Unfriended, then refriended oneitis on FB. Does she know why I did it?

[ghcortez]

I dated a woman for five weeks. She initiated everything, but lost interest and friendzoned me. I’d had a massive oneitis crush on her all year, and her rejection cut deep. Like worst pain I’ve ever felt deep. I tried to play it off like I was unbothered and made the huge mistake of trying to stay friends, but couldn’t handle it when she became intimate with someone else a few weeks later. One morning I decided the pain was too much and I needed to delete her from my life, so I unfriended her on FB. A few hours later, I regretted it, backtracked, and sent a new friend request along with an apology. The following cringey text exchange followed:

me: Sorry!

her: for what

me: I knee-jerked into unfriending you this morning, then regretted it and sent you a friend request with the msg "sorry!" to try to play it off like an accident. I don't want to talk about it, just undo it.

her: So you do or don't want to be my friend?

me: I just want to stay connected on FB

her: wow ok not friends just connected

me: I can't answer these questions I just wish I hadn't done that

her: Next time you do any jerking in the morning, make sure it doesn't involve ending friendships.
her: P.S. you can text any time just to say "hi"

me: I'm sorry I dropped you. I don't have anything else worth saying.

her: Have a good day Brian.

My question is, did my actions expose my true level of butthurt over her rejection? Does she know why I did it?

 

[Robert28]

Oh I’ve done cringeworthy stuff like this before and knew better. What you should have done after deleting her was wait a looong time before friending her again. Then when she says “thought we were friends on here” just blame it on your Facebook getting hacked lol

 

[Medina]

Yeah thats a trainwreck

You need to walk away and never look back

She wants you in her life as errand boy

Why cause yourself this pain?

She dont care. She only cares about herself

End it bro, end her hold on you

I know its real hard but walk away!

 

[Robert28]

If they would just leave us the fvck alone when we unfriend them! That’s my biggest gripe. I mean, damn it’s not enough that you dump me (or don’t officially dump me cause you don’t have the courage to woman up and tell me you’re done), you have the nerve to text us when we delete you from social media. I’ve got a mother, I don’t need tabs kept on me by your ass. If you were so concerned with wtf I’m doing then you should have stayed with me.

 

[ghcortez]

She doesn’t want an errand boy and doesn’t want me in her life so done deal.

 

[lamath]

Bad move indeed.
Now you dont have any card left to play, she knows where you stand and that she has power over you.


Nc is the only way to rectify your situation and when i say NC i mean complete NC.

 

[Robert28]

Did she ever officially dump you or did she make you figure it out on your own and make an ass out of yourself in the process?

 

[ghcortez]

Did she ever officially dump you or did she make you figure it out on your own and make an ass out of yourself in the process?

The second one.

 

[Robert28]

Bad move indeed.
Now you dont have any card left to play, she knows where you stand and that she has power over you.


Nc is the only way to rectify your situation and when i say NC i mean complete NC.

Even NC might not be enough. Hell I once emailed a girl after going 2 weeks of going NC “just checking in to see how you’re doing”. She never even read the message and damn I felt stupid as soon as I sent it. Whatever little power I had I burned with that dumbass move.

 

[ghcortez]

Bad move indeed.
Now you dont have any card left to play, she knows where you stand and that she has power over you.


Nc is the only way to rectify your situation and when i say NC i mean complete NC.

This happened eight months ago. I only had comtact with her a few times after this and have had seven months total NC.

 

[Robert28]

The second one.

What did she do? Take us through the timeline. I have a feeling you were in this new thing they call an “almost relationship”. It’s a new term I heard a few months ago but seems to be popular now, they can be harder to get over than an actual relationship and you make mistakes so easy because she ends it and you never even know it until weeks later after you’ve made a fool out of yourself.

 

[Robert28]

This happened eight months ago. I only had comtact with her a few times after this and have had seven months total NC.

The friend request saga happened 8 months ago or y’all ended things 8 months ago and this recently happened? What were the convos like after this happened after you went NC again?

 

[lamath]

Even NC might not be enough. Hell I once emailed a girl after going 2 weeks of going NC “just checking in to see how you’re doing”. She never even read the message and damn I felt stupid as soon as I sent it. Whatever little power I had I burned with that dumbass move.

