Unwanted child and weak frame

Prosa

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Here is my story:

I'm 28 y.o. being in a relationship with a 39 y.o. Japanese girl and we've got a 11 month baby.

I was stupid enough to not take fully control of the contraception.

I was a blue pill guy (and still a bit for sure) until 3 days ago, as I just finished reading the rational male.

Due to a christian education and not really knowing what to do when she got pregnant, I couldn't tell her straight I wanted an abortion.

When I eventually told her I was not happy getting a child now, she told me there is no way she will abort and that she will raise him alone if necessary, ofc asking me to pay a child support.

I start thinking it was my fault for what happened (not wrong as I should have used a condom that time). I thought about her raising him alone and the kid not knowing his father. As she also threatened me to let know everyone including my workplace I left her being pregnant, I was scared it would have very bad consequences on my career and friends.

She suggested we get married as it's "the only solution" and "it's what's people do in this situation". I didn't really want to marry her but I was lost so I agreed to meet her parents. When they started talking about the wedding and other stuff I knew I was totally wrong so I changed my mind and told them later I don't want to get married anymore (best decision ever?).

My girlfriend was furious and hit me two or three times. I just thought I was selfish but would not change my mind. Her parents didn't tell me anything.

So I stayed with her but I wasn't happy and started being interested in others girls and read for the first time about the Game. I left her once two weeks before the birth but couldn't stop but feeling guilty so I got back to her.

I have kept secret the birth of my son from everyone except my family, really close male friends and some random people I meet in my life.

My family and relatives congratuled me but I didn't felt happy and I always feel strange when I tell people I have a son.

I'm now in a weird situation. I moved in the same city as my girlfriend parents for a better job. My girlfriend insisted that I move in an apartment her parents own and which is close to where they live. She also moved out and live with her parents for now as I have told her I don't want to live together for the moment.

I don't pay for the rent but I have to pay for the child support. I take care of my son (together with her or not) the weekend and see them sometimes on weekdays evening. I cheated on her once and she finded out. She threatened to sue me (her parents are both lawyers). Eventually we stayed together.

I had absolutely no evidence that she got pregnant on purpose but after reading the rational male it's pretty clear now. But again, no evidence so I can't officially put the all responsibility on her shoulders.

My problem is :
- I still have a guilty feeling when thinking about leaving them
- my son is ultra cute
- I'm very angry with the fact of paying a child support for a kid I didn't want while she did the choice to keep him
- the girl has lots of qualities (higly educated, talented, still quite cute, keen to have sex very often, good at it, a good mother, attentive, buy me things, not looking for my wallet, same values except following HER agenda...)

But they’re no way I will stay in this relationship. I want to focus on myself (career, hobbies, mental and physical health) and friends and of course get to know a lot of other girls.

My frame is too weak compared to her’s…and of course I feel bad about my son. I would like to be a good father but don't want to take care of him now. But I’m not sure I could tell her I don’t want to take care of him anymore as it would be probably the last time I could see him.

I have started a therapy as I feel this situation is the result of my family education and above all my violent father. I’m really afraid of having a dispute and I have strived to avoid becoming like my father which leads to being too submissive to the female gender/imperative (Rollo Tomassi explains that perfectly).

I feel a bit (totally?) lost though at the same time, I’m very happy to have found out the red pill. Most of my friends tell me I should think about myself only.

Have anyone experienced that ? How do you move on ? What about the unwanted kid ? How to get a stronger frame ?
 
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speed dawg

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Grow up, man. You have a son now, that is your priority. Keep reading red pill things, and hold the frame in your relationship.

If you truly don't want your son, leave. Let the woman find someone who does.

I don't play around when it comes to kids anymore. I will stop short of calling you a coward, but your son needs you. Either be the man he needs to leave so he at least has a fighting chance with someone else.

It's either this, or pull yourself together enough to fight her in child court, to try and get some custody.
 

markfromeurope

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Well, you knocked her up. Don't get married but raise your kid. It's what man would do.

