Update on girl from gym

[sangheilios]

On my last thread I talked about a woman I had approached at my gym, who later came up to me, asked for a date and later flaked/disappeared.

Anyway, I saw her there today and we spoke for a bit. When I first approached her she mentioned how she supposedly had to get a new phone to explain why she hadn't gotten back to me, lol. I talked to her briefly and she then asks if I was doing anything later, very similar to what she did the last time when she asked for and agreed to a date. I then said I was going to be hanging out with one of my friends, which I really wasn't, and then shortly after mentioned I wanted to get back to my workout. The look on her face was priceless, like she was shocked I was walking away and ending the conversation with her.

Felt like an attempt to just string me along, which was why I declined and walked away. I had a feeling that if I had said sure she would have just pulled the same routine as before, as in send a text saying she can't make it and then just disappear.

 

[sosousage]

On my last thread I talked about a woman I had approached at my gym, who later came up to me, asked for a date and later flaked/disappeared.

Anyway, I saw her there today and we spoke for a bit. When I first approached her she mentioned how she supposedly had to get a new phone to explain why she hadn't gotten back to me, lol. I talked to her briefly and she then asks if I was doing anything later, very similar to what she did the last time when she asked for and agreed to a date. I then said I was going to be hanging out with one of my friends, which I really wasn't, and then shortly after mentioned I wanted to get back to my workout. The look on her face was priceless, like she was shocked I was walking away and ending the conversation with her.

Felt like an attempt to just string me along, which was why I declined and walked away. I had a feeling that if I had said sure she would have just pulled the same routine as before, as in send a text saying she can't make it and then just disappear.

you gangsta bro now keep this style and she will keep begging for ur attention

 

[Robert28]

Only thing I would have changed is when she asked if I was doing anything later, “yeah I have a date actually.” Throw that **** in her face! She would have regretted standing you up the rest of the day and saw that you have other options and move on quick instead of sit around wallowing in her bs she did to you, even if it was because of your neediness.

Hell I wouldn’t have even talked to her today or ever, unless she walked up to me and tapped me on the shoulder.

I can ignore women like nobody’s business. I love it too!

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Nice job. I would keep being friendly and chit-chatting with her, do NOT act butt-hurt. Let the convo continue for 1-3 mins or so and then end it to get back to your workout just like you did. If she asks again a couple more times or really starts to turn up the flirt, you can make the call yourself if you want to accept her date invite, but you have to know that she could flake again.

 

[lamath]

On my last thread I talked about a woman I had approached at my gym, who later came up to me, asked for a date and later flaked/disappeared.

Anyway, I saw her there today and we spoke for a bit. When I first approached her she mentioned how she supposedly had to get a new phone to explain why she hadn't gotten back to me, lol. I talked to her briefly and she then asks if I was doing anything later, very similar to what she did the last time when she asked for and agreed to a date. I then said I was going to be hanging out with one of my friends, which I really wasn't, and then shortly after mentioned I wanted to get back to my workout. The look on her face was priceless, like she was shocked I was walking away and ending the conversation with her.

Felt like an attempt to just string me along, which was why I declined and walked away. I had a feeling that if I had said sure she would have just pulled the same routine as before, as in send a text saying she can't make it and then just disappear.

I like how you dismiss her, however i dont like you accepting a date.
without making her work for it. She already flaked once.

 

[Robert28]

Nice job. I would keep being friendly and chit-chatting with her, do NOT act butt-hurt. Let the convo continue for 1-3 mins or so and then end it to get back to your workout just like you did. If she asks again a couple more times or really starts to turn up the flirt, you can make the call yourself if you want to accept her date invite, but you have to know that she could flake again.

And your last line is why I wouldn’t waste my time on her ever again. Piss on her meaningless friendly chats in the gym. She can go to hell for all I care. I wouldn’t act butthurt but I’m not stupid either. She had her chance, she chose to play games and talk herself out of the date, she can die for all I care.

 

[AttackFormation]

validation eco-system.

Nice term.

And your last line is why I wouldn’t waste my time on her ever again. Piss on her meaningless friendly chats in the gym. She can go to hell for all I care. I wouldn’t act butthurt but I’m not stupid either. She had her chance, she chose to play games and talk herself out of the date, she can die for all I care.

All right, now put the gun down Robert... lol

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Hahahaha

 

[Robert28]

Nice term.



