house to herself)

how quick should I do this? I was thinking possibly this weekend, that's only one week of seeing each other but everyone's already asking if were going out. Should it be earlier than this weekend to avoid the friend zone?


That friend zone you mentioned sounds scary

Make sure U f or atleast get to third base before you make her your girl..

 

[Dante420]

She kinda mentioned something about not being the type to**** before a relationship begins but we all know what girls say and want are two different things.


So basically I needa get it in within the week or possibly be friend zoned? In this situation, the way I am I don't see friend zone happening. I got her eally aroused last night, ****ing shouldn't be a problem. Maybe just head?

 

[DonGorgon]

She kinda mentioned something about not being the type to**** before a relationship begins but we all know what girls say and want are two different things.


So basically I needa get it in within the week or possibly be friend zoned? In this situation, the way I am I don't see friend zone happening. I got her eally aroused last night, ****ing shouldn't be a problem. Maybe just head?

yeh you gotta let hr know that you know how to give her what she wants sexually.. if she is as hot as you say then she has plenty men begging show her whats up..

 

[Dante420]

yeh you gotta let hr know that you know how to give her what she wants sexually.. if she is as hot as you say then she has plenty men begging show her whats up..

She does, me and her were getting a lot of attention together today. Some of the girls that I spoke about in previous threads were sitting at a table stairing us up and down clearly talking about us as we walk by, if anything at least this will raise my social value when normally I don't value high school socialization (especially in the last few weeks)