Understanding Class and Taste

[BeExcellent]

I find that an understanding in matters of class, taste, style, and elegance are one of the things that makes a man desirable. Understanding these things can contribute to his stature among people and his status in the world. I don't see much discussion about this topic very often and never in a direct way.

How do you define class and taste? What makes a gentleman? How does being a gentleman advance your agenda where women are concerned? Do you think a "gentleman" is outdated or no longer important in the current dating scene?

You are invited to discuss.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I think it's two things.

One is a conscious awareness of style, specifcally how you dress how you decorate your pad, etc.

The other one, probably more important than the first, is taking risks in life and doing what makes you happy. What gets you up out of bed in the morning and excited to live? These experiences make a man. They make him 'experienced'. The vibe an experienced man gives off is what makes the world go around in my opinion. Think about a fine whiskey aging in the barrel for years and years. The look of it, the taste of it, the aroma it gives off, the bottle it comes in, etc. It's classy, vibrant and something to truly behold. You can't fake it.

That's why guys need to get out and live life. Experiences, good or bad, and risk taking turn you into a better man and other people will pick up on it from across the room.

 

[devilkingx2]

How do you define class and taste? What makes a gentleman? How does being a gentleman advance your agenda where women are concerned? Do you think a "gentleman" is outdated or no longer important in the current dating scene?

it would probably only be important if you intended to meet women at expensive art galleries or masquerade balls filled with socialites or ivy league frat parties

now, if you aren't going to hang out with people like that, things like class or being a gentleman are irrelevant, since the average person listens to pop music and eats at mcdonalds lol.

 

[user43770]

I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy. I find formal events to be absurd. I still consider myself a southern gentleman.

 

[Mike32ct]

Your point is well taken, and this has the potential to be a great thread, but this all really depends on where the guy is located and what kind of people are in his social and work circles. For some upper class socialite circles, this stuff is probably critical.

But for most guys, including myself, dressing well, having SOME table manners, and not spilling food on ourselves at dinner lol is probably more than enough.

But overall, I think of a gentlemen as someone who is respectful and courteous. It’s not so much about being Mr. Etiquette.

 

[zekko]

"Be a gentleman" was one of those things they used to ridicule on this forum. As in "We were told to be gentlemen, but all the girls flocked to the @ssholes". But I agree having manners and etiquette can be a way to impress women. Takes the right kind of guy though. Look at the Christian Grey character from Fifty Shades. Do you think he doesn't know how to order wine or pull out a lady's seat?

 

[Surgeon]

I find that an understanding in matters of class, taste, style, and elegance are one of the things that makes a man desirable. Understanding these things can contribute to his stature among people and his status in the world. I don't see much discussion about this topic very often and never in a direct way.

How do you define class and taste? What makes a gentleman? How does being a gentleman advance your agenda where women are concerned? Do you think a "gentleman" is outdated or no longer important in the current dating scene?

You are invited to discuss.

What's a classy lady like you doing in a place like this?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Style:

Class:

Elegance:

Last girl I talked to was a Muslim whose parents came from Bangladesh. She started talking too much sh1t about white people so I threatened to send her dad screenshots saying how much she wanted to be gang banged. Hahaha.

THAT is class!!!

 

[BeExcellent]

I think both @btownbuck2012 and @TyTe`EyEz have the right idea from my perspective. It's to me an ease and an elegance about oneself but it doesn't mean you have to be older to have it. In some ways it's easier to tell someone what it isn't:

-It isn't money (there are lots of people with plenty of money who do not understand class or taste - and there are people without money who DO understand it - so it can't be bought off the shelf)
-It isn't pretentious (I've seen plenty of elegant people simply dressed on the street, outside fussy fancy venues who are casual and relaxed in their manner)
-It isn't necessarily formal (although it can be) and its certainly not stiff
-It isn't vulgar
-It isn't ostentatious

One thing it always is is appropriate, and another thing it always is is well calibrated. Jeans and a t-shirt with a good belt and good shoes can certainly be tasteful and classy in certain circumstances for example. It pays attention to the way one manifests oneself to others and the messages that manifestation/presentation sends.