All right, now put the gun down Robert... lol

Lol no not THAT crazy. I just mean once I’ve been rejected I never try harder. I completely shut down towards that person and they can never raise my interest level again. If you reject me, fine, but don’t try to talk to me ever again because I’ll ignore you and if they see that as butthurt that’s fine. I don’t care how they view me after they’ve rejected me because they already made their mind up about me, I won’t try to change their opinion because it no longer matters to me.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

That's an ok approach to handle women who reject you, but personally I feel it's a bit immature and if other women see you totally ignore someone like that, it sends a bad message. Also, it isn't like she committed a crime or really did you wrong. This isn't someone who slept with your best friend while you were in an LTR. It's just a girl who flaked, and flaking is a core characteristic of most women. I see no reason not to be friendly in passing, but not give them any validation. If you want to view it through an angry vendictive lens, then know that acting this way is more likely to cause her to second guess herself and feel like she missed out, than simply ignoring her completely which only affirms she made the right decision to flake on you. But I get that you probably don't care what she thinks one way or the other.

 

[Robert28]

That's an ok approach to handle women who reject you, but personally I feel it's a bit immature and if other women see you totally ignore someone like that, it sends a bad message. Also, it isn't like she committed a crime or really did you wrong. This isn't someone who slept with your best friend while you were in an LTR. It's just a girl who flaked, and flaking is a core characteristic of most women. I see no reason not to be friendly in passing, but not give them any validation. If you want to view it through an angry vendictive lens, then know that acting this way is more likely to cause her to second guess herself and feel like she missed out, than simply ignoring her completely which only affirms she made the right decision to flake on you. But I get that you probably don't care what she thinks one way or the other.

No I mean I would say hey and smile in passing if I had to walk by her. But damn if I’m going to stop my workout to talk to her because she cane over. I’m good at ignoring them without them really knowing if I’m ignoring them. What I mean is I’ll know she’s in the gym same time as me, but I’ll make sure to never look in her direction or make myself appear to be available for her to walk up and talk to me. Now, maybe she catches me on the way to the water fountain while I’m refilling my bottle and that’s fine. I’ll talk just long enough for it to fill up, take a sip and say “well I better get back to work, see you later”. This whole standing around talking to them after the flaked is for the birds. They know it was wrong, you know it was wrong, otherwise she wouldn’t have strolled her happy ass up to him again. She felt guilty and I’d let that guilt eat her alive. She would have to ask me out, because I’ll never ask her out again. And then I’d strongly think about flaking on her. I’m vindictive like that, I don’t care about losing her but I love to make a point.

 

[sangheilios]

Nice job. I would keep being friendly and chit-chatting with her, do NOT act butt-hurt. Let the convo continue for 1-3 mins or so and then end it to get back to your workout just like you did. If she asks again a couple more times or really starts to turn up the flirt, you can make the call yourself if you want to accept her date invite, but you have to know that she could flake again.

Honestly, at this point I'll probably just say hi to her if I pass by her or something but not go out of my way to talk to her. However, if she does in fact approach me I will be friendly with her, but I'm not going to ask her out or make any sort of move. She has already proven herself to be flaky and a bit of a liar, and she took it upon herself to go through all of this for literally no reason, so it would be unrealistic for me to expect her to behave much differently from here on out.

It's actually pretty normal for attractive women to behave like this nowadays. They have a lot of abundance. As a guy, you are just part of her validation eco-system. Don't look into it more than what it is. She was just strolling along and a potential to be validated popped up in her eco-system so she decided to entertain it. It's actually pretty impersonal for her. As soon as you left, she probably went on her phone and hit up another guy. There's always another guy.

You are playing the game as if it's a one-on-one thing. But it's not. It's you v.s her infinite validation. There is no rhyme or reason for her actions. No consistency. Just swimming in validation without a care in the world. Having sex whenever she is in the mood. Flaking on guys when she doesn't feel like following up. No accountability whatsoever.

Now, one way for you to escape this role of validator is to stop giving it away so freely. Or at least be more selfish. There are two ways you can go about it. Either act more indifferent and make women earn your interest, or be more sexually aggressive and get something out of it. Personally for me, I choose the sexually aggressive route. If a woman is stringing me along for validation, I'm going to make sure I get something out of it by physically escalating on her. A trade for a trade. I give you some of this if you give me some of that. Win - win for both parties.

What you are doing right now - you are not being indifferent and you are not being greedy. You have to choose a path. The indifference route is more screening for a relationship and the aggressive path is screening for sex.

