"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Unplugging other guys from the Matrix

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Don Juan
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What are your experiences with this?

We gave presentations in one of my college classes today, and one guy got up there and gave his presentation on how he has never been kissed (me neither, though it doesn't really bother me) and how that makes him feel. He went on to credit his virginity as more a virtue than a fault. I don't know this guy personally, and I don't think he knows many of the others in the class.

I really felt for this guy, because I know just what it's like - I'm still there, for the most part. I could see the pain and frustration on his face. Unlike him, though, I have hope, and I know that through effort, determination, and honest self-reflection I can become the man that I want to be. This guy just seems to be resigning himself to his fate - at least, that's what I took from his commentary on how his virginity is a virtue.

I really want to reach out to him, explain to him that I'm in a similar position, and give him a link to this website. I think he's got what it takes. He had balls of steel to get up in front of a group of college kids that he doesn't know and give the speech he did. I've got to give him props for that; it's something that I probably couldn't have done.

I'm concerned, though, that he'll be offended or take it the wrong way. And I'm also not really in a position to be much of a mentor - I'm in the opening stages of my own journey, and at best, all I could offer him is a friend to discuss these kinds of issues with, and maybe, if he's up to it, a wingman to go out and sarge with.

What do you guys think? Do any of you have experiences leading guys who you don't really know to this website?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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wjh

Master Don Juan
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Karma does! He'll be able to guide you on this.

The thing is, it has to be done right or else it might go over his head. He could be defensive about his ego-investment (his virginity) and lash out at you.
 

everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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Most likely that his desperate cry for help, but he won't want your help I doubt. Modt likely he was hoping to get a female's attention which violates rule #1 Thou shall not seek attention through inadequacy.

See some guys think if they act gay, sensitive, or talk about how pathetic their love lives are that maybe some woman to reign down sympathy on there. Of course this pretty much never happens because women are attracted to the exact opposite (confidence & not neurotic). Then the guys get more & more frustrated. Sad cycle but it's hard to get people to change thinking.
 
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