You did it wrong, 2 week is nothing and you should not contact her again.

 

[Robert28]

You did it wrong, 2 week is nothing and you should contact her again.

Well I failed to mention she had basically ended things with me 3 weeks prior, she just never came right out and told me. I had to figure this **** out on my own and made a fool out of myself in the process. I’ll neber contact her again, I don’t have anything to stand on as far as power goes and honestly I wouldn’t contact someone that did me that way. Either have the balls to tell me it’s over and you don’t want to see me anymore or something, the way she did it was bull****.

 

[lamath]

Well I failed to mention she had basically ended things with me 3 weeks prior, she just never came right out and told me. I had to figure this **** out on my own and made a fool out of myself in the process. I’ll neber contact her again, I don’t have anything to stand on as far as power goes and honestly I wouldn’t contact someone that did me that way. Either have the balls to tell me it’s over and you don’t want to see me anymore or something, the way she did it was bull****.

Thats lacking dencentcy from her part.
Best thing s to go Next !!!!
without a second tought.

 

[Robert28]

Thats lacking dencentcy from her part.
Best thing s to go Next !!!!
without a second tought.

I knew better when we were together because she told me how previous guys treated her like crap and all the stuff they did emotionally to her and blah blah blah. What does she do, turns around and does the same bs to me.lol I guess it’s all she knows since it’s what she’s used to but that’s still no excuse. It took me a long time but when a girl tells you how other guys treated her, that’d your cue to treat her the same way because it’s what she’s used to! If not she will play the games on you that’s been played on her.

 

[ghcortez]

The friend request saga happened 8 months ago or y’all ended things 8 months ago and this recently happened? What were the convos like after this happened after you went NC again?

The rejection came nine months ago. She never explicitly said we were done, but went cold a la the lightswitch effect. Stopped flirting, stopped texting first, stopping inviting me to get together after work (yes, she was a co-worker), stopped being alone with me, sent nasty signals by saying things within earshot of me meant to communicate her lack of interest. I maintained platonic contact for three weeks, first uncertain of where I stood, and then as a “friend.” The whole time I was hanging on in desperation, hoping she would warm back up to me. I did not understand the damage I was doing by accepting the LJBF. After three weeks of beta orbiting, she shared in our group text that she had plans to hook up with someone else that night, on a weekend that she had previously made plans to spend with me. That pretty much shattered me and I finally wised up and cut contact. The final falling out, which included the unfriending douchebaggery, occurred three weeks later. That was in August. We had one final phone call in September; she ended it with “see you soon,” and I said “take care.”

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Op, when a woman friend zone's you, take it out. Otherwise suggest she introduce you to her hotter younger friends or drop dead.

 

[Medina]

She doesn’t want an errand boy and doesn’t want me in her life so done deal.

Did you not sense her slightly butthurt tone? "Oh so we're connected but you're not my friend anymore?" Etc

Women panic/react when you walk away- thats why its always the best option

The friendzone is for errand boys that might prove useful somehow, non-sexually

An alpha refuses this position, he walks away

 

[Robert28]

The rejection came nine months ago. She never explicitly said we were done, but went cold a la the light witch effect. I maintained platonic contact for three weeks, first uncertain of where I stood, and then explicitly as a “friend.” The whole time I was hanging on in desperation, hoping she would warm back up to me. I did not understand the damage I was doing by accepting the (implied) LJBF. After three weeks of that ****, she shared in our group text that she had plans to hook up with someone else that night, on a weekend that she had previously made plans to spend with me. That pretty much shattered me and I finally wished up and cut contact. The final falling out, which included the unfriending douchebaggery, occurred three weeks later. That was in August. We had one final phone call in September; she ended it with “see you soon,” and I said “take care.”

Damn she’s including you in a group text and outright PLANNING to hookup with a guy and tells everyone? That’s cold, and I thought the girl I mentioned was cold af. Thankfully the girl I’m speaking of didn’t offer me LJBF cause deep down she knows where I’d tell her to shove her friendship. She does want to keep me around on Facebook though for some reason, so I just unfollowed her and let her be there. It’s not worth the drama she will cause if I delete her and I’ve deleted her number but forgot to block it.lol who initiated the call and every contact since the “breakup” her or you?