When you phuck w/o condom things like that sometimes happen...

However, check if it's your child for sure in secret if you are not happy with her - DNA test will give you straight "yes/no" type of answer.
 

Machine10033

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If your the father be grateful and be a man for fck s sake! Like said above make sure the kid is yours and take pride in molding him into a man! Your other option is bail... let the kid watch his mom start riding the penor Ferriswheel.... hope she finds some decent beta provider for her and your kid and hope he doesn’t grown up a gender confused incel!
 

glass half full

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So you think maybe she wanted to get pregnant?
My ex wife tried this crap too, we were living together and just a few months in, she was on top and didn't want to stop or climb off. Happened several times.
One time I pushed her off me just in time, she was pizzed! I should have read into that better and walked..but then I wouldn't have the daughter I do now (that happened much later).
And frankly, I wouldn't want her to be different, I love her just as she is.

You will find a love unlike any other by keeping the child as yours. If you absolutely can't live with the mother, at least take some time for weekends to spend with your kid. You will find it really gratifying. It's better you and her at least get along, much easier on the kid. They are the ones who get hurt the most in any separation.

Bringing a new life into the world is a cool thing, embrace it if you can. But as others have said, if you just can't do it, make a quick, clean break and move on. She can find a Beta cuck to raise him.
 

Crown

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There are so many things wrong in your situation and you getting a kid isn't the worst one.

Op, you discovered the redpill and Rollo's book, these knowledge is dangerous in a new comer's hands. You're not disgusted by the mother of your kid, but by the fact she's stronger and more manipulative than you. Like every human, you cannot accept the fact that you're being dominated by someone else.

Life hit you like a truck. But there are many ways in which you can make a comeback and prosper.

First thing to do would be to reevaluate your options. You say you want to focus on yourself, that's of course the best thing to do, but what are your plans ? What's your job ? And even If you have a job, is it well paid ? Do you think you can get rid of that guilt ?

Look, your Gf is almost 40yo, she's desperate, she will have a hard time to find someone else. She's weaker than you think. The only difference is that she has money and her parents are rich. If she's 40, then they must be near 60. These people can die at any moment, leaving a big pack of money to your Gf and alternatively to you.
There are multiple exploitable options here. You say you want to focus on yourself... these people literally offer you an appartment to live in. You say you love your kid... this girl wants you to be close to him. You say you want to focus on your career, hobbies... and this girl will not take that away from you.

The main issue that pervents you to exploit all this options, is that you want to have a Don juan life: having your own appartment, going to bars, inviting hot chicks to your place.
This will please for maybe 2 years, but once you'll be done with that, the guilt will come back because you are a man. You have honor and you're a good person.
 

LARaiders85

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You owe it to your kid to be able to say something like this in adulthood.
 

sosousage

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Grow up, man. You have a son now, that is your priority. Keep reading red pill things, and hold the frame in your relationship.

If you truly don't want your son, leave. Let the woman find someone who does.

I don't play around when it comes to kids anymore. I will stop short of calling you a coward, but your son needs you. Either be the man he needs to leave so he at least has a fighting chance with someone else.

It's either this, or pull yourself together enough to fight her in child court, to try and get some custody.


you know i never understood people like men in my family and generally most men in society that somehow feel the need to have a child

like ... WHY?
 

GT40

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Dude you need to man up.
You don’t pay rent. Don’t want a family but get the GF Prego then leave.
You aren’t Red Pill my man. You didn’t lead didn’t take charge of this. You readily admitt her frame is stronger than yours.
You’re Beta still.
Yes she hit you which is crap but what did you do about it? Got her Prego why man why????
 
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rando5495

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Nobody should ever be putting their hands on you like that ever.

She sounds extremely repugnant, and deserving of a smack. That not being an option or a solution, you should cut her and her kid off. Be difficult, drag your feet through everything not giving an inch until she starts on some other donkey. And there's always some other donkey.

