Unexpected reaction

[Effington]

I'd like to offer you a different perspective to think about. Maybe you have totally misjudged this situation from the beginning. Perhaps you weren't on quite the good terms with this girl that you imagined, and what you thought was teasing was really annoying. This was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

Or, maybe she doesn't value the relationship you have with her, and saw an opportunity to make herself look cool at your expense in front of this group.

Whatever the case, don't waste your time on thinking up strategies to "next" her. She already nexted you.

That was actually what I was thinking. You were also probably interrupting a serious conversation. Honestly, I think the best move is to just stop hanging out with her, and see if she tries to play nice later. I'd say your game is off if you're being called obnoxious and loud. Sorry man.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

And yeah, confronting her was stupid, but I honestly had nothing to loose, I almost never talk to her or her friends that much anyways and our friends are pretty separated from each other. I was using it as a last ditch attempt to figure out what went wrong so I can learn from it. Now it's pretty apparent that I screwed my game up somewhere and that it wasn't anything else.

Mack, I do feel the need to put her in her place, what she did and what she said after was pure disrespect and I don't plan on letting it slide. What type of comment are you talking about. Do you mean a simple "Oh... you," and just leave or "Shut the Fvck Up!" lol? Also, sometimes she'll talk to some of my friends, should I shoot her down even if she's not talking to me, or wait until she actually addresses me.

Sry for the bump, but I'm still not sure about what do do. For now I know I'm not talking to her or anything, but I'm not sure what to do if she comes to me. MotownMack had a pretty good idea, but not quite sure exactly what he meant.

 

[Mavrick]

Accept that this girl owes you nothing. Realize that you are the same around her as you are around anyone else. Don't add value to her that she hasn't deserved. F'ck it fight it. It's all the same.

 

[ezily]

Sry for the bump, but I'm still not sure about what do do. For now I know I'm not talking to her or anything, but I'm not sure what to do if she comes to me. MotownMack had a pretty good idea, but not quite sure exactly what he meant.

dude next time she tries to talk to you just completely ignore her. Just nod and act like you're not listening she'll get the picture. If you try and tell her off like you want to you'll seem like a lame AFC. She'll know you care what she thinks and she'll think she has power over you. Don't say anything to her. Don't talk to her. Just ignore. If she tries to talk to you, again, just nod and say things like, "yeah", "OK", "yeah", etc. It'll be hilarious. Plus she'll know that you have no interest in speaking to her. She probably won't get arrogant about it and plus you'll have taken the high road. telling her off is bad because then she'll tell all her friends how much of a loser you are. So don't say anything to her. She probably won't even talk to you again. But if she does DON'T respond in any sort of conversation manner.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Alright, I know you guys are probably getting sick of this thread, but something about your answers has been bothering me. To me, most of these answers seem a bit AFC. I mean, a girl rejects you, and you go into this whole mood. I'm going to ignore her 'cause she told me to rejected me.

I read an article about someone who was talking with this chick before that friend knew. He thought they were having fun, but at the end of the night, when he asked for her number, she made up some BS about having a bf. The next time he saw he, he decided, **** it, I'm not going to let her affect me. So instead of ignoring her, he just acted like nothing had happened before and had fun. Later, they ended up making out and he got her number.

Basically, what I'm saying is, the girl I'm talking about did essentially reject me, but I don't think that means I should completely ignore her. I mean, I ran into a friend in the hall today, and she was with him. It was really awkward not even acknowledging her. Now I'm not saying I should go seeking her out, but if she's around me, I don't think I should just completely give her the cold shoulder. That essentially lets her know that what she did does affect me, which in itself makes me look weaker.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Well? where's the voice of disagreement, I just challenged pretty much everyone who posted here so far. Try to convince me that I'm wrong or tell me why you think I'm right.

 

[ezily]

Edge, what you wanted to do was tell her off. That is lame, immature, and AFC. When a girl nexts you, you don't go and start to act like a baby. Be a man and take the high road. You don't want to get a bad rep with her friends (even though that's probably already too late). The guy you described above did not tell her off. He did not ignore her. He just let it go. So that's what you should do. Don't go out of your way to do anything for her or talk to her. If you see her say "what's up" or something, but that's it. Why do you want to take it any further?

Besides, I thought you said you nexted her. That of course means you no longer need to communicate with her. Seriously, you want to be her friend after what she said you? She's a complete b1tch. Just ditch this girl. Again, don't be mean, but you should not be nice. Just be neutral, show no interest, and move on.