I realize that none of this is personal and that she has and does this to a lot of other guys as well. I realize that most likely this will not turn into anything beyond trivial flirting in the gym, so for me I'd be better off just keeping it on a friendly level, as in say hi if I walk past her but not much more than that.

 

[jaymbrs]

Honestly, at this point I'll probably just say hi to her if I pass by her or something but not go out of my way to talk to her. However, if she does in fact approach me I will be friendly with her, but I'm not going to ask her out or make any sort of move. She has already proven herself to be flaky and a bit of a liar, and she took it upon herself to go through all of this for literally no reason, so it would be unrealistic for me to expect her to behave much differently from here on out.

Exactly. Just be cool. I've had some of these turn into something eventually. And if anything she might have hot friends to introduce you to. It's all about networking.

 

[Robert28]

Exactly. Just be cool. I've had some of these turn into something eventually. And if anything she might have hot friends to introduce you to. It's all about networking.

Not women like her, they won’t. There’s women that stick you in the friend zone for their ego when they have a lull in their dating life and then there’s women where you and her both realize you’re better off as friends. This woman screams the first one because she will sabatoge every future girl he tries to date and if she ever did set him up it would be with her ugliest friend, not her better looking ones.

 

[jaymbrs]

Not women like her, they won’t. There’s women that stick you in the friend zone for their ego when they have a lull in their dating life and then there’s women where you and her both realize you’re better off as friends. This woman screams the first one because she will sabatoge every future girl he tries to date and if she ever did set him up it would be with her ugliest friend, not her better looking ones.

I've been given the LJBF talk before and still meet her friends.

 

[Robert28]

I've been given the LJBF talk before and still meet her friends.

How many years ago was that? Reason I ask is women aren’t doing the LJBF speech anymore, they won’t even tell you you’re just friends. If you don’t know what you’re doing you can waste months in it. At least they used to warn you, now you just have to know for yourself.

 

[sangheilios]

Not women like her, they won’t. There’s women that stick you in the friend zone for their ego when they have a lull in their dating life and then there’s women where you and her both realize you’re better off as friends. This woman screams the first one because she will sabatoge every future girl he tries to date and if she ever did set him up it would be with her ugliest friend, not her better looking ones.

It really is in your best interest to not act upset with her and just be casually friendly with her whenever you see her. While it is understandable to be upset with a woman who randomly flaked on you, showing her that you feel this way makes you look far worse than her, as stupid as it sounds. By doing this she can justify why she didn't go out with you to herself and an even worse thing would be that she would go and talk a bunch of **** about you to tons of other people, this is something I had to learn a while ago the hard way. If you are indifferent to the whole thing I would never see that as a means to try to win her over somehow, but it makes you look like the good guy and her just look like a girl playing games.

Always try to see things as building up your reputation instead of behaving in a manner that could potentially tarnish it, as this will not at all benefit you in any way.

 

[backseatjuan]

Geez, you don’t seem to be leaving these women alone. Gym’s aw territory. When someone going to the gym they are hot and have options. Keep working.

 

[jaymbrs]

How many years ago was that? Reason I ask is women aren’t doing the LJBF speech anymore, they won’t even tell you you’re just friends. If you don’t know what you’re doing you can waste months in it. At least they used to warn you, now you just have to know for yourself.

Honestly, 1 year ago. Coincidentally it's the chick I spoke about in my first thread here. Even though it went nowhere with her, 2 of her girl friends were interested in me. Unfortunately for them, I had moved away and was not going to make the logistical effort to hang out with them.

 

[John9999]

On my last thread I talked about a woman I had approached at my gym, who later came up to me, asked for a date and later flaked/disappeared.

Anyway, I saw her there today and we spoke for a bit. When I first approached her she mentioned how she supposedly had to get a new phone to explain why she hadn't gotten back to me, lol. I talked to her briefly and she then asks if I was doing anything later, very similar to what she did the last time when she asked for and agreed to a date. I then said I was going to be hanging out with one of my friends, which I really wasn't, and then shortly after mentioned I wanted to get back to my workout. The look on her face was priceless, like she was shocked I was walking away and ending the conversation with her.

Felt like an attempt to just string me along, which was why I declined and walked away. I had a feeling that if I had said sure she would have just pulled the same routine as before, as in send a text saying she can't make it and then just disappear.

Another story to stress my attitude. Dating sucks. It is the only situation in the world where a woman has such a huge advantage.