Enjoy your life single, or create a family properly in an environment that isn't so toxic.

Learn from it and get smarter. Everything is growth.
 

Prosa

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Thanks for all your comments !

What part of top form SMV 18-23 dont you cucks ? get?
Face and legs...?

Truth is I didn't have much sex experience with girls before her (1LTR and 2 one night stand), and never had sex with 18-25 girls.
So my mind and body are craving looking for that.

Dude you need to man up.
You don’t pay rent. Don’t want a family but get the GF Prego then leave.
You aren’t Red Pill my man. You didn’t lead didn’t take charge of this. You readily admitt her frame is stronger than yours.
You’re Beta still.
Yes she hit you which is crap but what did you do about it? Got her Prego why man why????
Well, I wrote I'm a Red Pill guy because I've connected the dots far better than before but you're totally right, I'm very far from being the Alpha Man.

she threatened u multiple times
she hit u
she old hag
u wastin life m8

i also like older women but theyre for sex only.. once u get 40 year old she will be 70 **** that thing will be sad to look at
She won't be 70 but yes, that's a problem. I was so blind until now so I didn't think too much about age differences as long as I was attracted physically and emotionnally.


You owe it to your kid to be able to say something like this in adulthood.
That's inspiring. Not sure I can do it though !



There are so many things wrong in your situation and you getting a kid isn't the worst one.

Op, you discovered the redpill and Rollo's book, these knowledge is dangerous in a new comer's hands. You're not disgusted by the mother of your kid, but by the fact she's stronger and more manipulative than you. Like every human, you cannot accept the fact that you're being dominated by someone else.

Life hit you like a truck. But there are many ways in which you can make a comeback and prosper.

First thing to do would be to reevaluate your options. You say you want to focus on yourself, that's of course the best thing to do, but what are your plans ? What's your job ? And even If you have a job, is it well paid ? Do you think you can get rid of that guilt ?

Look, your Gf is almost 40yo, she's desperate, she will have a hard time to find someone else. She's weaker than you think. The only difference is that she has money and her parents are rich. If she's 40, then they must be near 60. These people can die at any moment, leaving a big pack of money to your Gf and alternatively to you.
There are multiple exploitable options here. You say you want to focus on yourself... these people literally offer you an appartment to live in. You say you love your kid... this girl wants you to be close to him. You say you want to focus on your career, hobbies... and this girl will not take that away from you.

The main issue that pervents you to exploit all this options, is that you want to have a Don juan life: having your own appartment, going to bars, inviting hot chicks to your place.
This will please for maybe 2 years, but once you'll be done with that, the guilt will come back because you are a man. You have honor and you're a good person.
Thanks for your comment.
I fully understand that the red pill stuff should not lead to see evil everywhere (in any woman) and have a good excuse instead of taking full responsibilities. It has just helped me a bit to reevaluate more objectively the guilty feeling I had towards this issue.

I like my job, it is fullfilling and provides very good-working conditions. Money is not really the problem here. If I break up with her I will of course move out and pay the rent of my own apartement and pay for the child support. The latter is hard to accept yet as it was mainly her decision to keep the baby.

Sorry if you misunderstood, but I don't "love my kid". Or should I say selfishly, I love him but I don't want to lose my time for him. He's cute, it's okay playing with him for 15mn a day. After that I'm like "I really have more important things to do". I don't think much about him, about his future and education for ex. as I have not desired him. It might be bad and some others say on this topic I have to grow up, but it how I feel now.
Your interpretation of the situation is quite accurate and things won't be that bad if we stay together. It's just my gut feelings telling me to not settle down now.


So you think maybe she wanted to get pregnant?
My ex wife tried this crap too, we were living together and just a few months in, she was on top and didn't want to stop or climb off. Happened several times.
One time I pushed her off me just in time, she was pizzed! I should have read into that better and walked..but then I wouldn't have the daughter I do now (that happened much later).
And frankly, I wouldn't want her to be different, I love her just as she is.

