I suppose this situation is somewhat unique and perplexing. I apologize if it's a bit lengthy... I'm just trying to share all the information I have so I can get some advice from those who are more experienced. Before you reply with a comment such as "get over it" or "move on", I'd really appreciate it if you read the entire thing. Anyways...
I'll start off by introducing myself. I'm a 17 year old guy who is a junior in high school. I've got my share of friends and can get along with anyone. As far as looks go, I've reached my full potential (good hygiene, in shape, clean). Fulfilling your maximum potential does not necessarily mean stunning looks but it shows that I take care of myself. If you need to anything specific about me, just ask.
Now, about this girl. Prior to 8th grade, I held no true interest in any girls (which is common for that younger age). She moved here on the first day of 8th grade from Japan. I assume that many of you do not believe in the "love at first sight" philosophy but let me tell you, that is exactly what it was when I saw her for the first time in my class. I introduced myself to her gradually over time, very typically 8th grade-esque. Her English at the time was just enough to get but it gave her reluctance to speak to anyone who did not speak Japanese (the entire school). I did not speak with her very often but I did occasionally, being the only guy in the school who did so. We did not reach the point at the time where we did things outside of school together, though that was mainly due to the language barrier as she slowly but steadily became accustomed to American culture.
While in 8th grade, I also underwent a large physical change. During that time, I was three inches shorter and weighed 70lbs more. I dropped those 70lbs by the end of 8th grade by running four miles and eating very healthy. It was all because I had a desire to be with her. I told myself that I would never be with her unless I did this... that's how true my motivation is. I kept it all off as well, as I currently weigh 145lbs with 10% body fat. Of course, she does not know and will never know that she was the only motivation I had while doing this.
9th grade arrived and it became time to enter high school. We did not have a class together anymore, though I often spoke with her in the hallway and such. A few months in, the unfortunate situation occurred where a girl told her that I liked her. Yeah, a horrible scenario, I know. When she was told, she apparently acted all shy and blushed and was basically in denial, saying "no he doesn't! I don't think so!" and such. these things just get out when you like someone for more than a year in high school. with her now informed by that ignorant girl, I talked to her about my feelings. it was not awkward for either of us, but unfortunately, she just wanted to "stay friends". yeah, those are some horrible words that many know as well. after that, we acted pretty much the same except she was a bit more open towards me. About midway through the year, I decided to invite her to a group gathering with my friends (girls and guys) to see a movie. One of my friends (who was on her girls' tennis team) insisted on asking her at tennis practice. She said yes and that was the first time we spent outside of school together. She was shy, as usual, but we kept each other company but she stayed away from the group of about ten people for the most part and it was mainly the two of us on the outside, with me and her just talking and laughng.. It went well though, not considering that her romantic interest was obsolete.
Also, she is very in touch with her Japanese culture. Every Saturday, she goes to Japanese School all day, seeing all of her Japanese friends. Looking at her Facebook, I'm the only guy from our school on her friends list. the rest are all girls and guys from her Japanese school that she goes to once a week, all leaving comments in Japanese and such. Understandably, she's still in touch with her culture and those who are in it. Regardless, we have had fun conversations regarding it. She has introduced me to a variety of Japanese music and movies and has even taught me a few words. she has liked a guy before (a Japanese guy from her other school) but he wasn't interested in her.
In 10th grade, we were in a class together again. A few months after school started, we went to the movies (just the two of us) upon my asking, though she was abnormally cold the entire time when we went, leaving immediately right after the movie and refusing to hug me goodbye (after being her friend for more than two years). Regardless, things flowed similarly afterwards. We talked more that year and grew closer, though still not the level of "great friends" or more because of her reluctance to give me a chance. At the end of the year, she actually did come over to my house though when I had a small party. she knew that she knew no one there except me, but she came anyways. it went extremely well, ending in a hug that took three years to acquire. Other than those two times we were pretty much alone outside of school, I asked her a few times over the year if she wanted to do things with me and some other people. She never said no, though the typical excuses were always obviously meant in that notion. Still, the last time I asked her to do something was a success, being the time she came to my house.
Now, in 11th grade, we sit together every day at lunch. This is where I stand now. We talk every day, though it's me initiating the conversation 90% of the time with her making eye contact with me not very often. She is never cruel or mean and always is lively with me when talking with me, eventually asking me follow-up questions after I initiate a conversation, though I can probably just attribute this with her tendencies to be proper and polite in avoiding any form of conflict.
So basically, I could continue this approach where we could remain "just friends" for the rest of our high school lives or I could try a new drastic method. Would not talking with her unless she initiates a conversation herself do anything? She is used to me being quite happy in her presence but would pretending that I could care less about her really be effective? or would I look like I am just a boring person who ran out of conversation topics?
I know girls are interested in appearance, status, reputation, and even personality. With the appearance, I'm clean with full potential. With status, she is aware that I was featured in the New York Times and I pull in about $7000 a year as a 17 year old with my music and journalism, showing I'm not just some slacker. My reputation in school is fine, being I have no conflict with anyone and she is aware that I have a large group of friends and no one really despises me. With personality, we get along well... she just, it's confusing... I'm not sure...
I know most of you will follow this up with "find a new girl" and "forget her", but as cliche as it sounds, I'm in love with her. I have never been attracted to any other girl, and yes, I have tried being interested in other girls. It just doesn't work. I suppose you could twist this around into a very detailed "just friends" story. I also know that most of you will call this unresolvable, but if any of you know any methods that I could try, I really have nothing to lose.
