Update on #1 plate who shows no initiative

[TheCWord]

Update: Overall, I'm pretty disappointed in the amount of overthinking I've allowed myself to do here. Thought I was way past that kind of mental masturbation but I suppose you can only tame the AFC dragon rather than slay it.

After a (not-so-good) night's sleep I find myself regretting texting her. Really down on myself about that - I should've just stayed ghost. I talk about this girl being perfect GF material... but to me the perfect GF makes effort. She doesn't ignore me over the holidays.

We haven't made any solid plans to get together yet so I think I'll just tell her I got busy and then just disappear*. It's not my preference but she is not giving me much of a choice... I don't know if there's ever been a time in history when a man has demanded more attention from a woman and she was like, "Omg I'm so glad you brought that up! I was only being so distant because I thought you only considered me a f-buddy!"

I have probably allowed Plate #2 to rush me into things here. She started talking exclusivity which got me thinking I better check with #1, cause I'd rather be exclusive with her, and next thing you know I'm about to force the issue, which never works out well. I agree with Mauser that there's something to be said for getting a straight answer from her... but I just feel like I've outgrown asking girls how they feel about me. I have an undefeated streak of maintaining the power dynamic with girls for about a year now, I'm not about to give it up on the off-chance that Plate #1 has been holding back because she's been waiting for me to bring up the topic.

I suppose another option is to retrain my brain to think of Plate 1 as a f-buddy, try to calm down Plate 2 and keep that going a while longer, and then just see how things shake out... but the more I think about it, as affectionate as Plate 1 is in person, her inaction in absence is really insulting me.

*I reserve the right to change my mind 100 more times.

Dude she's been treating you like a fvck buddy this whole time.

True. Although it is odd that we'd spend so much time together before and after the sex - and the type of activities we'd be doing were very BF-GF. She'd always hold my hand and hang off me in public. Those are all good signs, but it's hard for me to ignore the very big red flags... No merry christmas or happy new year? No christmas gift? (I was too embarrassed to tell you guys I got her one... we were scheduled to hang out and I didn't want to be left without one for her if she got one for me... I did the same thing with Plate #2 but she did in fact have gifts for me).

 

[TheCWord]

Agreed. Sometimes doing attraction-killing things like telling women to fvck off, calling them out, or even escalating the relationship yourself is worthwhile and in your own long term self interest, especially psychologically. People are way too worried about what some woman thinks of them.

I've followed that line of thinking many times but I don't think I ever actually felt better afterwards :\

Gotta wonder how much pride is playing into this... Sometimes I wonder if SoSuave is just turning me into a jerk who cuts bait way too early. It'd be different if I was just about banging as many women as possible and hitting up the clubs on weekends to get some more, but I've had my days of notching up the belt and I'm far too career-focused these days to go out and keep replacing these girls anytime my ego is bruised.

 

[TheCWord]

The solution is so blatant, it is screaming at you!

haha oh god I know it too.

I thought my days of second guessing everything I've learned on here were over. Glad you guys are here to see me through this apparent relapse.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

that's because us guys were dealt with the card for doing the pursuing, approaching, initiating, duh!, it is what it is, life is about dealing with it

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

No merry christmas or happy new year? No christmas gift? (I was too embarrassed to tell you guys I got her one... we were scheduled to hang out and I didn't want to be left without one for her if she got one for me...

I wonder if she's saying the same thing? And I wonder if that's a good or a bad thing....

I'd still give it to her. Fvck it. Fvck em.

Also, this may be a good opportunity. Say, I had this present for you but I didn't hear from you.

Boom, maybe that will get her talking.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Women are passive, deal with it!