You will find a love unlike any other by keeping the child as yours. If you absolutely can't live with the mother, at least take some time for weekends to spend with your kid. You will find it really gratifying. It's better you and her at least get along, much easier on the kid. They are the ones who get hurt the most in any separation.

Bringing a new life into the world is a cool thing, embrace it if you can. But as others have said, if you just can't do it, make a quick, clean break and move on. She can find a Beta cuck to raise him.
Wow, my girl did the same several times. But first times I didn't think she could do in order to get pregnant (so naive I was...). So your daughter was unexpected ?

Thank you for your comment. It sums up what my options are.
 

AJ84

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Thanks for all your comments !



Face and legs...?

Truth is I didn't have much sex experience with girls before her (1LTR and 2 one night stand), and never had sex with 18-25 girls.
So my mind and body are craving looking for that.



Well, I wrote I'm a Red Pill guy because I've connected the dots far better than before but you're totally right, I'm very far from being the Alpha Man.



She won't be 70 but yes, that's a problem. I was so blind until now so I didn't think too much about age differences as long as I was attracted physically and emotionnally.



That's inspiring. Not sure I can do it though !





Thanks for your comment.
I fully understand that the red pill stuff should not lead to see evil everywhere (in any woman) and have a good excuse instead of taking full responsibilities. It has just helped me a bit to reevaluate more objectively the guilty feeling I had towards this issue.

I like my job, it is fullfilling and provides very good-working conditions. Money is not really the problem here. If I break up with her I will of course move out and pay the rent of my own apartement and pay for the child support. The latter is hard to accept yet as it was mainly her decision to keep the baby.

Sorry if you misunderstood, but I don't "love my kid". Or should I say selfishly, I love him but I don't want to lose my time for him. He's cute, it's okay playing with him for 15mn a day. After that I'm like "I really have more important things to do". I don't think much about him, about his future and education for ex. as I have not desired him. It might be bad and some others say on this topic I have to grow up, but it how I feel now.
Your interpretation of the situation is quite accurate and things won't be that bad if we stay together. It's just my gut feelings telling me to not settle down now.




Wow, my girl did the same several times. But first times I didn't think she could do in order to get pregnant (so naive I was...). So your daughter was unexpected ?

Thank you for your comment. It sums up what my options are.
You didn’t ask for this child and this child didn’t ask to be born, but here he is.

If you don’t want to be a part of this child’s life, and it sounds like you don’t, be honest with her about this. There may be some fall out but she did say she would raise the child on her own and sounds like money isn’t an issue.

It’s honestly better for a child to be around people who actually care and want to be a part of their lives, so sticking around but seeing him as an inconvenience will have a negative effect on him which should be prevented from happened, because again, while you didn’t want this child, this child also didn’t ask to be born and shouldn’t grow up feeling that you didn’t want him.

And she herself should not be exposing her son to someone who she knows didn’t want him. If she wanted kids that badly and you didn’t she stood of left you and just paid for a surrogate or go to a sperm bank or something, but she sucked you into this situation and she’s at fault for that.

And use condoms in the future, maybe date younger girls who don’t want kids or serious relationships yet.
 

glass half full

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Thanks for all your comments !



Face and legs...?

Truth is I didn't have much sex experience with girls before her (1LTR and 2 one night stand), and never had sex with 18-25 girls.
So my mind and body are craving looking for that.



Well, I wrote I'm a Red Pill guy because I've connected the dots far better than before but you're totally right, I'm very far from being the Alpha Man.



She won't be 70 but yes, that's a problem. I was so blind until now so I didn't think too much about age differences as long as I was attracted physically and emotionnally.



That's inspiring. Not sure I can do it though !





Thanks for your comment.
I fully understand that the red pill stuff should not lead to see evil everywhere (in any woman) and have a good excuse instead of taking full responsibilities. It has just helped me a bit to reevaluate more objectively the guilty feeling I had towards this issue.