I have been through a lot and I'm willing to try any form of knowledgable advice.
I'll start off by introducing myself. I'm a 17 year old guy who is a junior in high school. I've got my share of friends and can get along with anyone. As far as looks go, I've reached my full potential (good hygiene, in shape, clean). Fulfilling your maximum potential does not necessarily mean stunning looks but it shows that I take care of myself. If you need to anything specific about me, just ask.
Now, about this girl. Prior to 8th grade, I held no true interest in any girls (which is common for that younger age). She moved here on the first day of 8th grade from Japan. I assume that many of you do not believe in the "love at first sight" philosophy but let me tell you, that is exactly what it was when I saw her for the first time in my class. I introduced myself to her gradually over time, very typically 8th grade-esque. Her English at the time was just enough to get but it gave her reluctance to speak to anyone who did not speak Japanese (the entire school). I did not speak with her very often but I did occasionally, being the only guy in the school who did so. We did not reach the point at the time where we did things outside of school together, though that was mainly due to the language barrier as she slowly but steadily became accustomed to American culture.
While in 8th grade, I also underwent a large physical change. During that time, I was three inches shorter and weighed 70lbs more. I dropped those 70lbs by the end of 8th grade by running four miles and eating very healthy. It was all because I had a desire to be with her. I told myself that I would never be with her unless I did this... that's how true my motivation is. I kept it all off as well, as I currently weigh 145lbs with 10% body fat. Of course, she does not know and will never know that she was the only motivation I had while doing this.
9th grade arrived and it became time to enter high school. We did not have a class together anymore, though I often spoke with her in the hallway and such. A few months in, the unfortunate situation occurred where a girl told her that I liked her. Yeah, a horrible scenario, I know. When she was told, she apparently acted all shy and blushed and was basically in denial, saying "no he doesn't! I don't think so!" and such. these things just get out when you like someone for more than a year in high school. with her now informed by that ignorant girl, I talked to her about my feelings. it was not awkward for either of us, but unfortunately, she just wanted to "stay friends". yeah, those are some horrible words that many know as well. after that, we acted pretty much the same except she was a bit more open towards me. About midway through the year, I decided to invite her to a group gathering with my friends (girls and guys) to see a movie. One of my friends (who was on her girls' tennis team) insisted on asking her at tennis practice. She said yes and that was the first time we spent outside of school together. She was shy, as usual, but we kept each other company but she stayed away from the group of about ten people for the most part and it was mainly the two of us on the outside, with me and her just talking and laughng.. It went well though, not considering that her romantic interest was obsolete.
Also, she is very in touch with her Japanese culture. Every Saturday, she goes to Japanese School all day, seeing all of her Japanese friends. Looking at her Facebook, I'm the only guy from our school on her friends list. the rest are all girls and guys from her Japanese school that she goes to once a week, all leaving comments in Japanese and such. Understandably, she's still in touch with her culture and those who are in it. Regardless, we have had fun conversations regarding it. She has introduced me to a variety of Japanese music and movies and has even taught me a few words. she has liked a guy before (a Japanese guy from her other school) but he wasn't interested in her.
In 10th grade, we were in a class together again. A few months after school started, we went to the movies (just the two of us) upon my asking, though she was abnormally cold the entire time when we went, leaving immediately right after the movie and refusing to hug me goodbye (after being her friend for more than two years). Regardless, things flowed similarly afterwards. We talked more that year and grew closer, though still not the level of "great friends" or more because of her reluctance to give me a chance. At the end of the year, she actually did come over to my house though when I had a small party. she knew that she knew no one there except me, but she came anyways. it went extremely well, ending in a hug that took three years to acquire. Other than those two times we were pretty much alone outside of school, I asked her a few times over the year if she wanted to do things with me and some other people. She never said no, though the typical excuses were always obviously meant in that notion. Still, the last time I asked her to do something was a success, being the time she came to my house.
Now, in 11th grade, we sit together every day at lunch. This is where I stand now. We talk every day, though it's me initiating the conversation 90% of the time with her making eye contact with me not very often. She is never cruel or mean and always is lively with me when talking with me, eventually asking me follow-up questions after I initiate a conversation, though I can probably just attribute this with her tendencies to be proper and polite in avoiding any form of conflict.
So basically, I could continue this approach where we could remain "just friends" for the rest of our high school lives or I could try a new drastic method. Would not talking with her unless she initiates a conversation herself do anything? She is used to me being quite happy in her presence but would pretending that I could care less about her really be effective? or would I look like I am just a boring person who ran out of conversation topics?
I know girls are interested in appearance, status, reputation, and even personality. With the appearance, I'm clean with full potential. With status, she is aware that I was featured in the New York Times and I pull in about $7000 a year as a 17 year old with my music and journalism, showing I'm not just some slacker. My reputation in school is fine, being I have no conflict with anyone and she is aware that I have a large group of friends and no one really despises me. With personality, we get along well... she just, it's confusing... I'm not sure...
I know most of you will follow this up with "find a new girl" and "forget her", but as cliche as it sounds, I'm in love with her. I have never been attracted to any other girl, and yes, I have tried being interested in other girls. It just doesn't work. I suppose you could twist this around into a very detailed "just friends" story. I also know that most of you will call this unresolvable, but if any of you know any methods that I could try, I really have nothing to lose.
I have been through a lot and I'm willing to try any form of knowledgable advice.
