Unfriend ex from facebook?

[Sofomore]

My gf (now ex) just broke up with me. Do I unfriend her on facebook to remove my temptation to "check up" on her, or do I keep her on there?

I am starting NC and fully plan on not talking to her.

 

[European-DJ]

If you are planning a serious session of NC, there is no reason whatsoever to stay friends with her on Facebook. I promise you, you will get ower her 20 times faster if you cannot stalk her wall posts, she will probably try to hit you in some sort of way.

I have had 2x ltr, the one which I didn't unfriendly in Facebook broke my heart through Facebook a couple of times, just because of the fact that she moved on. The other one I have no idea what is doing, and neither was it a hard breakup: the reason being I couldn't keep up with the stuff she was doing after our breakup!

Good luck with the NC!

 

[drellum]

yep

block her. Don't look at her profile either or it is not NC

 

[Sofomore]

thanks for the support. i just unfriended her. I am serious about this NC, if she begged me back I would say no.

 

[Mr.SomeoneElse]

Up to you.
But keep in mind, un-friending imo does seem childish. I feel people are mixing up their social lifes with social networks so much that they take everything that goes on literally. If I unfriend someone on facebook, does that really mean we're not friends?
What I did with my last ex was just un-subscribe from her posts, so they didn't appear on my wall.
I then started doing all of the things that I didn't have time to do while we were dating. (boxing, out with buddies, working out, etc.. )

I'll tell you man, success = the greatest revenge.
There is nothing like the feeling of having her 'like' your new gym pics you upload months later, or being forced to see the new photos of you with hot chicks at clubs/parties or even read the flirty banter of girls posting on your wall about how much fun they had.
Then 6 months down the road she'll be messaging you out of the blue 'Hiii' and you can talk to her like a gentleman, ask her how she's been with genuine interest and then you can explain to her what you've accomplished in the last year, and what your current goals are.
Then go to sleep knowing she's probably crying to her pillow because unlike her, you didn't plateau you learn and grow.

 

[InnerHappiness]

This is the perfect opportunity to delete facebook. Whatever path, let us know if you need advice on getting over the breakup.

 

[Sofomore]

It definitely looks petty when I unfriend her, but honestly it will help me get over her quicker. I don't have the ability to "check" on her life or any other retarded moves I might make.

 

[drellum]

Up to you.
But keep in mind, un-friending imo does seem childish.

Why?

If you are feeling heartbroken you need to do whatever it takes to heal. Your ex should understand this also if they care anything about you!

 

[RedScorpion]

I unfriended/blocked my oneitis from fb. It went before like "should I check her page, no I shouldn't, ok I'll check it" then it'd be either "Nothing changed hrm" or "she wrote something to someone else that *****". Didn't happen all the time but too much drama inside my head for something like that. And I had kept her off the news feed for months before that.

I agree it's petty, but it helps in the recovery I think. We had a 'fight' (she was *****y to me), and I had decided that that was enough. I knew I was done with her. I wanted to go no contact. Just had to decide how much. I decided if I couldn't resist checking her fb for any reason, then I would block her. And day later, gave in... was not worth giving in to check, it was just pictures of her smiling, partying and crap. And got pissed about that (even though it's not my business). So I blocked.

I can't say it's universally the best decision, but it's better for yourself for moving on.

 

[drellum]

I unfriended/blocked my oneitis from fb. It went before like "should I check her page, no I shouldn't, ok I'll check it" then it'd be either "Nothing changed hrm" or "she wrote something to someone else that *****". Didn't happen all the time but too much drama inside my head for something like that. And I had kept her off the news feed for months before that.

I agree it's petty, but it helps in the recovery I think. I decided if I couldn't resist checking her fb for any reason, then I would block her. And day later, gave in... was not worth giving in to check, it was just pictures of her smiling, partying and crap. And got pissed about that (even though it's not my business). So I blocked.

I can't say it's universally the best decision, but it's better for yourself for moving on.

I still came across my ex via mutual friends. in the end I shut the whole ****ing thing down - much easier.

I will be back in the future but not until I'm fully healed!

 

[Mr.SomeoneElse]

Why?

If you are feeling heartbroken you need to do whatever it takes to heal. Your ex should understand this also if they care anything about you!

To me this is running away from your problems.
You don't have to talk to her, but you have to get used to the fact that she's living life and still alive. What is leaving her on your facebook going to do that's so detrimental? If you remove her it just creates for future experiences and sends a message to her that if you meet in person you aren't going to be able to deal with the interaction like an adult.
Just like if you lived in a small town and had a Long Term relationship end, You couldn't just 'delete' her from your life and not see her in public.

This is my opinion, like I said. Everyone can go through breakups however they want but I just think 'I deleted you off my facebook!' is a little to high school for me. I'd rather just be a man about it and come to terms with the fact we aren't dating anymore.
Think of any men of power, role models, etc.. would they un-friend their last oneitis/ex on facebook after a breakup?