I like my job, it is fullfilling and provides very good-working conditions. Money is not really the problem here. If I break up with her I will of course move out and pay the rent of my own apartement and pay for the child support. The latter is hard to accept yet as it was mainly her decision to keep the baby.

Sorry if you misunderstood, but I don't "love my kid". Or should I say selfishly, I love him but I don't want to lose my time for him. He's cute, it's okay playing with him for 15mn a day. After that I'm like "I really have more important things to do". I don't think much about him, about his future and education for ex. as I have not desired him. It might be bad and some others say on this topic I have to grow up, but it how I feel now.
Your interpretation of the situation is quite accurate and things won't be that bad if we stay together. It's just my gut feelings telling me to not settle down now.




Wow, my girl did the same several times. But first times I didn't think she could do in order to get pregnant (so naive I was...). So your daughter was unexpected ?

Thank you for your comment. It sums up what my options are.
Actually my daughter was planned...I do have questions in the back of my mind about the first two attempts to get pregnant on purpose, they both miscarried. Ex's Mom tried to abort her when she was preggo, by drinking turpentine. So maybe their family fruit doesn't fall far from the tree?

In retrospect when my ex told me this, it should have registered as a red flag...several things should have, really. Blue Pill conditioning.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Thanks for all your comments !



Face and legs...?

Truth is I didn't have much sex experience with girls before her (1LTR and 2 one night stand), and never had sex with 18-25 girls.
So my mind and body are craving looking for that
There is no ambiguity as a DJ and in game.

Gane recognises game.

Top form SMV 18-23, ie best yrs is the bench mark.. Anything but is second fiddle. As in, if hawtttt, fit, thin, attractive, baeeeees will catch hell but, only if nothing younger is in rotation.


Well, I wrote I'm a Red Pill guy because I've connected the dots far better than before but you're totally right, I'm very far from being the Alpha Man.
A lot of trp guys play house. Hunter drew patriarchy edition married a woman who cucked him. This is called delusional.

Rollo is bang on but the godfather of trp married epiphany phase. I will buy book4 but note a lot of guys are delusional and pedaling bull****. They may 'know' and yet, act blue pill.

I don't trust married men in 2019 (one exception). They are drinking the female logic koolaid. They will pander.

She won't be 70 but yes, that's a problem. I was so blind until now so I didn't think too much about age differences as long as I was attracted physically and emotionnally.
Young > not old.

Feminine not masculine. Low kill count not high.

All of the above is common sense.NotN this gender neutrality equalism rubbish.

That's inspiring. Not sure I can do it though !





Thanks for your comment.
I fully understand that the red pill stuff should not lead to see evil everywhere (in any woman) and have a good excuse instead of taking full responsibilities. It has just helped me a bit to reevaluate more objectively the guilty feeling I had towards this issue.

I like my job, it is fullfilling and provides very good-working conditions. Money is not really the problem here. If I break up with her I will of course move out and pay the rent of my own apartement and pay for the child support. The latter is hard to accept yet as it was mainly her decision to keep the baby.

Sorry if you misunderstood, but I don't "love my kid". Or should I say selfishly, I love him but I don't want to lose my time for him. He's cute, it's okay playing with him for 15mn a day. After that I'm like "I really have more important things to do". I don't think much about him, about his future and education for ex. as I have not desired him. It might be bad and some others say on this topic I have to grow up, but it how I feel now.
Your interpretation of the situation is quite accurate and things won't be that bad if we stay together. It's just my gut feelings telling me to not settle down now.




Wow, my girl did the same several times. But first times I didn't think she could do in order to get pregnant (so naive I was...). So your daughter was unexpected ?

Thank you for your comment. It sums up what my options are.[/QUOTE]

You should see evil everywhere. You wont get psycho bpd single mom marruee or pregnant.

You can sift back gradually. Most guys are asleep at the wheel.
 
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