"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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up in the air

Dummy

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well, well, well...
I've known this woman for a while. Just recently she started to show interest. Last Friday we went to the bar with some people we know and I could feel her vibeing me. She pretty much initiates contact more than i do.

Well this week i start asking her questions about her cuz i said I wanted to get to know her more. Some how in the mix of things today i asked if she wanted to go to the bar. She starts giving me some lame excuses. So I told her after we talked about some stuff that if she's not interested then to not bother with contacting me. I flat out told her I don't like having my time wasted.

Was I a bit harsh? Ha
I am some what of an ahole when it comes to my time being spent on a woman. Whats the point if it's pointless ya see.

I mean when a chic starts giving lame excuses it's time to be cut and dry.

Woops forgot the question. ha.
Think I screwed it up by telling her this?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jophil28

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Dummy said:
well, well, well...
I've known this woman for a while. Just recently she started to show interest. Last Friday we went to the bar with some people we know and I could feel her vibeing me. She pretty much initiates contact more than i do.

Well this week i start asking her questions about her cuz i said I wanted to get to know her more. Some how in the mix of things today i asked if she wanted to go to the bar. She starts giving me some lame excuses. So I told her after we talked about some stuff that if she's not interested then to not bother with contacting me. I flat out told her I don't like having my time wasted.

Was I a bit harsh? Ha
I am some what of an ahole when it comes to my time being spent on a woman. Whats the point if it's pointless ya see.

I mean when a chic starts giving lame excuses it's time to be cut and dry.

Woops forgot the question. ha.
Think I screwed it up by telling her this?
First things first. She sent you mixed signals. You got agitated and pushed her away. THat shows that you have self respect and an intolerance for a wacky woman's games
Women who do this do not deserve another moment of your time. Some guys here will encourage you to "outgame " her but why bother. IF you let her get away with one episode of mindfvcking she will do it again and again.

I am thinking AW.
 
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Jitterbug

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Dummy said:
well, well, well...
I've known this woman for a while. Just recently she started to show interest....
I think you're the backup plan, cos she failed with her top priority guys. Hence her sending you mixed signals.

She would've shown interest in you much earlier (like shortly after you got to know each other) if you had ranked higher on her list.

I don't think you were harsh at all. You did the right thing.
 

window

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always show class in the heat of the battle...
 

LoneSilver

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LOL! For a Dummy your pretty smart :crackup:

LoneSilver

Dummy said:
well, well, well...
I've known this woman for a while. Just recently she started to show interest. Last Friday we went to the bar with some people we know and I could feel her vibeing me. She pretty much initiates contact more than i do.

Well this week i start asking her questions about her cuz i said I wanted to get to know her more. Some how in the mix of things today i asked if she wanted to go to the bar. She starts giving me some lame excuses. So I told her after we talked about some stuff that if she's not interested then to not bother with contacting me. I flat out told her I don't like having my time wasted.

Was I a bit harsh? Ha
I am some what of an ahole when it comes to my time being spent on a woman. Whats the point if it's pointless ya see.

I mean when a chic starts giving lame excuses it's time to be cut and dry.

Woops forgot the question. ha.
Think I screwed it up by telling her this?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Dummy

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What do ya mean by class? an example if possible.
 

DJDamage

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window said:
always show class in the heat of the battle...
I agree.

The point is that this woman did not insult you or gave you real strong IOI's to show you that she was interested. You showed her your cards and she wasn't interested, simple enough.

I wouldn't say its harsh what you did, but it is unnecessary to confront a woman you never really went out with. Just move on without saying anything, its not like you went on a date with this woman and you expect a call or something.

Now this is harsh (don't become that guy):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I66aySW4le8&NR=1
 
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Dummy

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HAHA. Sunday night she texted me *****ing about me hardly talkin to her after the bar when we went to my friends apartment the weekend prior. I just told her it was awkward zeroing in on her because so many people were there talkin to me. I am flat and and to the point about crap. She calmed down after that and we hit it off as usual talking wise.
 

Vulpine

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Dummy said:
HAHA. Sunday night she texted me *****ing about me hardly talkin...
...She calmed down after that and we hit it off as usual talking wise.
Talking? Texting and talking are two different things. Texty games are like X-Box 360 for women.

What was the point? Wasn't it decided that it was pointless? But there you go, playing a b¡tch's texty games. Why?

:down: You're her attention tool, like, a vibrator for her brain; like, playing solitaire while at work.
 

thirdtimescharm

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Vulpine said:
Talking? Texting and talking are two different things. Texty games are like X-Box 360 for women.
Amen to this. I have been getting to know someone over the last 12 days, and while our text games were a great forum for us to display our sarcasm and laser-like witticisms, real steps toward building rapport have come in face to face time, or in a number of phone conversations we have had.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mintxx

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I would say that it is better off not to be a drama queen, since she may have hot friends. Acting desperate/impatient is not helpful to your rep. Saying that she should 'not bother contacting you' if she isn't interested in you is appropriate quite a bit further down the line, after you have fvcked a couple of times or she at least has given you some fairly consistent IOIs such as lots of touching and gooey eyes or sex talk. Otherwise it just suggests that you care too much, and that flirting is an effort for you.
 
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