 

[drellum]

To me this is running away from your problems.
You don't have to talk to her, but you have to get used to the fact that she's living life and still alive. What is leaving her on your facebook going to do that's so detrimental? If you remove her it just creates for future experiences and sends a message to her that if you meet in person you aren't going to be able to deal with the interaction like an adult.
Just like if you lived in a small town and had a Long Term relationship end, You couldn't just 'delete' her from your life and not see her in public.

This is my opinion, like I said. Everyone can go through breakups however they want but I just think 'I deleted you off my facebook!' is a little to high school for me

NC is NC and while you are viewing her on FB or anywhere else it is not NC....that is contact.

I agree you do need to accept that your ex is moving on and living life but emotions are not easily turned off. I know that for sure and the best way for ME to handle that is to be in NC. I don't want the temptation to contact, view or know what she is doing. Why should I.

Closing facebook has worked fine for me. As I said earlier, I will be back - but only when I am emotionally healed. I don't buy into this "man up" crap. Do whatever it takes to heal!

D

 

[RedScorpion]

I still came across my ex via mutual friends. in the end I shut the whole ****ing thing down - much easier.

I will be back in the future but not until I'm fully healed!

I've seen that too haha. One close female friend still posted pics of her, so I took her off the feed just in case. Closing fb down is a decent idea too. I have long distance family/friends on it so that's a good chunk of a reason for me to keep it.

I think having them 'out of sight, out of mind' is the most important part. If it's something that has them popping into your thoughts when you didn't want to think of them, then it's that little bit of control that you still don't have over the recovery process. Like I know it's stupid but I get irked seeing her even write something idle, let alone flirting with everyone (which I had seen). I don't want to be angry at her. I don't want to feel anything for her.

 

[InnerHappiness]

To me this is running away from your problems.
You don't have to talk to her, but you have to get used to the fact that she's living life and still alive. What is leaving her on your facebook going to do that's so detrimental? If you remove her it just creates for future experiences and sends a message to her that if you meet in person you aren't going to be able to deal with the interaction like an adult.
Just like if you lived in a small town and had a Long Term relationship end, You couldn't just 'delete' her from your life and not see her in public.

This is my opinion, like I said. Everyone can go through breakups however they want but I just think 'I deleted you off my facebook!' is a little to high school for me. I'd rather just be a man about it and come to terms with the fact we aren't dating anymore.
Think of any men of power, role models, etc.. would they un-friend their last oneitis/ex on facebook after a breakup?

Keep in mind, OP is in an emotional state right now. The ex will most likely post something to mess with your head and try to "come out ahead." Why give her that opportunity. Worst, Very few girls won't do something like that and go full NC, leaving the OP wondering.

I'd say get off from Fakebook until you become emotionally detached.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Delete her. There is nothing petty about it. Why torture yourself? Move on. Live your life. She had her chance to be in your life and she voluntarily exited. **** her! Now every time you post something - it wont seem "try-hard" and it definitely wont seem like you're trying to rub your success in her face. By deleting her you're saying you don't care about her anymore

 

[Alvafe]

I say to delete her, don't need to block, also its don't matter if she is or not moving on, you don't want any contact with her anymore, or in cases you still are bound to see each other, just keep it civil and not talk about anything personal, after sometime it won't matter anymore because you moved on

 

[Bible_Belt]

Up to you.
But keep in mind, un-friending imo does seem childish. I feel people are mixing up their social lifes with social networks so much that they take everything that goes on literally. If I unfriend someone on facebook, does that really mean we're not friends?
What I did with my last ex was just un-subscribe from her posts, so they didn't appear on my wall.
I then started doing all of the things that I didn't have time to do while we were dating. (boxing, out with buddies, working out, etc.. )

I'll tell you man, success = the greatest revenge.
There is nothing like the feeling of having her 'like' your new gym pics you upload months later, or being forced to see the new photos of you with hot chicks at clubs/parties or even read the flirty banter of girls posting on your wall about how much fun they had.
Then 6 months down the road she'll be messaging you out of the blue 'Hiii' and you can talk to her like a gentleman, ask her how she's been with genuine interest and then you can explain to her what you've accomplished in the last year, and what your current goals are.
Then go to sleep knowing she's probably crying to her pillow because unlike her, you didn't plateau you learn and grow.

I very much agree.

fwiw, when you do all of that and get the out of the blue Hii message, the ex is yours for the evening with no effort at all if you want her. That's why she's sending the message. For guys who are interested in casual sex with exes - that's how to do it. Go on about your life as though you don't notice she exists. Then when you get the out of blue message, take advantage of that moment when she is lonely, weak, vulnerable, horny, and in need of the validation that sex provides. Then continue ignoring her until the process repeats itself.

And of course I'm not recommending that anyone bang their exes; I'm just saying that is how to do it if a person wanted to.

 

[handle]

It's your call but it definitely comes across childish. I did it once and I think all it did was send a message to mutual friends that I took the breakup poorly.