University

[LifeIsAChallenge]

Yo, I've had a topic here, but I didn't post often and it got deleted.

So, you know probably how my high school went. It was rather sad, but I've had few great friends who helped me to become better. Now I'm rather happy overal, although it's kinda sad that I never got even a little kiss from any girl.

Now, it has been a month since I started attending university and not much has changed. I don't really go out a lot, cause weather sucks and learning drains all of my energy. To be honest, I don't even feel like going out this part of the year, I'd rather stay home and read a good book.

It's weird, this whole going out thing. I once went to a club after a very pleasant day when I was joyous for absolutely no reason, other than having eaten a delicious pancake and just going around the city, but when I entered the club, all of this positive energy started evaporating. I don't know, for some reason I find tight spaces with a lot of strangers somehow depressing. Maybe it's just my ego reacting to the fact that suddenly there are a lot of people who don't give a damn about me and I'm supposed to be social... Believe it or not, I'm better at being social in the uni! Also, the most fun I've had so far was of course at the nerdy convention - once a nerd, always a nerd.

I've read Double your dating. The advice there doesn't seem to be bad, but it kinda depressed me. You know, the guy talks a lot about how the most attractive thing in men is control... You know, I'm such a mess, I can't control myself at all! I almost missed an important exam yesterday. I know the girls see it, and while I think they see me as a funny and likable guy, I'm afraid they do not see me as boyfriend material because of that.

And ****, I should never be too ****y. I rarely feel ****y and everytime I do, I say something douchey that totally destroys the atmosphere in the room.

I have so many passions, I don't have any energy left to chase girls. I mean, if I only had to learn, I would find some time, but I have so many time-consuming hobbies!

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Yo, I've had a topic here, but I didn't post often and it got deleted.

So, you know probably how my high school went. It was rather sad, but I've had few great friends who helped me to become better. Now I'm rather happy overal, although it's kinda sad that I never got even a little kiss from any girl.

Now, it has been a month since I started attending university and not much has changed. I don't really go out a lot, cause weather sucks and learning drains all of my energy. To be honest, I don't even feel like going out this part of the year, I'd rather stay home and read a good book.

It's weird, this whole going out thing. I once went to a club after a very pleasant day when I was joyous for absolutely no reason, other than having eaten a delicious pancake and just going around the city, but when I entered the club, all of this positive energy started evaporating. I don't know, for some reason I find tight spaces with a lot of strangers somehow depressing. Maybe it's just my ego reacting to the fact that suddenly there are a lot of people who don't give a damn about me and I'm supposed to be social... Believe it or not, I'm better at being social in the uni! Also, the most fun I've had so far was of course at the nerdy convention - once a nerd, always a nerd.

I've read Double your dating. The advice there doesn't seem to be bad, but it kinda depressed me. You know, the guy talks a lot about how the most attractive thing in men is control... You know, I'm such a mess, I can't control myself at all! I almost missed an important exam yesterday. I know the girls see it, and while I think they see me as a funny and likable guy, I'm afraid they do not see me as boyfriend material because of that.

And ****, I should never be too ****y. I rarely feel ****y and everytime I do, I say something douchey that totally destroys the atmosphere in the room.

I have so many passions, I don't have any energy left to chase girls. I mean, if I only had to learn, I would find some time, but I have so many time-consuming hobbies!

Proof that university changes little because the change has to come from within.

That last paragraph is untrue and depressing. You can never have too many passions to attract women, unless you are a freak like an around the world sailor. Even then, they'd have shore breaks to talk to women. Passions just play up your attractiveness.

That is because ****y doesn't suit your inner feeling of yourself. Imagine dumb people trying to act smart, they never fool anyone and make everything awkward because no one knows how to respond. It is easier to be awkward on purpose as a form of self entertainment.

Force yourself out. I used to ask myself "Which activity will make me more likely to have sex?"

The club causing you to lose that state is because you had a very serene joy, then went into an environ with infinitely more energy. To keep feeling joyous, either learn to love that environ or go somewhere more chill which suits your personality more. No other lace, besides house parties maybe, will put you in a situation for easy sex so often.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

First off, posts are not deleted for inactivity.

Secondly, read conquer your campus.

What are these mysterious hobbies that you talk so much of, but never name?
There is ALWAYS time for being social.

What are you going to do about this?

 

[Rhino]

Don't be ****y if it doesn't fit you. And like NDJ said, read conquer your campus. I read it a couple months ago and it was a real helpful, practical tool without all the idealistic spiritual crap.

I've never been to a club personally, and I doubt I'd enjoy that kind of atmosphere. It isn't for me. Yes, you'll probably have a better chance to find a girl in a club to have sex with right away than anywhere else. But its in your daily life and activities that you'll meet people (girls) you'll build meaningful relationships with. Since you have "so many" hobbies, there's sure to be some of them that are intrinsically social in nature.

House parties are good too, fwiw.

 

[PuertoRicanGuitars]

Yo, I've had a topic here, but I didn't post often and it got deleted.

So, you know probably how my high school went. It was rather sad, but I've had few great friends who helped me to become better. Now I'm rather happy overal, although it's kinda sad that I never got even a little kiss from any girl.

Going to post here instead of starting a new thread.

I was just like this in high school. I had few friends, with occasionally actually going out. Was like this for the first two years. I go to community college and have no clue how to start fresh. It's so different from high school, that social atmosphere full of activity isn't there. Seems that people go, show up to class, then go home.

