UPDATE: My date left with another guy! WTF??

[BADA-BING]

Ok I don't know if it was a mistake or not but I emailed this chick in my previous post(before I posted on the DJ forum). I felt that I needed to tell her that what she did was sh*tty and uncalled for. I needed to do it to get it off of my chest and so she knew that it wasn't ok.
(some small changes were made to protect people)

This is her reply:
"Bada-Bing-
First of all, it was way out of line for me to drive you down there then get wasted and expect you to find your own way home (and leave you responsible for my car). That was ****ty and out of character for me. I didn't know any of the guys except "blank", and I will definitely be going to hell for leaving the bar with him. He is not only "blank's" friend but my GOOD friend, "Blank's" ex. I'm not sure I could put myself in the middle of any more drama this week. Keep that little tidbit to yourself, please. Moral of the story, I need to make some better decisions and not get so drunk when making them! I think you are the cat's meow but the timing really just couldn't be worse for us. I really value your friendship and having someone to talk to about all our shared issues and would never want to jeopardize that (any more than I already have, at least.) Nothing was done to try to make you jealous, if anything, maybe to reassure myself that nothing would happen between us after another night drinking, but that clearly wasn't the best way to go about it. So, I am flattered that you feel the way you do but can't imagine any way anything more than friendship could go down. At least for now. I'm sooooo sorry again for ditching out on you. So, I will be spending some time NOT drinking and getting my **** together over the next week or so. I'm glad everything's is out in the open and that you feel comfortable enough to say what's going through your head!"

Any input on this?? It sounds genuine and nice but according to her actions, she is breaking things off.

 

[Latinoman]

Ok I don't know if it was a mistake or not but I emailed this chick in my previous post. I felt that I needed to tell her that what she did was sh*tty and uncalled for. I needed to do it to get it off of my chest and so she knew that it wasn't ok.
(some small changes were made to protect people)

This is her reply:
"Bada-Bing-
First of all, it was way out of line for me to drive you down there then get wasted and expect you to find your own way home (and leave you responsible for my car). That was ****ty and out of character for me. I didn't know any of the guys except "blank", and I will definitely be going to hell for leaving the bar with him. He is not only "blank's" friend but my GOOD friend, "Blank's" ex. I'm not sure I could put myself in the middle of any more drama this week. Keep that little tidbit to yourself, please. Moral of the story, I need to make some better decisions and not get so drunk when making them! I think you are the cat's meow but the timing really just couldn't be worse for us. I really value your friendship and having someone to talk to about all our shared issues and would never want to jeopardize that (any more than I already have, at least.) Nothing was done to try to make you jealous, if anything, maybe to reassure myself that nothing would happen between us after another night drinking, but that clearly wasn't the best way to go about it. So, I am flattered that you feel the way you do but can't imagine any way anything more than friendship could go down. At least for now. I'm sooooo sorry again for ditching out on you. So, I will be spending some time NOT drinking and getting my **** together over the next week or so. I'm glad everything's is out in the open and that you feel comfortable enough to say what's going through your head!"

Any input on this?? It sounds genuine and nice but according to her actions, she is breaking things off.

Dude...are you paying attention to the first thread? You go out of a limb and EMAIL her WITHOUT asking for our advice FIRST???

What's wrong with you? You made a HUGE mistake emailing her and sharing with her "your feelings"? WTF?

And by the way...who is the other chick in the other thread...the one about "He is not into you" book stuff?

 

[thissucks003]

Any input on this?? It sounds genuine and nice but according to her actions, she is breaking things off.

What is there to say. She dumped you twice! Once verbally, twice on email!

 

[BADA-BING]

I sent the email the next day after I dropped off her car when I was all pissed off. So I had not even posted on DJ forum yet. I realized I made many mistakes and I am now trying to learn from them.

Hind site is always clearer.

 

[Latinoman]

I sent the email the next day after I dropped off her car when I was all pissed off. So I had not even posted on DJ forum yet. I realized I made many mistakes and I am now trying to learn from them.

Hind site is always clearer.

That's cool.

If you have sexual interest for her...then you might as well stop contact communication (other than normal polite pleasantries).

 

[MacAvoy]

Ok I don't know if it was a mistake or not but I emailed this chick in my previous post. ...

Any input on this?? It sounds genuine and nice but according to her actions, she is breaking things off.

I have no idea why you would have posted this. Except maybe to embarrass yourself OR the real reason. You've got oneitis for this girl. Why else would you be all upset if you supposedly have a steady girlfriend.

Finally by reading the actions in your post, your genuinely still interested in this women. "I don't know if it was a mistake ... I emailed this chick" Then you finish it off, with building her up "it sounds genuine and nice"

You haven't learnt a thing. I'm finished helping someone who refuses to take advice and delves deeper into AFC'dom.

 

[BADA-BING]

MacAvoy, I would not call it oneitis, i just liked her and things seemed to be going well between us before this crap went down.

I have made many mistakes and I am trying to learn from them. The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. I am just trying to learn when and where I went wrong so that I don't repeat.

The other girl is another that I have been seeing. She is not my girlfriend just one of my last spinning plates that hasn't fallen and broken yet.

 

[speed dawg]

The other girl is another that I have been seeing. She is not my girlfriend just one of my last spinning plates that hasn't fallen and broken yet.

