Unhealthy Comparison

[ssj245]

I am sure that there are others who might feel as I do, when they see a happy couple walk down the street, and one walks by them as they hold hands. Its hard to admit that one does feel jealousy at the other persons happiness and as guys especially at the guy who has the girl. We ask ourselves "What does he have that give him the ability to keep his gf or meet girls that I havent been able to"

Everytime I see a guy with a girl, I get this bad feeling all over me, almost like when you take your first look at a test you took in school and you got a 70 when you thought you did very well and scored at least a 90.

Its a feeling of disappointment with yourself and the problem is that there are dialy reminders everywhere. Couples on the streets, in the park, on the trains.
You just cant run away, that would be wrong.

Everytime I try and confront this feeling of disappointment I feel I try and use what people on this board have said for a long time, and thats to think you are the prize and that you have loads of women even when you dont.

Maybe its me but I am not good with lying to myself and making myself believe things that at times could be or coulndt be distorted. I cant even beleive the good things about me that are in fact true, like the fact people tell me I look good, which I just cant seem to believe. How can I then defend myself against feeling dissapointment when everytime I see a couple because I cant tell myself I am the prize and I have no problems getting girls.

It seems like a big hole that you just cant get out off.

I think that we should be most afraid of our own minds since our minds have alot of power over us that we dont realize.

How can I go and control my mind so that next time I see a couple holding hands or I see a hot girl walk by and not feel regret or jealousy?

 

[WC2]

I don't know, you may want to look into seeing a shrink (?) Some of this sounds like depression.

As far as I've learned, a relationship between a man and a woman isn't all it's cracked up to be. The key is once you go through a few relationships, you find this out. If you're yet to be a DJ and have not dated a good amount of girls, it's impossible to fool your mind into believing that relationships are overrated. You must first experience it. This is why we want to be DJs. Once you become a DJ, you learn that you can do just fine on your own, with or without women. Just think how pathetic it is to live your life yearning for a woman. I live my life yearning for a big opportunity to start my own company, or find my niche in a market and become successful. Women definitely don't top my list. I like to think of them as they cherry ontop in your life. Sweet, but not always neccesary.

 

[ssj245]

hmm..

I think that what I have done is just tried to look for a substitute that makes sense. I feel like there is a hole inside me, a disatisfaction with my life and that women and dating them will fill me up and make me feel good inside all over again.

 

[ssj245]

addon

plus

First of all I am not sure if I am depressed or not.

I feel sad most of the time and I feel like there is a weight on my shoulders that wont let me feel free and good about myself. My mind is always wandering towards things that make me feel bad about myself. Its so hard to feel good about myself and feel happy about my life most of the times that I get very angry at myself and get extremely frustrated because I cant find satisfaction or happiness in the things I do. So i feel like having lots of girls will feel good and make me feel good about life.

I know the causes for these feelings and they stem from my social/love life or rather the lack of the two.

I have friends but they really dont make me feel acomplished, I hold a person social contacts to indicate the type of person he or she is. The friends I have dont do the things I like to do or would like to do. They stay home and play video games and they are all my age. I am 20. They dont venture out much and they are socially backwards.

I on the other hand I love to go to parties and go out at night and see new things and venture out and explore my city..I live in New york city.

I am Socially anxious but I feel like going out makes me feel at least some what part of the world rather than staying at home and doing nothing.

I would be terrified at a party but with friends who liked me and supported me I would feel comfortable and least be able to ago and have a good time.

So not having friends who are interested in doing those things makes me feel upset ALOT at myself. Since I have tried to make friends with any of the people that I had a chance of meeting to try and befriend them. But it rarely worked out and I got stuck with the friends I have now.

Ontop of that, since I have a nonexistant love life it makes me feel terrible, because I really want to have somebody that I can share my time and be close to and be physical with. The thing that bothers me even more is that If I was to get into a realtionship today, then if the realtionship was to go sour down the road, that I would have trouble finding a new girl to date, since my "girl skills" or "game" or w/e you want to call it, bascially sucks and thats why I havent found a girl so far.

Do you think I need to see a shrink?

 

[Zerix]

If you need to see one, then I do too, I could've said all that myself.. pretty much.

 

[henrydreamx]

I am sure that there are others who might feel as I do, when they see a happy couple walk down the street, and one walks by them as they hold hands. Its hard to admit that one does feel jealousy at the other persons happiness and as guys especially at the guy who has the girl. We ask ourselves "What does he have that give him the ability to keep his gf or meet girls that I havent been able to"

Everytime I see a guy with a girl, I get this bad feeling all over me, almost like when you take your first look at a test you took in school and you got a 70 when you thought you did very well and scored at least a 90.

Its a feeling of disappointment with yourself and the problem is that there are dialy reminders everywhere. Couples on the streets, in the park, on the trains.
You just cant run away, that would be wrong.

Everytime I try and confront this feeling of disappointment I feel I try and use what people on this board have said for a long time, and thats to think you are the prize and that you have loads of women even when you dont.

Maybe its me but I am not good with lying to myself and making myself believe things that at times could be or coulndt be distorted. I cant even beleive the good things about me that are in fact true, like the fact people tell me I look good, which I just cant seem to believe. How can I then defend myself against feeling dissapointment when everytime I see a couple because I cant tell myself I am the prize and I have no problems getting girls.

It seems like a big hole that you just cant get out off.

I think that we should be most afraid of our own minds since our minds have alot of power over us that we dont realize.

How can I go and control my mind so that next time I see a couple holding hands or I see a hot girl walk by and not feel regret or jealousy?

See a counselor

 

[flexion_]

Go volunteer in a burn ward at a hospital for a week - might put the value of having a trophy wife at your side in perspective.

You're whole life revolves around what other people think of you. Women aren't your whole life.