Because it is so nebulous it is hard to define but easy to recognize. So its a fascinating thing to think about. See @LJC's post. It's much easier to show someone than tell someone, and it's always shape shifting to time and place an circumstance.

 

[Roober]

In this day, where men often seek as much or more validation than women, it is not difficult to set yourself apart with basic manners. People love to say stuff for shock value to get a reaction, often times things they would not say under normal circumstances.

I define both taste as class as being well-rounded. Can someone really have good taste if they only sample garbage, or if they are only familiar with the finest things in life? Someone with good taste has experienced the whole spectrum and therefore made a good assessment of what they enjoy.

Class to me is a matter of treating others as you wish to be treated. That is the basic foundation of it all. It also comes from a willingness to help others and being open for criticism For example, if you know a relationship is going to end, just be a fvcking adult and end it. People are so go0 0amn insecure that they need to find another branch to grab onto before they end things with the original partner. It's pathetic... Instead, they cheat and lie to the other person, often damaging them for a period of time or sometimes indefinitely...

 

[BeExcellent]

What's a classy lady like you doing in a place like this?

Its a long story, but its around on here. Stick around it's a good group.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Please allow me to introduce myself.

I'm a man of wealth and taste...

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

People commonly think of a gentleman as a prig, but the defining quality of a gentleman is cool. He is one who has his passions well and truly under control. He has direction and a destination, and he is along for the ride in a cool, calm, and collected manner. Knowing what he is about, he is perfectly comfortable with the mystery that is life. He is a magnanimous man, and can therefore incorporate all the multiple facets of life into a harmonious whole.

 

[Trunks]

I agree with OP. When I was younger, I was still very forward but in a way that is considered crass or inappropriate. I learned the value of social cues and showing my desire through body language and subtlety, classier if you will. Women appreciated it much better.

 

[RangerMIke]

Class is simply knowing how to behave and being comfortable in whatever environment you happen to be in without overdoing it. Either at a white tie formal or bowling ally party... you know how to behave and how to make people comfortable around you.

A man with class can leave a white tie party and go to a blue collar pool hall and be excepted in both places.

You have NO CLASS if you act like a buffoon at a formal event....

You have NO CLASS if you act like you are better than the people you are with in THIER environment.

You have NO CLASS if you do not go out of your way to make others feel comfortable when they enter your world.

One of the classiest acts I've ever seen was from the leader of a biker gang... I kid you not, I was with friends coming from a costume party where we were dressed as bikers and biker chicks... complete with fake tats and all. Anyway we walked into this bar and wouldn't you know it... there was a BIKER GANG there. They could have made things REALLY unpleasant and I could tell there were some that were really ticked. But the leader made a joke about it, and told us we needed some advice on how to pull it off. He went out of his way to defuse the tension and make everyone comfortable. THAT WAS CLASS.

 

[Urbanyst]

I find that an understanding in matters of class, taste, style, and elegance are one of the things that makes a man desirable. Understanding these things can contribute to his stature among people and his status in the world. I don't see much discussion about this topic very often and never in a direct way.

All people are ego driven at the end of the day. From the classiest person to the trashiest person.

A man with class, taste, style and elegance is simply a man who has learned how to craft a charismatic persona based on the accepted cultural norms for "class, taste, style and elegance" at the time. And YES there is a strong degree of conformity to it. Conforming to several ideals at once.

The same guy would not pull off the same persona if they lived in 1800 because the standards would be different.

How do you define class and taste? What makes a gentleman?

Class = The ability to express and present yourself without being vulgar, obscene, overly aggressive or overly emotional
Taste = Having values and preferences that conform to whatever is considered "classy" in the mainstream
Gentleman = A Hollywood/Fiction book creation. James Bond crap. But generally a man who honors the tradition of what is considered "classy" regardless of how relevant it is in the current time he lives in.