Dude, for you, I recommend completely forgetting about girls, but still being open to them for about six months. Don't call them. Let them come to you completely or do without. Spend your time doing something that doesn't involve women, emotions, and sex until you find out that dumb sh!t is not worth worrying about. I suggest getting out of town for the weekends, hunting, and when it gets warmer, lots of golf, flying lessons, etc. Who knows what you could do at work if you devoted as much energy to it as you do women. Just sayin'...

 

[Desdinova]

Any input on this?? It sounds genuine and nice but according to her actions, she is breaking things off.

I believe she broke things off when this happened:

she says that maybe the sunday night hookup wasn't a good idea and maybe it was a mistake...blah blah blah...I like someone else...blah blahh...

You should have cut her loose when she said that. Oh well, no time like the present, right?

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Well said, Speed.


I've been where this guy IS. Many of us have. And it's NOT pretty---reaching for something that really ISN'T there. Trying to read low interest as if it were HIGH interest. But as we have all come to know, most times in situations like this, to expect the BEST is really the triumph of HOPE over EXPERIENCE. Which usually leads to an emotional deadend for us...
So hopefully, he will take your advice SERIOUSLY.

BADA-BING, know this:

Women (our sexual attraction to them) is sometimes like a legal drug. And if you use them in a way OTHER than as directed (SEE----abnormal use = AB-USE = Abuse), you could end up as addicted and hurt by them as ANY "illegal" substance.

This site is here to help all of us RECOGNIZE our problem and get help. Just keep focusing on the "getting help and helping YOURSELF" part of this equation.

The more you find yourself, and you are PLEASED by WHAT you find, the more you'll be able to control your cravings for ANY particular woman rather than letting those cravings control YOU.

Do this, and the addiction and the withdrawal symptoms WILL take care of themselves.




Peace...one day.

 

[KarmaSutra]

What is there to say. She dumped you twice! Once verbally, twice on email!

one plus two would equal . . .:crackup:

 

[blueguy]

I believe she broke things off when this happened:



You should have cut her loose when she said that. Oh well, no time like the present, right?

Yes, you have to show some respect for yourself! She may act nice to you because she still wants something from you - and that is your attention to feed her ego. But forget about ever being something with her because she knows you are a pushover. And women don't usually make statements like "was a mistake, let's be friends, etc." unless you communicated to her through your actions beforehand that you would be her pushover. Try to figure out what you're saying/doing to women that gives them the idea they can get away with that stuff. Draw lines and learn when to walk away! Stop it at the small things before it gets bigger. It is really big now and if you keep pursuing her, you will just keep digging yourself deeper into her abyss.

 

[Vulpine]

This is some funny stuff. This guy is a Dr. Beard alias.

Why are you here? Seriously, you must have an IQ of like, 48. Forrest Gump had a higher IQ.

It's just like you are going after Jenny. You guys will be just like peas and carrots someday.

 

[squirrels]

Get.

A.

Life.

 

[Cenotaph]

I really value your friendship and having someone to talk to about all our shared issues and would never want to jeopardize that .

Bada… She values your FRIENDSHIP.... and having SOMEONE TO TALK TO... subjects like another man's hog in her mouth...

Lose her as fast as you can... She's an Attn***** who uses alcohol to justify her love of hob nobbing (Not a bad thing, its just not your hob she‘s nobbin)…

Get rid of this broad and don’t contact her… :kick:

 

[Charm]

Let me summarize what everyone here is saying:

The lesson you need to learn here has nothing to do with this girl. It has to do with you. You came off as desperate, needy and an AFC by allowing somebody else to compromise your freedom with responibilites that they didn't want to own up to. In plain english, she put her keys in your direction, you say, "No. Your car is not my problem." and then taking a Taxi home. Always have a plan B escape plan. If she is driving, have money for a Taxi. Dont get stuck in your head that a persons Car is your only way home, it isn't.

You like plate theory, so read this:
Second, when someone makes it clear that they are not interested in you, don't keep pestering them by phone, email, whatever. Move on, take the higher ground and find new plates to spin. STOP being afraid of having no plates spinning. If all your plates fall down and break, find new ones, start spinning them. You seem to me to be afraid of having "nothing going for you" but by acting desperate, you are destroying everything you do have going for you. Be confident by choosing to be, right here, right now. Dont give in to weak ideas like emailing someone after they dump you.

I want to see you get back on the ball with a new girl or two within the next 2 weeks. You obviously have some PU figured out, so get your ass in gear and work at it.

 

[MatureDJ]

I really value your friendship and having someone to talk to about all our shared issues and would never want to jeopardize that

Nothing more needs to be said. In her eyes, you are friend, not a sp3rm donor.

 

[Last Man Standing]

WTF!!!

She gravely disrespected you!!! She blames it on her being drunk?? BUllshyt!!!

She used you - you were backup if nothing happened with other dudes!! Her g/f's didn't want to go out that night and women do not like going out alone soo she used you!!!

You should have left her car there and let it be towed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a cruel hor!!! Whatever you do don't talk to this hor again!!!!!!!!!!!

If she contacts you send her to hor hell!!!!

 

[azanon]

LMS: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1084882&postcount=15

I'm still waiting on your response.

Azanon

 

[CLOONEY]

I would have told her what I think, just to let her know she is a sl*t, and then cut the contact. I find its easier to get what you want off your chest, and then move on with it. Some say cut contact and walk away, which works also, but its easier for me to say what I need to before I walk away. In the end, its only how you feel that counts.