Anybody here go to community (junior) college? I have no clue what to do. I want to start fresh.

 

[LifeIsAChallenge]

For any socially awkward teenager who has to suffer through having no social life in high school: don't worry, everything they told you about college being a chance for a new, better start is absolutely true. I told myself that I can be a chill, likable guy and it actually became true. At this point I'm still single, but I can honestly say that it doesn't make me miserable in the slightest, cause my life as a whole is just cool.

I approached a really beautiful girl on the university and got her number (she studied the same major as me). It seemed like she was really into me, always being happy to see me and telling me how smart and good looking I am. However, she had 3 majors (!), so she did not have time for an actual date, but she kept sending me flirty and even naughty text messages. When I finally had a date with her, it was cool, but week later she resigned from my major and since that I did not have any contact with her. I mean, she does not even return my calls. Ah, I'm not heartbroken or anything, but I can't say it doesn't suck. But it sorta built my confidence, cause she was definitely the hottest girl from my major, and I ALMOST did get with her ; p.

 

[LearningSlowly]

For any socially awkward teenager who has to suffer through having no social life in high school: don't worry, everything they told you about college being a chance for a new, better start is absolutely true. I told myself that I can be a chill, likable guy and it actually became true. At this point I'm still single, but I can honestly say that it doesn't make me miserable in the slightest, cause my life as a whole is just cool.

I approached a really beautiful girl on the university and got her number (she studied the same major as me). It seemed like she was really into me, always being happy to see me and telling me how smart and good looking I am. However, she had 3 majors (!), so she did not have time for an actual date, but she kept sending me flirty and even naughty text messages. When I finally had a date with her, it was cool, but week later she resigned from my major and since that I did not have any contact with her. I mean, she does not even return my calls. Ah, I'm not heartbroken or anything, but I can't say it doesn't suck. But it sorta built my confidence, cause she was definitely the hottest girl from my major, and I ALMOST did get with her ; p.

This is like the opposite of your last post. Up there you were unhappy, here you're happy. What's the deal brah?

I think you did badly in the club because it was your first real time in a club and you didn't know what to do yet. You need to feel comfortable in the environment before you can succeed in it. And what are those passions you were talking about? I'm interested...

Have you gotten other girls' numbers? My biggest anticipation about college is that once I can kill my AA, targets will be all over. I'll literally be able to walk right outside on any day and find girls.

Rhino, I like all that idealistic spiritual crap I really like house parties too though, at least we can agree on that.

Will be going to a college town (and party) tomorrow. We'll see if it's what I expect.

 

[LifeIsAChallenge]

Well, it was my first week back then, so I was adjusting. But it went better than expected.

My hobbies... well, I am a huge nerd after all. But it's not true that it is the same as being antisocial. I have my nerd pals, and when we have time we go to bars on saturdays and have lengthy discussions like "what is better - Simpsons or Futurama?" or "who's the most awesome character in Game of Thrones?".

I also do freestyle rapping. Of course any kind of gangsta posturing would be comical from me, so it's mostly nerdy references and clever punchlines. I go to a cypher every week and I plan on winning many, many battles with my nerdy but brutal punchlines ;p.

I also do some voluntary service and teach children of Chechenyan refugees every wednesday, but I do not really sacrifice that much time for it, so I can't say it makes me some kind of wonderful person. However, I think it is a way to make world at least a little bit better place.

And try to write short stories. I hope I will write something decent someday.

So, you know, the only thing I need to is to keep my grades in check and gain some experience with girls. I mean really, grad schoolers are more experienced in this area than me. Otherwise I'm pretty satisfied with where I am now.

 

[ryanjevo]

Well, it was my first week back then, so I was adjusting. But it went better than expected.

My hobbies... well, I am a huge nerd after all. But it's not true that it is the same as being antisocial. I have my nerd pals, and when we have time we go to bars on saturdays and have lengthy discussions like "what is better - Simpsons or Futurama?" or "who's the most awesome character in Game of Thrones?".

I also do freestyle rapping. Of course any kind of gangsta posturing would be comical from me, so it's mostly nerdy references and clever punchlines. I go to a cypher every week and I plan on winning many, many battles with my nerdy but brutal punchlines ;p.

I also do some voluntary service and teach children of Chechenyan refugees every wednesday, but I do not really sacrifice that much time for it, so I can't say it makes me some kind of wonderful person. However, I think it is a way to make world at least a little bit better place.

And try to write short stories. I hope I will write something decent someday.

So, you know, the only thing I need to is to keep my grades in check and gain some experience with girls. I mean really, grad schoolers are more experienced in this area than me. Otherwise I'm pretty satisfied with where I am now.

You are making excuses to not face your fears.

You are acting like girls are impossible to find. GIRLS ARE EVERYWHERE.

Talk to them. Do the freaking bootcamp bro.

Just start talking to girls and you'll get better. Start doing more active things and you will begin feeling more active. It's easy to get stuck in a rut and that's where you were.

In a rut you expect something to snap and it will all be better. WRONG You get your ass out the door and start making your life happen. You already are doing great man! Now start talking to girls, talk to everyone and you will see your demeanor change as you realize that you are a desirable man.

Edit: This is more in response to your first post. But you still can't go wrong.

 

[Amo]

Just get your sh!t together. Stop whining and be a man.

When a man is faced with a problem, he solves it.
When a woman is faced with a problem, she complains to her friends about it.