How does being a gentleman advance your agenda where women are concerned?

It doesn't because there is no such thing as a "gentleman".

Also, a gentleman needs a lady (another Hollywood creation) and ladies don't exist either. So you are basically crafting a persona around finding a unicorn.. assuming that is your main motivation for being a "gentleman". You can put milk and cookies out for "Santa" while you're at it lol.

Do you think a "gentleman" is outdated or no longer important in the current dating scene?

You are invited to discuss.

It was never a real thing to begin with. Its a fantasy.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

A man with class, taste, style and elegance is simply a man who has learned how to craft a charismatic persona based on the accepted cultural norms for "class, taste, style and elegance" at the time.

I'll go even further and suggest most people of "class and taste" are that way because they were raised with role models who had "class and taste."

They don't consciously choose to be classy or tasteful, they only do what comes naturally. For them, being classy and tasteful is as natural as hillbillies banging their sisters and eating mayonnaise sandwiches.

Nixon was born in a shack and became president, yet he never felt he was "equal" to those with better "breeding."

This suggests that without the proper "breeding" (genetics and parenting and proper social circle during upbringing) class and taste are out of reach.

One might even suspect that any proclamations or recommendations of the necessity of "class and taste" are a subtle and subconscious "class signaling" on the part of the recommender.

 

[Trump]

It's hard to define class. Everyone is it in for themselves and will act according to the situation.

For me class is someone who:

1) dresses decent
2) doesn't change their word
3) doesn't lie

Once someone changes their word or lies, I don't want to deal with them anymore. You can be rude, to the point, have high expectations, get upset, but you cannot change your position or not tell the truth. Once you do that, the conversation is over.

I went with a maxim model and she kept telling everyone I was gentlemen, I couldn't get anywhere with her. I went with another model and wasn't a gentlemen, I slept with so so many times.

Women don't care about gentlemen. They care about usefulness. Being a gentleman means nothing.

 

[Von]

Style:


Class:

Oh crap... I know the guy in suit lol.

He's a real classy good looking guy making a life in the USA now lol... we meet in college lol

Class is about behaviour
Class is about dressing (suit)
Class is about eating manners
Class is about social manners
Class is about cultural context

Class is about being refined in taste and manners within a context that shows you a man of culture, grooming, confidence and frame,

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

All people are ego driven at the end of the day. From the classiest person to the trashiest person.
A man with class, taste, style and elegance is simply a man who has learned how to craft a charismatic persona based on the accepted cultural norms for "class, taste, style and elegance" at the time. And YES there is a strong degree of conformity to it. Conforming to several ideals at once.

The same guy would not pull off the same persona if they lived in 1800 because the standards would be different.



Class = The ability to express and present yourself without being vulgar, obscene, overly aggressive or overly emotional
Taste = Having values and preferences that conform to whatever is considered "classy" in the mainstream
Gentleman = A Hollywood/Fiction book creation. James Bond crap. But generally a man who honors the tradition of what is considered "classy" regardless of how relevant it is in the current time he lives in.



It doesn't because there is no such thing as a "gentleman".

Also, a gentleman needs a lady (another Hollywood creation) and ladies don't exist either. So you are basically crafting a persona around finding a unicorn.. assuming that is your main motivation for being a "gentleman". You can put milk and cookies out for "Santa" while you're at it lol.



It was never a real thing to begin with. Its a fantasy.

A gentleman does not simply fit into a social category, but is someone with a timeless quality to them. They are grounded and rooted in a solid sense of reality that transcends the fickle moment... yet the present moment is also reality for them. And so they tend to have a metaphysics, a sense of aesthetic, ethical, and philosophical norms that transcend fashion.... even though they are concerned also with fashion. They are not a product of society, more often than not society has been produced by them. A gentleman lives a self-determined life, and so is self-created... to a certain extent. Life is akin to a work of art.