Now if you disagree I think you should say what you want to do. That way we may be able to provide you with better answers.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Alright, ezily, I tried writing down a bunch Of different things about how I should react in this situation, but honestly, I don't know. That's why I'm asking for help.

So let's look at the facts so far;
1) A "friend" of mine who I thought I was on good terms with told me off.
2) She told me I was noisy and annoying.
3) She has yet to apologize to me for it.

...

You know, things are a lot simpler when you just analyze them. What was I thinking? Here I am letting her affect me like that when it's her fvcking problem. SHE told me off. SHE didn't apologize. SHE killed our friendship, not me. So if she want's to still be friends, then SHE's the one who going to have to make it up to me. I don't have to do anything.

Just to clarify, how should I treat her. I mean, right now the guy inside me is screaming "Fvck that b1tch! Tell her off!"
But that's wrong. How does a DJ handle this type of situation?

 

[ezily]

Alright, ezily, I tried writing down a bunch Of different things about how I should react in this situation, but honestly, I don't know. That's why I'm asking for help.

So let's look at the facts so far;
1) A "friend" of mine who I thought I was on good terms with told me off.
2) She told me I was noisy and annoying.
3) She has yet to apologize to me for it.

...

You know, things are a lot simpler when you just analyze them. What was I thinking? Here I am letting her affect me like that when it's her fvcking problem. SHE told me off. SHE didn't apologize. SHE killed our friendship, not me. So if she want's to still be friends, then SHE's the one who going to have to make it up to me. I don't have to do anything.

Just to clarify, how should I treat her. I mean, right now the guy inside me is screaming "Fvck that b1tch! Tell her off!"
But that's wrong. How does a DJ handle this type of situation?

The guy you described above is a good example of a DJ. He didn't let it affect him and he went on about his business. Just move on with yourself. DO NOT tell her off. That is probably the worst thing you could do. You'll look like a whiny loser. Just let it go.

Again, by all means do not be mean. DJ's aren't mean to girls (or anyone for that matter) who blow them off. They just move on unaffected. You have better things to worry about. Don't get so hung up on what one loser chick thinks. Just treat her like an acquaintance. There's no real need to be mad. She didn't apologize and obviously doesn't care. Do you really think this is affecting her at all? do you think she's sitting up talking about this to her friends? If she apologizes then that's one thing. But if she keeps up the immaturity then just forget about her. Stop stressing out over this ****.

See she is just your plain old average b*tch. You wouldn't want to be friends with her anyway. I would acknowledge her when you see her but that's it. There's no need to take it any further. What she told you should tell you that she doesn't like you. It's weird because what she did was really mean and she has no regrets for saying that. I could not do that to someone (nor should a DJ want to).

btw, I met a person once in college (this was during the year and he was in my class) who got all pissy at me because he thought I did something to him. I didn't do anything to him but this person took it the wrong way. You know how I reacted? I took the high road. I apologized (for something that I didn't even do wrong) to try and keep the peace. Let's just say the person kept acting like a little baby for the longest time (basically acting like a hormonal girl). I just went about my business like it didn't affect me (because I honestly did not care). And guess what happened. All my classmates took my side and thought he was weird as a result.

So maybe you could use that as a lesson. You could (if you really want to end this and move past it in your mind) just apologize in a non AFC way (you need to make it clear that you have taken the high road) but DO NOT BE MEAN, RUDE, UPSET, etc. Just lay it out. for example next time you see her you could say, "hey [insert girl's name], look I just wanted to let you that I don't appreciate what you said the other day to me. I thought is was pretty rude and insensitive. But I apologize if I upset you or something. It wasn't my intention. Well, see ya later." See if you say that you don't come off looking for validation or acting like a mean resentful loser (all AFC traits). Make sure you only say something like this if you come across her alone. And, for God's sake, don't go looking for her to tell her this. Make it natural. And by doing these things, you've taken the high road. She'll be seen as the one who's immature. Thus you'll have a higher social value among mutual people you know, giving you a better hand in the future and more social proof.

Hope this helps. Let us know how it goes and what you decide to do.

Peace.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Thanks E, that helped a lot. And that whole part about apologizing, I'd never thought about it like that before. You know what, I am going to do that. I'm going to take the high road and not let it affect me.

The important thing is that I've learned something from all this and I'm a better person because of it.

I went into this looking for a way to not seem like an AFC and to maybe find a way to get her back for what she did, but you've shown me something else. A true DJ does not think like that. A true DJ will not let things affect him, and desires harmony over conflict.

Thanks E

 

[ezily]

A true DJ will not let things affect him, and desires harmony over conflict.

I could not have said it better myself. Good luck mate. Glad to help btw.