Understanding Other People/Friends

[manish]

Hello

I often fail in this part. I over trust people. I consider every one around me as friend as connect with them as a friend but other way round is not the same.

and people who make friends/ Or talk nice with me tend to use me for there own good reasons.

are all people like this ? or my brain is not thinking in right way. I have seen too much of this in corporate world.

how do you tackle this situation ? do you make friends? what are the qualities do you seek in your friends?

I'm in process of starting internet business. I think its very important to learn this skill of understanding people so that I can use it in my Life and as well as business.

 

[user43770]

Not everyone is that way, but you should still make people earn your trust.

 

[twentee]

never let anyone, and i mean even wife and kids, know everything, have access to everything, or you will regret it, deeply and for life.

 

[Deep Dish]

Do yourself a huge favor and buy the book The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.

Law 2: Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends—they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Law 11: Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted. The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have. Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear. Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

Law 13: When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude
If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds. He will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion. He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

Law 18: Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself—Isolation is Dangerous
The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere—everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from—it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

Law 40: Despise the Free Lunch
What is offered for free is dangerous—it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price—there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.​

 

[Mike32ct]

Most co-workers are NOT your friend. They aren't bad people, but most are only just acquaintances. Go about your daily business and be friendly, but don't expect friendship from them.

It takes several years to find a co-worker worthy of friendship.

I think it's easier and better to make friends via a hobby outside of work. It's a more relaxed atmosphere without the workplace drama.

The workplace has egos, competitiveness, stress, and lots of gossip which are all toxic to friendships. The people aren't inherently bad, but the environment and jobs can sometimes bring out the worst in them.

 

[manish]

any one reading this thread..

http://www.scribd.com/doc/824361/48LawsOfPower

 

[manish]

Most co-workers are NOT your friend. They aren't bad people, but most are only just acquaintances. Go about your daily business and be friendly, but don't expect friendship from them.

It takes several years to find a co-worker worthy of friendship.

I think it's easier and better to make friends via a hobby outside of work. It's a more relaxed atmosphere without the workplace drama.

The workplace has egos, competitiveness, stress, and lots of gossip which are all toxic to friendships. The people aren't inherently bad, but the environment and jobs can sometimes bring out the worst in them.

very true..I like the thought of making friends based on hobby outside of work.